I think I'll have more fun responding to the responses.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

"If you've demonstrated to who you're with that you are, in that capacity, then you shouldn't bitch when she expects the same kind of empathy in the future. "

Men are not mind readers, I may make shrewd intuitive guesses sometimes, but they are guesses and should not reflect future success of guesses.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. *If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. *

"No. Keep the toilet seat down at all times, and pull it up when you need to use it, you lazy fuck. On top of the fact that it keeps things looking sharp (my bathroom will be clean, best believe), toilet seat down applies to more uses (defecating for both sexes and urinating for the females).

If she keeps it down, she's golden. "

Take responsibility for your own ass. make sure you know where you are putting it. stop expecting Men to spend their time pleasing your ass. I could give a rat's ass how attractive my closest bathroom is at 4am, and yet I make sure that I don't piss on the seat while 9/10 asleep.

3. Crying is blackmail.*

"Only if:
A. You've left yourself open to emotional skullduggery, and..
B.She's a manipulative bitch."

agreed.

4. *1. Ask for what you want.

"Please!"

PLEASE!

> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!

"Rather, set the tone from the beginning and stay consistent. If you were subtle in the beginning, stay that way. If you were direct/blunt, do the same. It's part of what attracted us to you, and consistency (in that respect) will keep us here. "

the shear amount of energy required to maintain subtle is difficult. I am sorry if my energy focus went to trying to setup up the Next major project, instead of focuses undivided on your roundabout communication. I may vary between subtle and blunt depending on what my energy commitment is to following exactly what you say.

> 5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers*
> *to almost every question.

"Yes and No questions, indeed. "

Rarely is any question yes/ no for me. a qualified answers is usually, and normally the closest thing I can concieve of giving and any given time. usually :))

> 6. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> solving it. * > *That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
> are for.

"Hahahaha. I just say, if you want sympathy, ask for it and correct your phrasing so that it -doesn't- come in the form of a problem requiring a solution.

"I'm sad. Can I air out a bit of what I'm feeling with you, hon?" "

I will promise to ask you "Do you want a solution, or do you just need me to listen?"

> 7. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
> argument. > In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

"Hahahaha. Hmm. No. If you fucked up and said/did something that bad, and you both have a habit of utilizing those types of things to bolster you stance in your relationship squabbles, then time shouldn't mean a damn thing. "

HAHA yes 6 month rule matters. if I did something that bad, throwing it in my face over and over is going to lead to a fight. if you were a male friend it might even be a physical fight. either accept that it happened and forgive and move on, or get stuck and drive me away, but reliving my fuck ups is just going to sap my confidence, and deny me that chance to have learned and moved on myself.

> 8. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.

"Set the tone for the types of answers she can expect from the beginning, and you won't have that issue of discomfort when she asks you those types of questions. If she bitches regardless, find someone less demanding of change. "

See 4, if you are seeking reassurance of my love and affection asking sabotage questions just pisses us off.

> 9. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and
> one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

"SAFE! lol. Sound advice for any convo."

are you looking for a fight?, if not, then why assume I am see 4.

> 10. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

"Excellent rule. Common sense. Apply immediately"

Fully agree. Applies to all relationships.

> 11. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
> during
> commercials.

"Yep. Be respectful and mindful. Take the time to notice how absorbed he is when he's watching television before spewing out how your day went. "

I don't watch TV, but please note, unless you have seen me physically change demeanor to reflect I am now paying attention, then I didn't not hear you and will not be responsible for anything you said. applies to any circumstance in which my attention is entirely on one focus.

> 12. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

"Actually, he did (he decided the Caribbean Islands were India LOL). The last thing a pussy needs is some cocky, clueless sailor renaming the clit after her and then proceeding to 'make' a hole out of it to penetrate. "

He did not need directions. he was headed exactly where he wanted to go. he just didn't know about the two continents between him and his destination. that said, I'll take direction pretty well. See 4.

"... If your goal is to please her, and she's got suggestions, listen to what she fucking says or STFU and focus on yourself. "

now the question is, what topic is direction needed. suggestions for your clit, I am all ears and tongue, suggestions for the fastest way to point c after I already decided which point b I want to go through will be discarded.

> 13. ALL men see in only 16 colors.
> * Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
> *Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

"Hahaha. Sounds like a one-dimensional male. I like being able to cite off the hue variances in my clothing. Comes with being picky ;). If you like it simple, make sure your woman knows that. "

I know alot more colors than 16 (OT geek moment, I do a lot of visual processing, so it's more like 32 bit) that doesn't change the fact I still don't know what mauve is. Here's a color wheel, or a color picker, please select from the standardized color terms.

> 14. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

"You wouldn't be in that situation if you'd scratched during the first date, instead of presenting a false appearance. That's your fault, genius. "

if you expect I will act like it's the first date in front of you the rest of my life, you are out of my life at the first opportunity. the first time you fart in front of me is a huge milestone of intimacy.

> 15. If we ask what is wrong and you say
> 'nothing,'** We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are
> lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

"Agree with the first sentence. "

addendum: you are only going to get a limited number of chances to speak up when asked "what's wrong?" if you say nothing to many times, we will never open the question up for discussion again. see 4.

> 16. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,*
> *Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

"Only fair. :) "

Agreed

> 17. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
> wear is fine... Really

"Bullshit. Know where you're going, and tailor your appearance accordingly. I will sit there for the two hours it takes for you to look your best and carry yourself high. I'm invested as much in your appearance as I am in mine. "

you absolutely right we do. now here's a watch with an alarm function. :D the ADD in me is laughing heartily at the fact I am late just cause I am distracted going into the leave time.

> 18. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as **MOTORCYCLES OR POLITICS**.

"Yep. Don't expect what you expect :). "

better rewritten as "if you ask us what we are thinking, expecting it's some deep thought about our relationship, your expectation is going to not be met"

> 19. You have enough clothes.

"Usually. "

it's never mine to judge, unless we're sharing space and you have double my closet needs....and I am a cloths horse

> 20. You have too many shoes.

"Only if they're in my closet. :) "

not mine to judge, but if you have 15 black sling backs that differ by one detail a piece, you are going to be made fun of any time you are going out at night, or wearing anything that covers said detail.

> 21. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

"Not when you roll better than you walk. Shed the pounds and get fit, fatass. "

agreed.

That was fun. do we have anymore mutually cliche stereotypes to play with?

taz

lol.. Where was it I read in a tribe thread, (referring the the sixth rule #1)

"Honey, does my fat ass make my ass look fat?"

I like Kole's edits much better. The man who wrote the first list will never see the inside of my door much less the color of my sheets.