http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf?format=rss Tribe.net. Local Connections http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#96397b03-7db9-46bb-aeae-2057d0fcb58d I'm happy to hear your concept of Altruism is a work in progess Jsin. this from Wikipedia: Altruism (from Latin: alter: the other) is the deliberate pursuit of the interests or welfare of others or the public interest. Altruism, ( like everything else ) can be seen on a continuim, not an absolute. Interest in others can also be interest in self. Like teachers who like to teach, like kids and are not getting rich but want to be compensated for thier work and want to shape young minds. Therapists, politicians, fire fighters, lovers, parents, etc.. A basic interest in others welfare does not negate an interest in our own welfare. It's somewhat paradoxical yet makes sense to me. I help others , I help myself. But maybe I am more near the mid point of altruism, some are further to the interest of others side and some are further to the interest of self side. Fri, 24 Jul 2009 18:25:48 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#96397b03-7db9-46bb-aeae-2057d0fcb58d Aschleigh 2009-07-24T18:25:48Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0cab69dc-d4a7-48ba-88f5-f537207ea4fa Observing the (dis)continuation of repeated 'altruistic' acts towards the unresponsive, uncaring individual clarifies what you're pointing out. Thanks Kole, if I'm hearing you right . People who display any amount of altruism risk something in themselves. Vulnerability, people questioning thier motives, the liklihood it will bounce off like water on a black top. It's difficult to take in good stuff if we're not used to it. It's difficult to learn to recieve and give freely of good stuff. I think it's worth learning personally. Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:29:24 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0cab69dc-d4a7-48ba-88f5-f537207ea4fa Aschleigh 2009-07-24T17:29:24Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#f72d9868-5a3c-4a33-8e28-b567a7fe60c9 Men's anger is awesome if used well, The Black Panthers and che guavara come to mind. Anger over oppression,. I don't know his name but he was marching with Martin Luther King on a march and a police man hit his girlfriend and knocked her to the ground and he must have felt anger at that moment and he picked up his girlfriend and kept walking. Rage Against the Machine the band , their songs, their live act, is filled with anger and it's sexy and it pushes people to think, it's beautful. Ghandi. Yes Anger is a powerful motivating force. ( women have lots of good motivating anger energy too) Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:12:39 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#f72d9868-5a3c-4a33-8e28-b567a7fe60c9 Aschleigh 2009-07-24T17:12:39Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#71ff4724-a6e6-482c-b51c-c70aeb8891ec "if you love everything every swinging dick does in this world " . That's so wierd. I never wrote I love everything that men do in the world. Your logic goes from " I love men" to I love everything men do. Wow. I love me and I don't love everything I do. Anyway I won't get into how what someone does it not necesarrily who they are, although it's connected . Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:00:35 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#71ff4724-a6e6-482c-b51c-c70aeb8891ec Aschleigh 2009-07-24T17:00:35Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#43fac4ce-2589-4817-8612-d61f5e354c7e "rather my experiance is telling me very very few people actually do something without regard for return on investment." Observing the (dis)continuation of repeated 'altruistic' acts towards the unresponsive, uncaring individual clarifies what you're pointing out. Every act inspires from self-interest; people have varying takes on whether that is laudable or repugnant. ~ Kole Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:31:38 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#43fac4ce-2589-4817-8612-d61f5e354c7e Kole 2009-07-24T03:31:38Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#b3d39c13-996a-4ab4-bd3a-8ade0be08eaa Ashliegh wrote: >"I love humanity as whole. I love women specifically, I love men specifically . Some men I love very specifically. Some men I only love generally."< Interesting. You told me a couple posts ago the anger is why you love being single. While I don't feel anger generally, I am not the male norm. I would think if you love everything every swinging dick does in this world you would also love an apreciate the anger many men feel toward this world. just a thought would love to hear your take on it. JSin Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:23:31 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#b3d39c13-996a-4ab4-bd3a-8ade0be08eaa JSin 2009-07-24T00:23:31Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#42cd069b-3fd6-4449-8d39-9af3897de91c "I love women specifically, I love men specifically" What on Earth does that mean? Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:10:20 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#42cd069b-3fd6-4449-8d39-9af3897de91c quel qu'un 2009-07-24T00:10:20Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#cc67c06e-7cb4-4131-ab64-0fb644d22ce7 Leslie stated: >"(though jsin, i think that the feel-good payoff of altruistic acts is nothing to run away from, it's pretty much a win-win situation)"< Altruism is one of those things that is kinda a work in progress, at this point I think it is in reality motive based. I may be wrong. Lets leave it as a not fully formed concept. my weighting is though that honest altruism does not exist. No worries I am not pulling some Ayn Rand type position, but rather my experiance is telling me very very few people actually do something without regard for return on investment. I will keep you appraised if for some reason my thoughts change in this regard, Admittedly it is a work in progress as it were. JSin Thu, 23 Jul 2009 23:17:21 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#cc67c06e-7cb4-4131-ab64-0fb644d22ce7 JSin 2009-07-23T23:17:21Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#4664595f-52a9-43e6-860f-ac2858aaa71d "i'd be down for acknowledging anyone in this challenging life who can keep it all together and bring up healthy and balanced kids. props to all the good parents out there. that i can get behind. " You certainly have opponrtunity to write that post. I'm supportive of you writing it and supportive of acknowledging healthy families , good parents, etc... Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:01:32 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#4664595f-52a9-43e6-860f-ac2858aaa71d Aschleigh 2009-07-23T21:01:32Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#7062a473-bb99-4dda-86ef-087055e44b8f I love humanity as whole. I love women specifically, I love men specifically . Some men I love very specifically. Some men I only love generally. My feelings of love and appriciation are genuine to me, I feel them, I express them. If I saw a post about loving women and thanking us for all that we do, I'd say thanks, I do do a lot. Leslie, we differ on this often. I say men exist and women exist and people in between exist too and I'm cool with that. And I exist as a specific women this time and so forth. I don't feel my individuality suffers becasue I am also part of half ( or so) of the population . I don't find my individuality suffering much these days at all. "men can also be dangerous and hurtful and selfish beyond belief" A generalization that I have also noticed in the world. I was posting about the good stuff though. Maybe this is why good stuff is hard to pass on. I now give props to men who can take a compliment, it is my pleasure to compliment you. Thu, 23 Jul 2009 20:56:00 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#7062a473-bb99-4dda-86ef-087055e44b8f Aschleigh 2009-07-23T20:56:00Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e836fbb0-dc70-4d0b-95ae-a04878e265e6 i've kept out of this thread because personally, i find it disingenuous to say "props to all men for what you do" -- people deserve to be acknowledged for who they are, and for specific things that they have choices about, not the genitalia they were born with. and using michael jackson as an example of manhood was a bit weird, too. men can also be dangerous and hurtful and selfish beyond belief, but all of those are individual cases, not sweeping generalizations. categorizing things by sex is, in my opinion, sort of lazy. and sexist. and naive. so i didn't add my props. there are men i have great appreciation for, and there are women i have great appreciation for, and not one of them is because of their genitals (ok, well, maybe one or two, but that's not exactly what we're talking about here ;^) bottom line, i don't buy the old-school OR the new-age sexist baloney. if you want to acknowledge human beings who do great things, that's awesome. but to lump all men or all women together is just lazy. but now i'm piping up to say that i didn't feel jsin was projecting anger. he was simply saying that he doesn't do what he does in order to impress women. (though jsin, i think that the feel-good payoff of altruistic acts is nothing to run away from, it's pretty much a win-win situation). i wouldn't expect a man to gush with thanks at a compliment like "all men are great" -- there's just not enough substance to that to take personally. and sean, i guess you're new here -- and i guess you thought that a crack about how jsin must be gay was in some way appropriate or intelligent or insulting. unfortunately, it was none of the above, and the remark just made you look immature. i invite you to seriously consider and understand why it landed as badly as it did. and ashleigh, do you really "love men" -- you know, actually love, with the real definition of the word? and do you really mean all men? every one of them, just because.... um... they have a penis? or might you have a fantasy of how especially hard it is to be a man so if they can actually pull off a relationship and a job and a family, they should be patted on the head for it? why not acknowledge **people** who do these things, and stop trying to tie it to what someone has in their pants? i'd be down for acknowledging anyone in this challenging life who can keep it all together and bring up healthy and balanced kids. props to all the good parents out there. that i can get behind. but sweeping generalizations? not so much. if someone posted a "did i tell you how much i love women" thread here or in the aaswa tribe, with these sweeping generalizations, i'd be equally unimpressed. i have no problem with singling out specific groups of people for their contributions, but when you're talking about half the population, who represent a range of personalities from psychopaths to wimps, from progressive thinkers to traditionalists, from nice guys to assholes... well, i really just don't see the point. Thu, 23 Jul 2009 20:34:41 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e836fbb0-dc70-4d0b-95ae-a04878e265e6 leslie 2009-07-23T20:34:41Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#36da8fc0-aabc-40bf-8747-b6348ecb1abb See Ashleigh You are placing anger on me that just plain does not exist... Yes I am blunt, sometimes crass but I do not have the anger you seem to believe I do. We have been through this before on other threads. For me to get angry it implies an emotional investment. With the exception of a few people here on tribe who I do talk to frequently on the phone and in real life, I have no investment. Anger in such a situation would be wasted energy. You are correct that i am bad at taking compliments. makes me think someone is trying to pull one over on me. That is my deal and one that I have worked at getting better at. In general though the reason for the giving of compliments has some sort of motive seen or unseen, seldom are they honest. This makes me wary of those who would freely give them I would like to say i am am sorry i push your buttons, I'm not, it amuses me at times to watch someone spin up or jump at the bait. What can I say I am a bit sadistic. Anger... nope, only time I have been angry with you was your libelous accusation of misogyny. That is over and done with. JSin Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:49:19 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#36da8fc0-aabc-40bf-8747-b6348ecb1abb JSin 2009-07-22T22:49:19Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e1d6034d-849a-484c-825c-73ab0965b52e Jsin I'm not the only one who picks up on your anger. It's defensiveness , even when I am trying to say something nice like :cudoos to you ( men in general and even you Jsin) for doing all the things you do well, it's hard for you to take it and say : thanks I am doing things well . Thanks Sean, but the gay comment was out of line. See why so many men are undateable. I won't deal with that kind of anger nor homophobia. Being single is very good these days. I still love men though. Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:28:00 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e1d6034d-849a-484c-825c-73ab0965b52e Aschleigh 2009-07-22T22:28:00Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e853b75b-1ac4-4f3f-97d3-d7d5ad3b42eb Wow.... attempt at homocentric insult .... FAIL Try again mighty munchkin. You state you do these things asking nothing in return.. I beg to differ. Big reason? I have been there and done that... Did it for years. my reason? MASSIVE insecurity. I felt the only way the girl would like me is if I tried harder to cater to her whims. It fed my sense of security and made me feel alright. Problem is like a drug you have to keep doing it to fill that hollow space within yourself. I don't believe true altruism exists either. I believe it is actually from a position of ego. The only reason you do nice things is because it gives you a payoff in security. I do the right thing, work hard and act as a good person because it is the right thing to do regardless of the payoff. This is not for altruistic reasons. It is because from an ethical standpoint and a sense responsibility to myself that I do the right thing. As to the gay comment... Yeah that who thing went pass'e when i was in High school over 20 years ago. If it makes you feel better I am straight, poly and in a relationship with a wonderful lady who does not care for dependent men. Guys are not my thing. From looking at your pic and the nature of your attempted slight I would guess you are what maybe 25. Don't worry little boy... you will learn. JSin Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:53:27 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e853b75b-1ac4-4f3f-97d3-d7d5ad3b42eb JSin 2009-07-22T13:53:27Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#1251dfdb-8427-459e-a175-5cfe425021b4 Because, clearly, not basing your sense of virtue on a woman's whims is the seminal sign of sexual attraction to other men. ~ Kole, whousedahelluvacoolhomoeroticdescriptortoclownsomechuckthatcantconceiveofastraightmanthatdoesntdeifyhumanswithovaries. Wed, 22 Jul 2009 12:51:37 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#1251dfdb-8427-459e-a175-5cfe425021b4 Kole 2009-07-22T12:51:37Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#08c54209-6a25-4a2a-abb9-03ac134329cb That's exactly why people are gay *rolls eyes*. Stay classy. Wed, 22 Jul 2009 07:17:00 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#08c54209-6a25-4a2a-abb9-03ac134329cb quel qu'un 2009-07-22T07:17:00Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#ebecbad1-3133-40d9-9cec-88bb6580e7a7 thats nice. I was merely trying to give you props for posting this nice thread and I got jumped on by this asshole who has issues like he probably got hurt by some chick that didin't respond to his favors and now he is gay. But, Aschleigh.......have a good one. peace, out Wed, 22 Jul 2009 07:14:29 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#ebecbad1-3133-40d9-9cec-88bb6580e7a7 sean 2009-07-22T07:14:29Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#5c615990-d514-4ea8-9b9a-a19219cbbbdf I find giving is a joy in itself. I do like it to be recognized but it feels good regardless. Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:38:51 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#5c615990-d514-4ea8-9b9a-a19219cbbbdf Aschleigh 2009-07-22T03:38:51Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#ef9a547e-8dea-4931-b034-1d83c4ae7bf3 perhaps you like men better? Now I get it. Tue, 21 Jul 2009 22:47:05 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#ef9a547e-8dea-4931-b034-1d83c4ae7bf3 sean 2009-07-21T22:47:05Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#bca1c555-ff7e-453d-9b3c-349c9046bf43 I guess that a way of looking at it. What ever floats your boat, man........ I do what I do because its like an exchange. I dont really think about myself when I do things. I have nothing to prove to myself. I just love a girl and want to take care of her. Im a provider. Its nice when you you get thanked for it. You sound like a judgemental guy... Sean Tue, 21 Jul 2009 22:43:46 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#bca1c555-ff7e-453d-9b3c-349c9046bf43 sean 2009-07-21T22:43:46Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#c14b6cd9-2116-4f77-a516-79d062ee1315 I don't know for me I find it sad that people in general invest their whole motivations for doing things in trying to impress and please others. If they do not work hard and do the right thing then someone might not love them enough. They never form their own sense of personal responsibility. When the person the are doing all of this for rejects them or leaves them they feel an emptyness that can only be filled by obtaining the next man or woman. I don't have those problems now, I used to. Now if a woman is with me she is with me because she wants to be, I am with a woman because i want to be with her. Not to fill some empty space in my life or to keep me "Motivated" I don't have to buy her love. Whether it be through actions or money. JSin Sat, 18 Jul 2009 12:55:14 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#c14b6cd9-2116-4f77-a516-79d062ee1315 JSin 2009-07-18T12:55:14Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#05d33dd2-2191-43ae-b619-e0ddc12ab7d8 I find it sad. That's my reaction. Sat, 18 Jul 2009 08:11:20 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#05d33dd2-2191-43ae-b619-e0ddc12ab7d8 Aschleigh 2009-07-18T08:11:20Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e852bb98-5926-4331-bceb-9f7301eef0d0 Why is it sad? If he does the right thing who are you to judge his reasons? I think you believe anything that doesn't fit into your small box of what's acceptable (new age hero worship) is sad even when it's really good in reality. The inability to see that is what's really sad, Aschleigh. The willful ignorance is sad because you limit yourself. Sat, 18 Jul 2009 08:09:25 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e852bb98-5926-4331-bceb-9f7301eef0d0 quel qu'un 2009-07-18T08:09:25Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#8b16358e-a11a-49bd-9abf-fbbbc12e4630 Jsin, that's sad. Sat, 18 Jul 2009 06:53:48 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#8b16358e-a11a-49bd-9abf-fbbbc12e4630 Aschleigh 2009-07-18T06:53:48Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#2cddf251-1638-4560-8a64-fe7b25ded867 I don't know about you but i do the right thing because it is the right thing to do. i work hard because of my own integrity... I don't do it to serve some wench. Women do not inspire that. Hey if that is your gig... cool... Not for me I have spent too many years playing that game. I do it for me because it makes me happy to be productive. JSin Sat, 18 Jul 2009 05:43:35 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#2cddf251-1638-4560-8a64-fe7b25ded867 JSin 2009-07-18T05:43:35Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#00045b86-e008-45c0-9257-bad302db904f What would men be with out women? You speak about us being heroes, but we exist as heroes because of a great woman to inspire that courage and drive. You make busting our ass worth it. Without women in my life, my energy would be displaced. Fri, 17 Jul 2009 23:48:35 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#00045b86-e008-45c0-9257-bad302db904f sean 2009-07-17T23:48:35Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#4e818540-8219-425f-a99c-e9193ee8fd92 T. E. It also seems like the best way to keep men doing the things they do, to recognize them. Everyone likes recognition . I talked to these married guys and they are having a hard time often, it's a lot of work. A relationship to uphold and kids to feed and comfort, and a self to keep healthy and sane , etc.. So when I see it or hear of a man who does all that well, why not celebrate him. Lots of men do all that , but lots don't too. And hopefully it comes back on me as a women/wife/mother someday. Mon, 13 Jul 2009 16:43:25 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#4e818540-8219-425f-a99c-e9193ee8fd92 Aschleigh 2009-07-13T16:43:25Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0ee3532c-ab0d-4d01-8611-04111e0a2950 Thank you. It's about time someone recognize us men for the duties we fulfill, the burdens we bear, and the rocky path to the future which we must walk. Sun, 12 Jul 2009 01:26:44 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0ee3532c-ab0d-4d01-8611-04111e0a2950 T.E. Lawrence 2009-07-12T01:26:44Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#33bb328d-e2f9-4551-9a57-f96d9701108b Check the thread tree by clicking, 'unthreaded'. ~ Kole Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:06:06 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#33bb328d-e2f9-4551-9a57-f96d9701108b Kole 2009-07-11T16:06:06Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#f45ddd6e-3254-4b3f-8c1f-e23bbb7d2f65 This morning I had the carpets cleaned. I get the bills paid, on time. We always take my car, it's the most comfy. I always carry plenty of cash. I keep the driveway and sidewalk clean. I do the tree work. I get ALL the garbage out, and make sure the recycling is sorted properly. I say yes. I bring extra: warm clothes, flashlights, water. I fix her car. I listen. I water the orchids, prune the roses, mow the lawn and clean up after. I buy the tickets, and the beer, and carry stuff. I do the big Costco runs. I check on my friends. I throw a party now and then. Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:57:04 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#f45ddd6e-3254-4b3f-8c1f-e23bbb7d2f65 Bobby Love 2009-07-09T09:57:04Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0f592cbb-ca43-4bc7-84d8-da531362e435 I cleaned and organized my house until 3 a.m. this morning. ;-) Wed, 08 Jul 2009 23:32:39 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0f592cbb-ca43-4bc7-84d8-da531362e435 The Craw 2009-07-08T23:32:39Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#ee563248-5dd8-447f-85e7-5800b294a199 You know there is a way that men take credit for everything and yet don't take enough credit for things. Here is a place to toot your own horn about the really good stuff you do as men. Men hold families together, they create great art. What did you do today as a man that made your women's life easier? Maybe she didn't even notice. What did you do to make sure you were healthy and happy and clear for those you love? What did you do to make sure your kids knew you loved them? Let's recognize the great things that ( some) men are doing. Tue, 07 Jul 2009 17:49:05 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#ee563248-5dd8-447f-85e7-5800b294a199 Aschleigh 2009-07-07T17:49:05Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#595f84d7-a048-4d8d-ae6c-24ef987ba22a If you're referring to me, I don't think you got the point. I don't know if it's even possible to homogenize anything cross-culturally. I'm not bereaved I just have a genuine interest in why people behave the way they do: action and reaction. Sun, 05 Jul 2009 21:02:35 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#595f84d7-a048-4d8d-ae6c-24ef987ba22a quel qu'un 2009-07-05T21:02:35Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#bbaaf185-ef01-4812-870d-6b5d435e3315 Good, albeit entirely unsuccessful, attempt at cross-culturally homogenizing a particular social stigma. ;) You may be able to get over him.. though that may take some time. ~ Kole Sun, 05 Jul 2009 12:20:42 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#bbaaf185-ef01-4812-870d-6b5d435e3315 Kole 2009-07-05T12:20:42Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#c78cb87f-6910-4876-8daa-467433844f3f "No "weird" is weird no matter where you are. In LA you get desensitized to weirdness. " Now, that is absolutely untrue. What is against the norm depends on what the norm is and has to be put in a cultural context. Your assertions seem typical of the human desire to assign things into 2 categories when reality is quite different. Of all the people 'blaming' MJ's life on his parents, I never heard him as one of them. It's common knowledge that people react differently to things. I learned some time ago that expecting everyone to react and deal with things the way i do only leads to disappointment. Making assumptions about what people can and can't do is claiming to know far more about humanity and the individual than is possible. I heard a saying once: There are two types of people in this world. This who put people into two categories and those who don't. Here's an eloquent take on MJ by the late James Baldwin from his essay "Here Be Dragons" "The Michael Jackson cacophony is fascinating in that it is not about Jackson at all. I hope he has the good sense to know it and the good fortune to snatch his life out of the jaws of a carnivorous success. He will not swiftly be forgiven for having turned so many tables, for he damn sure grabbed the brass ring, and the man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo has nothing on Michael. All that noise is about America, as the dishonest custodian of black life and wealth; the blacks, especially males, in America; and the burning, buried American guilt; and sex and sexual roles and sexual panic; money, success and despair–to all of which may now be added the bitter need to find a head on which to place the crown of Miss America. Freaks are called freaks and are treated as they are treated–in the main, abominably–because they are human beings who cause to echo, deep within us, our most profound terrors and desires." Wed, 01 Jul 2009 18:17:03 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#c78cb87f-6910-4876-8daa-467433844f3f quel qu'un 2009-07-01T18:17:03Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e6ed7b95-3f48-4f15-9b96-3d054f13fc2c No "weird" is weird no matter where you are. In LA you get desensitized to weirdness. I have experienced the abuse,as well as been into the drugs. Once again, everyone is responsible for their own life and their actions. Blaming things on Mommy and Daddy doesn't work past about 20 years old or so. Life is a journey not a destination. I am sure you have heard that expression, you can't get to a point and stop maturing. Dylan said "he not busy being born is busy dying." Life flows like a river, unless you choose to stgnate. EAGLES LYRICS "Get Over It" I turn on the tube and what do I see A whole lotta people cryin' "Don't blame me" They point their crooked little fingers at everybody else Spend all their time feelin' sorry for themselves Victim of this, victim of that Your momma's too thin; your daddy's too fat Get over it Get over it All this whinin' and cryin' and pitchin' a fit Get over it, get over it You say you haven't been the same since you had your little crash But you might feel better if I gave you some cash The more I think about it, Old Billy was right Let's kill all the lawyers, kill 'em tonight You don't want to work, you want to live like a king But the big, bad world doesn't owe you a thing Get over it Get over it If you don't want to play, then you might as well split Get over it, Get over it It's like going to confession every time I hear you speak You're makin' the most of your losin' streak Some call it sick, but I call it weak You drag it around like a ball and chain You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown Got your mind in the gutter, bringin' everybody down Complain about the present and blame it on the past I'd like to find your inner child and kick its little ass Get over it Get over it All this bitchin' and moanin' and pitchin' a fit Get over it, get over it Get over it Get over it It's gotta stop sometime, so why don't you quit Get over it, get over it Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:00:34 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e6ed7b95-3f48-4f15-9b96-3d054f13fc2c Sparky 2009-07-01T16:00:34Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0bcab8e9-12e2-4598-8d4f-ec4517387c81 I do see what sparky is saying though. There is a way that as adults we are responsible for our behavior. As a therapist to be I hope no one is so far gone that there is no hope for repair. But it's possible. I am glad however that I have had a mom ( much to my frustration ) who said no a lot. And saying no to a partner or kid is way more loving than indulging everything. MJ was weird but from a pretty predictable place. People stop growing emotionally for all sorts of reasons , like abuse or drug use. He had both. What's really weird is that I'm totally used to it in LA, it's so common to see and meet people who are mentally, emotionally 10ish and they are well into adulthood. Wed, 01 Jul 2009 02:06:42 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#0bcab8e9-12e2-4598-8d4f-ec4517387c81 Aschleigh 2009-07-01T02:06:42Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#dc204eb2-83a8-42e9-8960-69ce690c43e3 I actually have to side with Aschleigh on this one. I think it's presumptuous to assign a particular characterization on MJ. Maybe in Texas, he's totally weird, but not in LA, NY or San Francisco, I would bet. Also, from what I have read, he was mentally regressed therefore could not behave like a normal adult and it's impossible, in an environment where people enable and reinforce because of your wealth, to feel as if you may be mentally unhealthy. The more I dig into this, the less I think he was a molestor. he thought of himself as a child, therefore his actions wouldn't be inappropriate i.e. bunking together. But, I cannot say anything for sure. Having said that, he was still a man. An unusual one, but a man, having a man's experience. In the same way that one's behavior doesn't negate race, he may have been outside the cultural norm but nonetheless a man. Back on topic... I love man smell! ... and man body parts! I am even liking the wild hairs that pop up out of nowhere in their 30's! Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:55:37 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#dc204eb2-83a8-42e9-8960-69ce690c43e3 quel qu'un 2009-06-30T22:55:37Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e8369587-28a2-4610-ac8e-5dd6bfea6d44 Believe me Darlin I know about abuse, from the receiving end. We all are responsible for our lives and for our actions. That is one of the qualities that make a male a man, rather than a grown boy. Tue, 30 Jun 2009 21:21:08 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e8369587-28a2-4610-ac8e-5dd6bfea6d44 Sparky 2009-06-30T21:21:08Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#5177b5e2-2c1f-4908-980d-f5e457ff0084 Most people who suffer from terrible childhood abuse have some kind of problems later in life. Not always molesting others ofcourse. I think he deserve sympathy. He also was so talented and supporting a huge family with no one to say no to his wildest desires. Fame is a really interesting study for psychologists. It will bring out a lot of the underlying insanity that people already have, and with a lack of core self often they seem doomed. Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:49:44 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#5177b5e2-2c1f-4908-980d-f5e457ff0084 Aschleigh 2009-06-30T01:49:44Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#37b52465-a766-4327-8bad-8c3f84244ead Tell me tell me, please. but lets leave MJ out of the conversation, please. In Texas there is a saying about people like MJ. "The boy just ain't right." I have thought that for many years, prior to him being accused of molestation and admitting to sleeping with children. The boy just ain't right. Mon, 29 Jun 2009 21:18:20 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#37b52465-a766-4327-8bad-8c3f84244ead Sparky 2009-06-29T21:18:20Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e51e6de5-335a-42b0-bf31-1697af3291ef that you for thanking me. I'm all about increasing the good these days. Good men do a lot for the world. It's much easier to see when Barack is talking to all sorts of people ( lots of them men). And Micheal Beckwith ( from the Agape spiritual Center) was on fire yesterday at Agape. And My therapist. And my nephew, all good men ( and men to be, my nephew is 13, quite the little man these days) . So much easier to love men without a sociopath at the helm of our country. So much easier to love men when I feel good about myself . Mon, 29 Jun 2009 17:47:00 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#e51e6de5-335a-42b0-bf31-1697af3291ef Aschleigh 2009-06-29T17:47:00Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#28f7d272-5924-4246-9447-d508bf72938e Thank you Aschleigh , that feels great. Mon, 29 Jun 2009 06:29:02 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#28f7d272-5924-4246-9447-d508bf72938e Bobby Love 2009-06-29T06:29:02Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#05023fd4-f77a-4c97-bd7b-2e82ec590698 Oohrah. ~ Kole Mon, 29 Jun 2009 02:06:22 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#05023fd4-f77a-4c97-bd7b-2e82ec590698 Kole 2009-06-29T02:06:22Z http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#12d3ede5-ee69-43cc-bf5a-d8eb5bb42ef2 Men, they ( you) are great. Micheal Jackson died and he was a man, so full of talent and energy , so traumatized by his childhood. Men are going through some really interesting things in their evolution. ( so are women) . I am reminded by every guy I date that men have some of the tenderest hearts and the greatest skin on the planet. And those minds. and Bodies. So here's to men. It's looks tough. It's looks fun. It looks like flux is affecting us all. Let's talk about how awesome men are ( especially the hot , conscious ones for me) . And the challenges faces men today. Men as fathers, men as CEO's, men as sons, men as artists, men as warriers, men as lovers,men as spiritual beings. Let's celebrate all that men are today. ( maybe a little of the celebrating will splash back on women too) Fri, 26 Jun 2009 21:12:54 GMT http://askasexymananything.tribe.net/thread/71732a73-d679-4226-9d5c-9ca0b9d2e4cf#12d3ede5-ee69-43cc-bf5a-d8eb5bb42ef2 Aschleigh 2009-06-26T21:12:54Z