Conscious compassionate? I would say that we have always been this way. But this might not be very easily seen…. especially by those who have had bad experiences.

Also my experience with males and the emotional connectiveness with family, this has always been very strong. Perhaps this is just me and the company I keep.

yes, i think that men -- and women -- continue to grow into more conscious choices for the kind of life they want. but evolution of gender roles is not a new thing. my mother was a sole-provider single parent in the 60s. i was the primary wage-earner and my husband the stay-at-home dad in the 80s. there was never any stereotypical "women do this, and men do that" thinking in my home growing up, or in my marriage. and i have known many men through the years who have done soul-searching and emotional work to become more well-rounded and satisfied human beings.

and aschleigh, betty friedan was not just "a bored housewife who started talking to women" out of the blue. she was an academic and progressive who graduated summa cum laude from smith, and she already had a writing career long before she wrote the feminine mystique which was published in 1963. you can read more about her here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Betty_Friedan - her contribution to the women's movement is immense, and that has brought new freedom to men and women both.

i do agree that the obamas are both fantastic role models of well rounded people who are great parents too. i think this is going to have a very good influence on our society. but they're not the first. this transition has been happening for a long time. i've always known men who thought about how to have better relationships with their kids, but on the other hand, i also still see men who buy into role stereotypes today and won't change diapers or who call it "babysitting" when they are alone with their own children.

and jason, do you really think that a man picking their kid up from school makes them "vaginized"?? i'd just call that being a parent, and i think my married-with-kids friends would say the same thing. being a conscious parent doesn't make a man into a woman, any more than me being the primary wage-earner in my marriage "penis-ized" me. that's just silly. i mean come on. is brad pitt "vaginized" because he puts being a father as a high priority? are my friend's husbands "vaginized" because they take their kids to classes, make their dinner, change their diapers, nurture their offspring? no, they've still got their dicks intact. they're just great parents. if we are ever going to make any progress that frees people up to be who they are without these ridiculous gender assumptions, we're going to have to be more aware of our word choices and descriptions.

and i agree that when any person raises their standards for the kind of relationship and communication they want with their loved ones, it affects the others as well. it's not a gender issue, it's a human issue. and in our culture today, there continues the growing awareness that we can all find what makes us happy, and what we're good at, and have a higher quality of life that brings us more satisfaction. women and men equally.

And those guys get laid consistently !

lol yeah keep tellin yourself that as you chase married men who are unavailable...lol

JSin

>"Either men are getting better or I am getting better at recognizing good men"

That may be the crux of it. Good for... ME... someday soon maybe? lol

What would that have to do with the kind, compassionate men I know who are getting laid consistenly? They may be married and unavailable to me and compassionate and getting laid often.

Women want sex and attention. Men want sex and attention.

Some men seem to be getting better. Some men seem to be staying the same.

>"view emotion as female territory and sex as male. "

That's the basis of male-earn-sex philosophy, as if the man is the only one getting good when it is strictly sexual rather than relationship based, so he has to "make up" the supposed imbalance with either material or emotional "goods". But I think both men and women need both - sex and emotional intimacy - so in fact both parties get benefit from their sexual encounters. I said already, I think emotional distancing (male or fem) has to do more with avoiding rejection pain.