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Why do men make out with skanky women?

topic posted Wed, June 16, 2010 - 12:10 PM by  Lynn
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This has me curious...... I've been corresponding with some guy on a dating site. He keeps telling me about these "bad" dates that he's had where these women are throwing themselves at him. He has said the dates have gone very far in some cases that made him wonder "how many other guys they'd been with." He told me the other night of a 1st date where the woman "would not stop kissing him" and was "humping his leg like a dog." Followed by......"it was disgusting." So my thought was......if this skanky girl is grossing you out......why are you participating? He said even thought he didn't verbally say no, his actions did. How is that possible? It takes 2 to kiss. I don't think politeness should go into the realm of doing something you don't want to. So, guys.....I know guys can be into "no strings sex" but why make out with someone and then proclaim that it was disgusting?????
posted by:
Lynn
Albany
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  • that's bizarre!
    • Unsu...
       
      Its quite simple really :

      His stories are designed to give you the impression that he meets women and they find him so sexually attractive that they come on strong and sexual with him right away. Perhaps with the purpose of piquing your sexual interest in him. Then he gives the disclaimer saying that he finds them disgusting so you can also get the impression that his standards are high, and he is not a slut himself. He is also trying to make you think that he feels you are different and special compared to the skanks he has gotten lucky with ( or says he has) in the past.

      He wants to appeal to you as the ideal Mr. Goodbar that is not looking for just sex, but wants a real relationship. If that is the fellow's true intentions, why tell you about how many women wanted to screw him and have?
  • With all things there is the grey factor. Nothing is truly black or white.
    In my free days, I partook in "free" sex on a very regular basis. The one thing I noticed along with little things like if you're coming down with a cold, one of the first symptoms that appears three days before the sniffles, is a massive drop in libido. Really embarrassing the first time, notable the second and the third time I just told the lady that she had to bulk up on her vitamin B & C.
    Prior to the glut, if I may use that term without prejudice, my child/man mind was very much into boasting my prowess with the ladies, then one day I found that I had to really think of how many women I'd been with that year. The other thing I realised was that I'd pretty much stopped talking. I had read ..... Pease's book 'Body Language' I know I forgot his first name and of course, it's one of the many books I've lent to people over the years and promptly forgot who I lent it to, but it is a time when the verbal language is pretty much redundant and the less said, the better.
    The first question that would spring to my mind with a person who speaks so highly of his lack of control in the sex department is "How long has it been since you've been to the VD clinic and when will the course of antibiotics be finished?"
    The second question would be where is the nearest scuba diving centre.
    • Gerard.....you just cracked me up!!! LOL Seriously, that was what I was thinking. Forget about sex, I would have to even think seriously about even kissing this guy after he's admitted to making out with all these trashy women. Eeewwww!!!!! The fact that he is willing to take anything that is offered by anyone makes me think that he is just as desperate as they are.
      • Unsu...
         
        Your post is intriguing. Do you often meet guys like him and notice a pattern, or are you you just curious about this one man that you are talking to? Is he on your mind alot?
        • To optimus......I have never even met this man in person and, no, I don't think about him at all. I have never heard of a man that admitted to being sexually promiscuous and then state that he found the women disgusting in the same breath. It'd be one thing if he was actually attracted to them and just thought they were "easy" (and therefore "disgusting") but to state that during the act he was disgusted is completely bizarre!
  • Disgust with the 'trashiness' of the behavior doesn't require a negation of the sensory enjoyment of it.
    Both can and do occur quite simultaneously; how you react to it isn't necessarily predetermined or
    predictable.

    It's quite easy to be caught in these quandaries, and to therefore 'tolerate' the behavior via an indifferent
    response. The lingering 'mental' effect of it is often what lasts, that being likely why he mentioned that
    instead.

    ~ Kole
  • Some men do not turn down pussy that's being waved in front of their nose unless there's a really compelling reason, like open sores or potential jail time. Usually, they either put it out of their mind afterward and never speak of it again or they don't care what anyone thinks enough to keep it a secret.

    What he did is not as weird as the fact that he said something about it in that way. I consider it an issue of poor judgment. Hey, you can keep a jar of toenail under your bed. I'm only going to be concerned if I either find it or especially if you mention it, like it's not crazy. There's something to be aid for the judgment of someone who knows what they're doing is off.
  • Some guys chase skanky women because they are looking to "add some danger into their lives"; they seek out women who are the complete polar opposite of their usual type. The idea of deliberately hooking up with someone who uses a lot of expletives, or rides a Harley, or has a thing for leather is a thrill-ride to these guys.

    Probably he's not had any luck with decent women, so he's looking for mate on the wrong side of the tracks; everything else has failed, so he's lowering his expectations.

    Frankly, Lynn, if this guy's kissing and telling, he doesn't sound like promising material himself.
    • To T.E. Definately agree about the "little potential" comment. We haven't actually met so maybe he is just a dumbass!!! I couldn't help but wonder how he thought telling a potential date that bit would be a good thing. Why would I even want to kiss a man that admitted that was their recent behavior? Not even long enough for the sores to show up yet!!! LOL Someone suggested perhaps it was supposed to imply that women can't resist him but as soon as I meet him I would know whether that was BS or not. Oh well........interesting topic anyway.
  • Charity kiss/fuck?
    Happens on both sides of the gender fence. Whatta' guy.

    Variety?
    I kinda' like trying out new lips to kiss and bodies to, ummm, yep.

    He's a skank too?
    Talk is cheap. Actions speak louder than words and is actions speak volumes.

    That's about $.02 worth. Later.
  • Unsu...
     
    NEVER have, NEVER will. maybe some men like that shit but its not my thing
    • A question then;
      The difference between "skanky" and "slutty"?
      • My understanding of the term Slutt is one who is filthy and unkept, although it has become common use to rrefer to women who have little regard for their own health or reputation. The other is a new term for me, but that in itself is nothing new as there are many terms of endearment toward this level of womanhood, Slutt, slag, Mole, Ho.
        Interesting that the number of names used to denegrade men are a lot fewer, but not too difficult to understand why. After all, while women have no problem with multitasking, men usually have problems keeping their minds on one thing at a time.
      • Eh. It's one of those words that'll always have a negative connotation if used by a non-slut to reference a slut, just like nigger and bitch. Word reclamation is wonderful in theory, but in practice just creates more conversational double-standard hurdles to leap.

        ~ Kole
  • The modern connotation of slutty had nothing to do with being dirty in the unkempt sense. It is generally, someone who likes to have sex and makes no bones about it e.g. Samantha from Sex and the City. These people have control over their lives and how sex is incorporated into it.

    A skank is someone who uses sex with an ulterior motive i.e. daddy didn't love her, she wants your money, generally has no self-respect.

    Mature vs. immature. The commonality is the availability for sex.
  • Lynn, that guy's posts would be a red flag for me. He sounds conflicted about women & their sexuality, maybe his own. After all, he is both attracted to & repelled by these women he considers "disgusting", & yet before you've even met, he feels he has to tell you about this. Maybe he's testing you? Because if he has the madonna-whore divide going on as strongly as I suspect he does, maybe he wants to know what slot you might fit into.

    I don't know about you, but I don't like being grouped into a slot. And while I believe having standards & ethics is important, I prefer to avoid really sex-negative, judgmental people. And men who still carry around that old double standard- forget it. Who needs that crap? Besides, people like that are the least likely to practice safe sex, or be truly honest once a relationship gets underway. If he puts you in the "good girl" slot, he may well cheat on you w/ those so-called "skanks" he finds so exciting. If he decides you're a skank, he won't respect you.

    He may well work out the conflict at some point. But for now, I'd tread carefully, & use common sense. Do NOT meet this guy anywhere alone until you really have a chance to suss him out in a public venue- more than once. Because he may be carrying a lot of anger. He may be OK, but just based on what you've shared, I'm a little creeped out.
  • Lynn, that guy's posts would be a red flag for me. He sounds conflicted about women & their sexuality, maybe his own. After all, he is both attracted to & repelled by these women he considers "disgusting", & yet before you've even met, he feels he has to tell you about this. Maybe he's testing you? Because if he has the madonna-whore divide going on as strongly as I suspect he does, maybe he wants to know what slot you might fit into. Maybe he's had an extremely sex negative upbringing, is an abuse survivor, or is just very young & scared... maybe he's just creepy... the fact is, you simply don't know.

    I don't know about you, but I don't like being grouped into a slot. And while I believe having standards & ethics is important, I prefer to avoid really sex-negative, judgmental people. And men who still carry around that old double standard- forget it. Who needs that crap? Besides, people like that are the least likely to practice safe sex, or be truly honest once a relationship gets underway. If he puts you in the "good girl" slot, he may well cheat on you w/ those so-called "skanks" he finds so exciting. If he decides you're a skank, he won't respect you. It's a lose-lose situation.

    He may well work out the conflict at some point. But for now, I'd tread carefully, & use common sense. If you really want to meet him anyway, I strongly advise NOT meeting up w/ this guy anywhere alone, until you really have a chance to suss him out in a public venue- more than once. Maybe bring a friend along. Because he may be carrying a lot of anger. He may be OK, but just based on what you've shared, I'm a kinda creeped out.
    • Oops- I see Tribe is still temperamental- the first post didn't disappear after I edited & added a few lines to the second. Sorry, y'all. Moderator, feel free to delete the 1st.
      • I've seen this topic for awhile, but it just occurred it's probably the gender opposite of: Why do women date bastards?

        And there are probably lots of answers from the biological, to the social to the simple. The important point is we're not using the word 'all', and also the question is not asking 'Why do men marry skanky women?' That divide between making out, dating and marrying is probably an answer, too.
  • Unsu...
     

    "Why do men make out with skanky women?"

    Because they can?

    But seriously, this guy has a big problem if he thinks he is better than the woman he is making out with on the basis of her participating in the same activity that he is.

    And what's wrong with making-out on a first date? Have we just slipped through a time-warp to the 1950s?

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