Thanks Gerard. I do see this as a human rights issues, I'm glad you brought that up.

I see the fate of women in yemen as connected to the fate of american women. I see rights of humans in yemem as connected to the rights of human everywhere. Women's rights are human rights. And all of it has an impact on relationships.

There are myriad studies about why women go back if you bother to look... and it ain't "Because I love him."

It's late... I don't ever to want to be deliberately mean or pessimistic. But neither do I pander to anyone's sensitive ego or self-serving illusions on this subject.

I refer you to an excellent new book that was the basis for the lead article in the NY Times magazine several wks ago:

"Half the Sky- Turning Oppression into Opportunity For Women Worldwide"- by Nicholas Kristiof & Sheryl WuDunn.

Yup, by now it's been on "Oprah", & is climbing the bestseller list. I think it'll end up being one of the seminal books of our era... it's that important on a mass level. .

And two I always recommend on the subject of gender equity & finding ways to create equal partnerships:
"The Chalice & the Blade"
"The Partnership Way"- both by Riane Eilsner.

A few points:

"Equal" is not automatically equivalent to "the same". The ERA had it's flaws, but they were small compared to the setbacks encountered by it's defeat. I don't give a damn about state's rights here, anymore than I do regarding any other civil rights & anything that makes discrimination harder. Women's experience historically, & even today is clearly different than men's, & most ridiculous court challenges could have been defeated. That would have been nothing compared to time spent in courts because we don't have the teeth of a federal ERA type amendment on the books.

We're hardly done w/ the work of feminism in this country, simply because we've fought & succeeded in changing things enormously for the better... so much so it's taken for granted. Women are still the recipients of way too much violence & discrimination. We still make 1/4 to 1/3 less than men for comparable work. But yeah... we've come a long way, w/ more to come. I don't make this shit up. Just go look up UN & crime stats.
Our gains here... many of them are so recent. I never take them for granted. I know too much about history.
And I'm so sick of hearing about another man who killed his ex-wife, & sometimes the kids. Or comforting a friend who's been assaulted, or threateningly stalked. I'm not particularly fearful, yet I'm always looking over my shoulder when I walk in a parking lot at night, checking the backseat before I get in the car, in a way men usually don't have to. And when they do, it's other men they're watching out for. That gives the few violent women a strong advantage... but the operative word is few. .
Sexism is evil. It poisons relationships. And so far... I've only been mostly talking about this country...

Feminism is global. Not only do many of us travel, & but we have friends & family in other countries, & are citizens of a wide world. Global warming affects us, & so does mass rape & slavery in the Sudan. Poverty, lack of easily available birth control, AIDS... it all crosses the globe in it's very real effects... & that's not even delving into basic human compassion. The same goes for hearing about & seeing effective solutions, more gender equity, & healing- Inspiration, hope, & good ideas to learn from.

FINALLY, FINALLY!!! mainstream journalists are beginning to get a clue about the fact that so-called "soft" woman's issues are hardcore HUMAN issues. They're beginning to understand that in cultures where men are highly dominant, where women & girls are denied education & oppressed, that more loose-canon militarism is almost a given.

Financial institutions & aid orgs., even some govt.s, now have years of clear stats showing that when aid $ gets into the hands of women, it usually goes proportionately way more towards food, housing & education, than it does when in the hands of me. Unfortunately many men spend a good proportion of earned or given $ on, alcohol cigarettes, prostitutes, or showing off in other ways.
Look at charitable sites- they are starting to concentrate their focus & microloans on women. This DOES also benefit men & boys... even tho' yes, power shifts some. That's a good thing. It's hard to beat a woman who is feeding the whole extended family w/ her micro-business. And she is a lot more likely to send her daughter to school, too, feed her more equally, & keep her out of a child marriage. That daughter will usually have fewer, & healthier children. Her sons are safer, too, & have a chance at growing up w/ more respect for women, & w/ less violence in the home.

This IS the next world-wide revolution... the best hope we have for survival.

This is NOT male bashing. I only wish I were exaggerating. There are plenty of good men around... & we need MORE. Even in this country... For very poor guy I know who got screwed in his divorce settlement, there are a dozen who are paying way less than they should be to help their own kids, &/or compensate a women who worked hard for little more than room & board at home for years, so she can get on her feet. .
Too much power corrupts many men on a mass level. Even a poor man can go home, humiliate & beat his wife, neglect his kids, rape his children... Or simply spend the family's food budget in a bar. Especially if he knows he will likely get away w/ it, & the victims will likely be shamed & blamed. After all, they have no power, little to no $ & property of their own, & in some cultures, are literally almost invisible by custom & even law.

Any backlash, denial energy about these issues would be better spent on support of positive change. We're individuals, but we live in cultural & legal contexts. "

There is an arrogance in the male that is in his basic design. He is designed to hunt and to protect. The woman is the gatherer. She created the society and she nurtures it. I sound like I'm talking about a hunter gatherer society don't I? Well the truth is we have advanced so far that we just ran up our own Jacksies!
Women have advanced within the male dominated society in leaps and bounds over the last century. And Western society can claim an age of enlightenment when one of the most bigoted nations on Earth actually votes in a non-white as their leader. Sorry to say that to all you Americans who don't believe that, but we must all face the demon within each of us and exorcise it. This is where bigotry lies, not out there in the street. it lies deep within each of us. In the echoing words of our fathers and our fathers fathers. What's the common denominator with all Nazis? They worship a LOSER!!!!
Who was George Armstrong Custer? a LOSER!!!!
Chairman Mao??? hey he screwed over more people than anyone ever!
What's the common denominator? Male.
When I was single and I decided it was time to take a mate, I didn't let my penis tell me who it would be, I used my head. After all, My penis was having too much fun anyway.
The woman I chose to be my wife had children so I didn't have to rise to that challenge. They were healthy and well behaved. She had a house in the country. Was attending university and running an acting school which she'd got into the black and kept it there for three years.
She'd never taken a handout.
Six months after we married she became ill and has never been healthy since. You've seen Kathleen Turner? Well my wife's in a similar boat. She still works.
If I ran the world, I'd give her the keys.
I gotta tell you that it's a real pain when you have only ten minutes to respond to some thing and then go do your chores or else miss out on another whipping.
Damn!!!