confidence. Confidence can make any man sexy... or renaissance garb. It works better than booze :)

loving, caring, understanding in all relationships. (Friends and family) How he treats everyone is a clue as to how he would treat me.
Can take me on...I can be a little sarcastic or hard.
Great kisser...because well...you gotta have it!
...

what makes him sexy? hmmm...well... if we know each other already then he would know that if he comes up from behind me slowly and just wraps his arms around my waist and purrs in my ear...that's fucking hot. the physical touch. it doesn't even have to be sexual. the auditory growling/purring. makes me purr just thinking about it. one of my gay bois knows how wonderful this makes me feel. when he does it it's not just sexy...it's very calming for me.

if we dont know each other and are just being introduced...well then it would be the eyes. a person's eyes say everything to me. never ever wear sunglasses when meeting me. it's a complete turn off. i want to know who you are and where you've come from. i can get that from the eyes.

**sigh** good dreams tonight.

Confidence, brains and humour.

and im a sucker for brown eyes.

Being kind, caring and honest.

Having a way about himself that I really cannot describe.

How he smells is a big factor for me...it just is a must that I like the smell...and not just what parfume they are wearing.

I love distinctive noses...forget the small nose, it just won't do for me. It is sexy because there is something there for me that goes beyond words.

How he feels to me, the tactile sensation of his skin, his body, his hair on my hands is a turn on. Sometimes this can be just as good or better than PIV sex.

And most of all, what makes a man sexy is how I feel around him. There is not just one thing, it is not just what he says or what he does but something deeper that goes beyond words and communication, which makes is a very difficult thing to find.

First and foremost there is that elusive quality known as "chemistry," which for me seems to have a lot to do with scent and body language. Unfortunately it's my hind brain that's in charge of that decision so I can't really dissect its components for you.
The traits I CAN identify are these:
Intelligence. You don't have to be Stephen Hawking (though it couldn't hurt) but I don't want to feel guilty about constantly outhinking you or frustrated about constantly having to educate you. A little is fine but if it's a pattern it gets old fast.

Creativity. I am an artist. I need somebody who can understand my drive to create and appreciate the end result. I also love learning about partners through their art. Now that art could be carpentry or brick laying or dancing or painting or any other damned creative thing but there must be creativity and the individual must be driven by their personal aesthetic.

Joie de vivre. Little in life is sexier than a person who loves living. Such enthusiasm is infectious and makes every person around you feel better about life. I want somebody who can lift me up, not drag me down.

Loss. As much as I need a person who loves life it cannot be because they have never known loss. In my short life I have had some horrific things happen to me and have lived in some very dark places in my mind. A person who has no ability to relate to such things will leave me feeling not understood, lonely, and unsupported.

Honesty. A person who doesn't just tell the truth, but rather the WHOLE truth, is a cherished find. My battle cry is "I want to know!" I need a person who can tell me things that are uncomfortable, personal, nervous making, and even unflattering.

Perspective. I want a person who looks at the world from a broad point of view. If a person's whole life is fixated on a narrow range of things then they will quickly become either boring/annoying. I want somebody who can present me with perspectives and insights that I have not considered. I want a person with a variety of different life experiences with which to create their perception of the world.

Sensuality. I am a hedonist and my partner needs to at least be appreciative of this. I don't just mean sexually, I mean about everything. I want somebody who can indulge their senses with me. Somebody who gets really excited over little sensual pleasures (soft fabric, a nice wine, a warm spot in the sun) melts my panties.

Patience. All that passion needs to be tempered with compassion. A person needs to be patient with time and with people. Any body who gets bent out of shape because they have to wait in line for five minutes is going to add stress to my life that I don't need. Any body who snaps at people just because they're being a little slow on the uptake is going to piss me off. I need partners with a healthy dose of Zen. If you have the patience for bonsai then you will have the patience to be tender with me and my loved ones. Good things often take time to achieve.

Pride. I don't mean arrogance. Arrogance places one's self above others. Arrogance is, "I'm better than you!" Pride is "I am good," without the need to be better than anyone or anything in particular. A person who walks with confident pride in their body and their self is damned sexy.



OK, that's all for now kiddies. I'm off to get my morning coffee.

wisdom, intellect, sense of humor, lack of arrogance while still very much their own person, thorough understanding of themselves

& honesty..and more honesty and even more honesty (it doesn't have to be verbalized all the time)...compassion.

I think you may get 100 answers from a hundred ladies. But my 2 cents: Confidence (as mentioned) enough to swallow that fear and be assertive but not aggressive. Honest flattery goes a long ways. know the basics and position and feed-back of a woman's body, pay attention you will know what works. Listen to her. i fu can't it is the wrong woman.

liquor!

Well, besides that... a sense of self. This goes a long way towards knowing how to interact, flirt and present ones self. I think that goes for either sex.

self-possession
emotional honesty
confidence
Intelligence
and the bonus quality: originality

Honesty, a great smile and laugh, someone who can be well mannered as well as perfectly silly, a guy who laughs with me=and not at me in an ill manner, a man who can be equally rough as well as gentle, confidence, intelligence, deep eyes, long hair, the perfect amount of chest hair, that's a few things that top my list!!!

Lynn

Confidence, direction, self assurance- you dont need your buddies to feel like a man. (IMHO if you dont have these at my age, your completely lost in life and not worth my time)
Able to handle kids. Very responsible. NEVER afraid to express his feelings in front of others... ie: saying I love you in front of the guys. I hate that "yeah" or "you too" BS
OK so Im forgiving with the lack of style - like the red plad golf shorts with the lime green polo- but please dress nice when asked to. (this is a forgivness after the relationship begins and not prior- sorry I know that sounds bad)
Oh and yes "day old funk" is beyond NASTY! Actually Im really not a fan of sweat - even hot sticky sex sweat. Sad isnt it?
The great ability to visually undress a woman without creeping her out and actually making it a turn on - as prevously mentioned.
And the deal breaker.... the ability to kiss so well that he actually has to hold me up.....every time.... THAT is a man.
As far as physical appearance... Adonis is not in my book of dreamy men, but Jabba the Hut is not either. Just as I would hope my lack of 20-something-ness flat stomach and tight ass would be forgiven, I can forgive the "had a great 20-something party life" belly. Or as my daughter calls it- the "three pack" (two saggy pecks and a belly).
The bottom line if if you are able to have most of the qualities above and touch my soul, you are pretty much in the running.