(Edited cross-post)
So, I've been out of the "dating loop" for a bit now. That includes sex and dating for over a year.
And now I'm turning into the whore of Babalon...........
In the course of 4 days I have attracted two guys.
And both of them were very, um, blow-jobcentric.
The second one basically said no sex without a BJ first. He was kicked out :)
I don't know when this happened, but it seems that blow-jobs are the new foreplay. And they readily admit that they have no interest in reciprocating! WTF? NOT cool!
(Tis next section may be offensive to some guys, but it's truth to me and needs to be said) And I realized that I have some sort of small penis magnet in my pants.............I can honestly say I've never been with a guy over 6in. Some made up for it in girth, but not many. I've also seen some amazingly small guys. I'm not a size-queen, and I will always do my best to work around these situations, but I would like to know what something larger is like. And frankly, 3in is just not enough. It may be the motion in the ocean, but you can't row a boat that won't stay in the water :) And it helps to be aware of your....limitations....and be willing to make the nessessary adjustments.......I've met too many guys that were not willing to, and that just makes me mad. They just plowed along and didn't get why I wasn't super excited.
And another thing! Yes, I'm ranting..........What is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex? Just because you have now located the clit and have a general knowledge of how it works, doesn't mean it's an on/off switch. I don't have sex like a man. I miss the good old days when just the sex was enough. It's to much pressure to be *expected* to cum. I still enjoyed it, isn't that enough? When did this happen? I noticed it years ago, but it still doesn't make sense.
So, back to the original plan of actually saving myself for someone that I care about!
They were just silly mistakes, mistakes we all make from time to time, but I've been beating myself up about them. I guess I just needed a reminder of what I actually need. I forgot why I actually enjoyed not having sex.
So it's not really a question, just some stuff that I needed to get off my somewhat bruised chest...........
So, I've been out of the "dating loop" for a bit now. That includes sex and dating for over a year.
And now I'm turning into the whore of Babalon...........
In the course of 4 days I have attracted two guys.
And both of them were very, um, blow-jobcentric.
The second one basically said no sex without a BJ first. He was kicked out :)
I don't know when this happened, but it seems that blow-jobs are the new foreplay. And they readily admit that they have no interest in reciprocating! WTF? NOT cool!
(Tis next section may be offensive to some guys, but it's truth to me and needs to be said) And I realized that I have some sort of small penis magnet in my pants.............I can honestly say I've never been with a guy over 6in. Some made up for it in girth, but not many. I've also seen some amazingly small guys. I'm not a size-queen, and I will always do my best to work around these situations, but I would like to know what something larger is like. And frankly, 3in is just not enough. It may be the motion in the ocean, but you can't row a boat that won't stay in the water :) And it helps to be aware of your....limitations....and be willing to make the nessessary adjustments.......I've met too many guys that were not willing to, and that just makes me mad. They just plowed along and didn't get why I wasn't super excited.
And another thing! Yes, I'm ranting..........What is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex? Just because you have now located the clit and have a general knowledge of how it works, doesn't mean it's an on/off switch. I don't have sex like a man. I miss the good old days when just the sex was enough. It's to much pressure to be *expected* to cum. I still enjoyed it, isn't that enough? When did this happen? I noticed it years ago, but it still doesn't make sense.
So, back to the original plan of actually saving myself for someone that I care about!
They were just silly mistakes, mistakes we all make from time to time, but I've been beating myself up about them. I guess I just needed a reminder of what I actually need. I forgot why I actually enjoyed not having sex.
So it's not really a question, just some stuff that I needed to get off my somewhat bruised chest...........
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Missouri
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Re: Strange male behavior
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 12:31 PMIf you choose to be with a man, then he had best act like a man…
To Me that means making certain the gift you are giving him is returned 3 fold…
Before he gets his you get yours… spell that out to him and see if he is Man enough.
At least one before his, and mayhap much more…
I have found that when I treat my lover with the proper respect the gift of her Body is a near spiritual thing…
Ok I’ll get off my soap box now…
(No Pun intended)
David
The Dark Knight -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 1:19 PMSeriously, a guy who wants to get blown but won't reciprocate can't be gotten rid of fast enough. No question about it, beat it! WTF? That's the most retarded thing I've heard.
As far as orgasms are concerned, I do expect that my lover has one. That's because I'm willing to put in the effort, and that usually means oral and manual foreplay, listening and asking about what is working, not just slapping the junk in the hole and hoping that somehow that'll make it happen. Geez, where are you finding these clowns? -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 12:49 AM>>As far as orgasms are concerned, I do expect that my lover has one. That's because I'm willing to put in the effort...
If there is a respectful way to say that this is B.S., then let it be said.
As a post below on this thread indicates, our bodies don't work that way.
Oftentimes, whether or not we have an orgasm has NOTHING to do with you. Or with your skill, effort OR how we feel about you.
And sex can be very pleasurable even without any orgasms.
It's a process, NOT a goal.
....mind you, I have more orgasms than your average woman. during intercourse & otherwise. and still I will stand by this.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 8:17 AMUncle Sticky, I respect you, but I hate running into lovers like you almost as much as I hate running into ignorant asshats who don't know what a clitoris IS. Some days it isn't going to happen, and I'm left lying there for an hour while some guy furiously licks between my legs because his pride WILL NOT let him stop until I cum. I have several times ended up faking it just to get him to leave me the hell alone. It stops being fun after a while and becomes annoying, especially when it's guys who insist they are "man enough" to get me there and won't let vibes in bed. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Sat, June 28, 2008 - 4:07 PMUncle Sticky, I respect you, but I hate running into lovers like you almost as much as I hate running into ignorant asshats who don't know what a clitoris IS.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Not to be contrary, but....while l agree with you on almost all counts, l just want to point out that Uncle Sticky is clearly the kind of man that is willing to put in the time. Expecting an orgasm may not always be realistic, but at least he's willing to do the work to get there, unlike the men mentioned in the OP. l personally wouldn't complain if a man wanted to spend an hour between my legs regardless of his reasons for being there, but l know what you're saying.
With all due respect, l just thought the statement l quoted was a little harsh. Not because your thoughts aren't valid, but if we tell men that they don't do enough to bring us to orgasm (the Rolling Over and Passing Out before We're Done syndrome), then we tell them that their efforts aren't enough, l wonder what they're expected to think or do. lt's one thing to say, "Hey, just so you know, we're not always going to cum, but it really ISN'T you", and another to tell them that their desire to see us have an orgasm and the work they're willing to put into it somehow makes them lousy lovers. lf l have to fake it because they've been going too long and l know l'm not going to cum, that's preferable to not cumming specifically because they weren't willing to try.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Mon, June 30, 2008 - 12:03 PMI'm not saying his efforts aren't enough, and I'm not saying he isn't the kind of gent who's willing to put in the time, I'm saying some days it isn't going to happen and around hour two I start to get less than patient with a man's insistence that I cum to pacify his ego. It ruins the sex for me just as much as if they roll over as soon as they're done. Most days I love a little extra attention, but if I say I'm done and he insists on continuing until I cum, I get damned cranky. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 4:42 PMLOL!!
l think l get what you're saying; l guess my experience in that area is limited. l've had moments where l was done and he wasn't and so l had to lay down a time limit. That certainly didn't always feel good. But l don't think l've ever been with a man so insistent on making me cum that it supersedes my request to stop, well, that's just a little...weird. l honestly don't know how l'd react in such a situation, especially if it was previously discussed that l just wasn't going to have one. That doesn't feel like just a willing man to me; it feels like a form of self-validating control. ls that your experience? My apologies if l offend. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 7:42 PM"But l don't think l've ever been with a man so insistent on making me cum that it supersedes my request to stop, well, that's just a little...weird."
Just like with everything else...no means no at ANY point.
Betcha -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 10:21 PMJust like with everything else...no means no at ANY point.
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lndeed. And once l've broken out one of these: www.youtube.com/watch you'd better get on it. Then again, like l said, it just doesn't happen to me.
There are times with a close lover, though, where l'm more than happy to accommodate him; he's not multi-orgasmic unless he got hit by the lucky train. And as a multi orgasmic and sexually enthusiastic being, l usually expect to outlast him - or at least have the capacity to. So if I'M worn out, it probably means he's been going for my orgasm so long that he's been flaccid for a WHILE or it's obvious neither of us is cumming by that point. l've had probably three or four times in my life that l have ever noticeably tired of the sex unless l had something physical or emotional going on that prevented me from enjoying it. Maybe my libido is just outta control.
About that last bit...l've mentioned that to a couple of men who, upon hearing it, got this look in their eye and this "Oh, l could wear you out, baby", but not in a sexy way, you know? l can't describe it as anything but intuitive, but you just KNOW right then and there that this is not going to be a night of fun and play for him, but of conquest and bragging rights (and "She came ten times!" isn't necessarily significant given the woman). Biggest turn-off EVER. l got this a lot back in my late twenties when l'd reveal that l'd never had an orgasm. l stopped sharing that after a little bit, and the sex improved dramatically. Or at least the misdirected motivation was gone, so we were free to enjoy ourselves. l think for any man, the idea of giving a woman her first orgasm would change the nature of his approach, even subtly.
l have run into men that l guess weren't aware that women's orgasms vary in intensity and length, and when they asked if l came and l said, "Yeah, couple small ones", this was received in precisely the same way as it would be if l'd said that l hadn't had any. When you have to constantly reassure someone that you not only came but that 'small' doesn't necessarily mean 'not powerful', it turns into a chore. But l occasionally wonder what percentage of this is a man's ego, and what is simply a lack of real conversation and education on female sexuality and orgasm. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 10:35 PMHmm. Seems the link didn't work. Let's try this. www.youtube.com/watch
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, July 4, 2008 - 7:01 AM>Just like with everything else...no means no at ANY point.
Or it means 'read my mind', which, for my purposes has always meant 'no'.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Sat, July 5, 2008 - 8:36 AM"Oh, l could wear you out, baby"
Oh man do I know that one. As a woman who sort of doesn't wear out (I recently spent an AMAZING week with a man 20 years my junior who apparently has no refractory time. That was . . . intense. I couldn't possibly even count the number of times I came each day, but I'd say it was 7 or 8 a day for him on the good days), I don't really offer up that info unless someone makes a statement that really annoys me. Along the lines of, "Women just don't enjoy sex as much as men," or something. And then they get this really icky attitude that, yeah, has to do with being the one to "best" me or something. Dude, I can come ten times in a few minutes and while you're in the shower I'll be masturbating to porn on my iPhone. (True story. I can't recall why I didn't hop in th shower with him, I think I knew we were just going to get filthy again and didn't feel like it. He came out of the bathroom with a hard-on and a big grin . . . apparently I'm not a quiet masturbator . . .)
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, July 3, 2008 - 10:53 PMSelf-validating control? A little bit, yes. It was an ego thing. If I insisted on stopping and he hadn't "made" me cum then he'd pout and mope for days. Ick. That didn't last long. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 6:18 PM"Self-validating control? A little bit, yes. It was an ego thing. If I insisted on stopping and he hadn't "made" me cum then he'd pout and mope for days. Ick. That didn't last long."
Well, that doesn't surprise me in the slightest. l don't think l'd be playing that game either once l realized it had nothing to do with me. Not that l'm the end all, be all or some shit. But you know. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 8:42 PM"Not that l'm the end all, be all or some shit. But you know. "
... No, I don't. But if the next vacation takes me, I might get the gist.
Pioneer Square, pull out the reinforcements!
~ Kole -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Tue, July 8, 2008 - 9:45 PMAh, Kole, ever the optimist.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, July 10, 2008 - 12:44 PM... No, I don't. But if the next vacation takes me, I might get the gist.
Pioneer Square, pull out the reinforcements!
~~~~~~~~~~~
Hehe.
No reinforcements needed.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, July 10, 2008 - 10:13 AMPersonally I don't believe I can make a woman cum. I like to think of it more like I help her have an orgasm.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 9:46 PM<<As far as orgasms are concerned, I do expect that my lover has one. That's because I'm willing to put in the effort, and that usually means oral and manual foreplay, listening and asking about what is working, not just slapping the junk in the hole and hoping that somehow that'll make it happen>> i totally agree Uncle Sticky, especially the last part. An orgasm is not something that just happens if you pound away long enough, it is something that is arrived at once i am feeling aroused.
And as a woman i will stand up and say that, yes, i do expect to have an orgasm every time, as a matter of fact i expect to have many of them throughout the evening - oral, digital, clitoral, vaginal and everything in between. in the past sometimes i had difficulty 'getting there' but i have learned that it wasn't me, it was the lack of foreplay and attention to what was working, and in some cases what wasn't. Finding a Lover who provides just the right amount of stimulation in the right combinations has made me a multi-orgasmic woman and i love it! -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 1:04 AMI suppose the key is to LISTEN to your lover.
If she says she ain't gonna come and it's fine--then leave it be. It's fine.
If she says she wants one (or more), then by all means, do what you can to get her there.
in either case, it ain't about the man. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 1:06 AMI should have said, it ain't about the giver, it's about the recipient.
sometimes the guy I'm with doesn't come, but I do.
so long as everyone's happy.
just....listen. be responsive to your lover. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 1:40 AMBingo
That's usually the answer to most any relationship issue. Listen, and if you can't or won't give what they want then decide if it's important enough that you need to part ways.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Sat, July 12, 2008 - 11:30 AMVeganskater hit the nail on the head, it is about communication.
Do I like my partners to enjoy themselves, of course, does that mean orgasm, sometimes. I have partners who cum multiple times from oral, fingers and fucking. I have a partner who cums only at her own hand and not consistently at that. Everyone is different.
As for the BJ, never ask for or expect something you arent wiling to reciporcate for. I cant imagine a guy not willing to go down on a girl, I would have to say toss anyone who was like that.
As for penis size, 3" ouch, Im sorry for you and him, dont blame you for tossing the small fish back. There are definitely bigger guys than 6" out there, I think quite a few of them though i havent done the research personally but from what I have heard from partners it seems to be true, though there are a lot of large guys who think having a big cock is all it takes, no foreplay or skill necessary, then there are some who are big, have skills and actually enjoy using them - hold out till you meet one of us.
Good luck in your search and try to lose that mini cock magnet ;)
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Re: Strange male behavior
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 2:02 PMIt's very easy to attract jerks, unfortunately; you don't even have to be trying to attract anything, and jerks will still hit on you. The guys you are ranting about are jerks, mostly. The blow job first guys are just plain jerks (and the best thing for a jerk to do, sexually, is to jerk off). Guys can't help the size thing, of course, but they can be willing to make adjustments or even to be blown off because of the size issue; it does make a difference sometimes, and sometimes a guy just has to find someone who fits better. So guys who won't make an effort are jerks, too. The last bit, about the coming expectations, is not necessarily so much a jerk thing as an education/experience/understanding thing. It's real easy for (most) guys to come most of the time, and they sometimes forget that women are not just men with cunts (and tits, of course). There's a bit of ego wrapped up there, too, which makes it hard to deal with. All you can do is explain that A: no, you don't come every time, B: yes, you still enjoyed it and C: it's kind of crass to ask, assuming that you have worked at giving as well as receiving and been receptive to your partner's likes and dislikes. The worthwhile guys will understand (given a little patience), the jerks won't.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 3:17 PMi dunno. i'll usually go down first, but i just looooooooooooove eating pussy.
yes, i prefer that women i'm with reciprocate, but if they're not into it i won't throw a bitch-fit. there're other ways.
as for expecting them to cum, well, call me insecure or egotistic or what-have-you, but, yes, i want the woman i'm with to cum. i don't expect it exactly, but i want them to. when they haven't, the whole 'i don't cum every time but i still enjoyed it' thing has been explained to me, but i have to admit i have had a hard time accepting that. when i've been able to accept it i was ok w/it, but, for example, my first time w/someone? yeah, it's made me feel on occasion like i half-assed a job or something. i know that sounds kinda jackass-y, but i think you understand what i mean. i want someone i'm with to enjoy themselves. & i'll admit that it's at least partly because i want them to want to be with me again. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 3:29 PMBut this is exactly my point. Cumming, for a lot of women I know, is not the be-all of the encounter.
It's just the way our bodies work.
I've been in relationships where there was A TON of great sex and I never "came". Didn't stop me from coming back for more :) It's just how I'm wired!
And the pressure to cum, either from the guys obvious disappointment or when they just keep trying when it's not going to happen, leads lots of ladies, myself included, to fake it. Would you rather have a fake O or the knowledge that I had a great time but didn't cum? -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Wed, June 25, 2008 - 8:43 PM#1.. I like for women to cum A) All the time and B) Many times
#2...What douchebags don't believe in reciprocating, or...beginning with foreplay themselves?!?...Dumbasses.
#3...There are men in Missouri that have larger than 6 inches. Ask my friends who have sen my album, lol.
#4 However....I am happily attached.
#5 If you are basing your exploring on the dipshits you have encountered...big mistake. You have a "bad feeler" going, that you need to figure out, about, what is drawing these fools toward you and..."break the chain".
#6 Yes...I did move here, recently, from another state, but...there has to be guys that will fulfill, what you desire, in this state, even though it seems like an impossible task at the moment.
#7 Don't begrudge yourself what you sought based on what you received. Hold on long enough and you will have that "rockin'" experience that you were looking for.
Betcha -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 11:23 AM"#1.. I like for women to cum A) All the time and B) Many times "
JEEEZ Louisa!
What's this obsession about men needing women to come. By reading this thread, I'm realizing my suspicions are true, that this issue is more about you (and I'm not talking about just,Betcha) then pleasing the woman you are with.
Please take notes dear men. I can also add to the thread of woman speaking out about how much pressure is being put on us to satisfy your Ego desires. I don't mean for this to come off hostile, but if we sincerely express verbally to you that we feel that it is too much pressure and that we are still enjoying ourselves sexually without having came, please take our word!
There are many reasons that I may not come. I have to feel emotionally connected (Number 1) safe, trust you, horny and relaxed. If I feel this pressure from you, it's not going to make it happen any faster. I much rather be kissed, teased, held back, tickled, massaged...taking it slow sometimes, than having the emphasis be on having an orgasm. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 4:32 PMAnicca,
Please take note that in Betcha's response he said he likes for women to cum, he did not say expect.
Lynn
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I don't get the pressure to cum thing, as a woman I have extremely rare occasions that I don't cum, for me, it happens at least once, usually multiple times, and I can be brought to this in many ways, foreplay, orally and vaginally. I do agree that there are many distractions in life we deal with, but jeez, you're having sex, stopping thinking about those things for the moment and enjoy the sex.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 3:03 PM""#1.. I like for women to cum A) All the time and B) Many times "
JEEEZ Louisa!
What's this obsession about men needing women to come. By reading this thread, I'm realizing my suspicions are true, that this issue is more about you (and I'm not talking about just,Betcha) then pleasing the woman you are with. "
I like to see a woman in complete ecstasy when we are having sex. Is that about my pleasure? Somewhat, as it turns on my mind too.
Does she need to cum every time? No, as there are times where she does for me what I do for here and that is to take over the
"pleasure reins".
I don't create a "pressure". In fact, I create the opposite by spending time enjoying one's body. When I feel the edge being ridden, I will teaase and taunt it for a time, just to make the orgasm that much bigger and better...some of the time.
Some of the time, I seek to throw one over the edge with orgasm after orgasm, until she "taps out", lol.
Can I just "make love", "cuddle", enjoy the closeness? Hell yeah.
I read this post as about "sex", in the physical fashion, not adding the complete emotional into it.
Does that make things more confusing, as you believe every time should be a combination of both?
That...could be a problem when we are running the "roleplay" gammit.
I need not for my wife, when we are fantasizing, to be attachjing herself, completely, emotionally to another person who is a role I am taking, nor do I desire to become attached to a role she may play.
That's all about "fun and games".
"There are many reasons that I may not come. I have to feel emotionally connected (Number 1) safe, trust you, horny and relaxed. If I feel this pressure from you, it's not going to make it happen any faster. I much rather be kissed, teased, held back, tickled, massaged...taking it slow sometimes, than having the emphasis be on having an orgasm."
Sounds to me like you read way...too deep into what I said and went defensive on it, as it sounds like a, current, pet peeve of yours.
If someone is pressuring you too much, then tell them to back off on it. If they continue,,,,stop having sex with them, until they get to the point of acknowledging that you meant what you said.
If that doesn't work...make the decision of whether they are really the right person for you, as it sounds like you have run into at least a couple of guys doing a pattern that displeases you in the bedroom.
I was vague a bit on my answer, as I didn't think that I had to explain the whole(Of which I still haven't) to a person posting a thread on a forum. I would have a deeper talk with someone who was a friend and sounding as frustrated as you are sounding about this topic, but....I have known nothing about you or your history in the past, as you know nothing of me, so just kept it to "basics" on my response.
By the way, from what I know of friends, past and present that are male, the varied reasons for asking the question about you cumming, varies from insecurity, trying to give the best pleasure possible or to ego. Ego being the least reason for why I guy does this, after they have left their high school years behind and have grown up some.
Either way, if you are stressing this much during sex...it may be time to take a break from sex for awhile and see why this is so stressful for you. Sex is about the beautiful experience, not about worry.
Betcha
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 6:37 PMMy exploration is not based on these two cases.
I had many partners before I went off the wagon.
As I said, it's just been a weird coincidence that I had no sex for a year and then I draw two weirdos to me in four days.
But the pressure to come thing has been a common thread among many guys in my past.
And thanks Anicca, for clarifying one of my points. :)
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 8:43 PMI'll know almost right away if I'm going to be able to come or not, in almost all cases. When I've made the internal determination that it's just *not* going to happen, I'll let my lovers know that, while I'm *completely* enjoying and appreciating what they're doing, they can definitely stop when their jaw/tongue gets tired. I have much more intense orgasms orally, and if I can have one, it's pretty much guaranteed that I can have at *least* two more before I'm overstimmed - NICE!!! It really does have to be o.k. that I can't always get there, though. I'll try my hardest, but if I'm not feeling it, well, nothing can really be done about that, except to just cuddle and be sweet to me. That *rocks*!!! :o)
I do love bringing my lovers to, er, "fruition" if I can, but communication (and experience) helps me feel better, and reminds me that we're all responsible for our own pleasure, and asking for what we want. If my lover would like something from me, or me from him, it's his/my responsibility to ask for what we want. If your partner isn't so willing to accommodate or reciprocate, that's pretty telling. No one deserves to not have to reciprocate, or at least to not be willing to do so, regardless of gender. There are no princes/princesses - I don't owe anyone anything, nor do I expect anyone to "service" me. It needs to be a pleasurable give and take to be worth my time and energy.
At finding less than five to six inches, I would politely excuse myself. I'm lucky enough that my husband is over 6 inches long *and* just as big around. Not so long that my uterus is displaced, or so big that it feels like I'm having a baby in reverse - just right! You deserve better than what you're getting, sweetheart!
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 9:02 AMwell, sprout, i wouldn't prefer a fake orgasm. tell me it's not gonna happen, & i'll stop. i said i like a woman to cum, & i'll admit i am a bit hard-headed, but i'm not trying to wear out my welcome, as it were. i'll ask a woman i'm with if she cums/came, but pressure to cum? to be honest, i'm not even sure exactly how i might go about pressuring a woman to cum, other than by applying pressure to her bits.
now, i can't speak for all guys, but i don't think our wanting ladies to cum is necessarily an 'issue', or however it was put. i want a lady i'm with to cum because it's a huge fucking turn-on.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Thu, June 26, 2008 - 10:50 PMSome men use blowjobs as a way to rate the experience of women. No, I'm not kidding! I think it's all bull, but the guy who explained the theory was five sheets to the wind, and as everybody knows, you can't contradict a drunk. Anyway, that might be what you've run into.
"What is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex?" That's a sure-fire sign of an inexperienced lover. A lot of ignorant blokes also think they're "not doing their job" if they can't make a woman cum.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 12:12 AMI would say start making some of the "foreplay" be him sending you a few pictures of his cock. By doing this, you will know what you might be getting yourself into (or shall I say, knowing what is getting into you!).
As for what you say about disclosure, I have to agree. It seems like men who are well-endowed do talk about how big their penis is, at least in the crowds I run in. I have met a couple of those less than three inchers in my life...and I must say, I really could not do anything with them. I felt bad, but it just did not work for me. However, I did once see a posting for a woman that only wanted men 3 inches or less. I could see how certain physical conditions would actually make this desireable.
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 6:31 AMA lot of the people who are readily available are readily available for good reasons.
Just keep looking.
Otherwise, you'll just be encouraging people to think they're more worthy of your attention than they are, and that's a disservice to them in the long run. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Fri, June 27, 2008 - 10:01 PMUm . . . seems like folks are being awfully hard on (insert bad joke here) the guys who feel bad if a woman doesn't come. I mean, I get Myriad's point that if it ain't gonna happen, the mechanical, joyless rubbing or licking or whatever is not a good thing. But really. I've been with guys who sometimes (or even often) didn't come, just due to whatever . . . first-fuck nervousness, being exhausted from a long day, being on meds, whatever. And they've always said they had a wonderful time, and that coming was necessary . . . and I always still felt/feel totally inadequate and unfulfilled. I know it's irrational, and that it's not my fault he biked 60 miles, or is on Prozac, or gets first-night jitters, or just gave blood .. .I feel weird. So it's not necessarily a gender thing, but a human thing. It's just that it doesn't happen as often the other way 'round. My 2.7 cents. -
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Re: Strange male behavior
Sat, June 28, 2008 - 8:17 AMA lot of women are born without the Skene's glands. A LOT of them. If they don't have the Skene's glands, orgasm from intercourse alone is practically impossible. Men need to start realizing that it's probably not them at all, much of the time. If she doesn't ever orgasm from intercourse with others, she probably won't with anybody.
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