Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING's topics - tribe.net

Your life's purpose?

2008-07-23T19:57:52Z

David Deida basically states that to be a full man you must know and live your life's purpose. Do you think he is right?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 20 replies

Sex on the 1st date.. effect on along term relationship

2008-07-21T00:06:25Z

Guys, The lady I am chasing here in Oz is very concerned that we slept together on our 1st date. We have bounced off each other and dated others, but recently have made a serious attempt at looking at ourselves as a couple. This issue of sleeping together on the 1st date comes up and is seen to erode some of the romance that a stereo type 1st date with a serious guy should be like for her. We are in our mid forties, so not kids, but it's still a big issue for her. I am fine with it. For me it's how we genuinely feel for each other when out of the bedroom that is important, not a moment of lust many months ago.

Over to you

Rossco

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 20 replies

When is weird too weird?

2008-07-20T23:30:34Z

And, what does weird mean to you?
And are the points of view you have around "weird" even your own points of view? If not, how weird is that?

Just being provocative here...come on. play...

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 11 replies

Like a postage stamp...

2008-07-19T06:38:51Z

Hi guys (and gals),

Ok, so the post about strange male behavior (men expecting bjs but not giving oral, expecting a woman to cum, etc) got me thinking. i'm not sure if there's a question here, so much as a comment, but here goes:

As glad as i am that there are so many sexy men out there who are starting to see the importance of equal time and equal play in terms of oral sex, i take serious umbrage with the "pussy is like a postage stamp" philosophy. In many ways i find it worse than the obsession / pressure for me to cum for you.

The reason is this: for me recieving oral sex is an incredibly vulnerable thing, cuz i've had some really bad experiences with this and it is likely to trigger me if i don't know and trust my partner very well. Don't get me wrong, i love sex, and i love giving bjs (and cunnilingus on women too, but this is the sexy man tribe) but one of the first ways to make me run for cover is to announce to me in a bar or on a first date that you'd like to lick my pussy. And if you can't stop talking about it when i shyly rebuff you, you may not realize it but that's the reason i probably didn't call you back for the second date.

Of course, its important to me in relationships to have equal time, and of course, i'd love to cum for you, but it's not going to be orally. If you get me into a mischievious mood, i may masterbate for you, and if you earn my trust i may show you how to make it happen. The best lovers i've ever had treated it like a gift, not a puzzle.

As a side note, while i have met several trans MtoF ladys who really were lesbians in a man's body, i find it very offensive when a man uses this as a pick up line to "display his skill or love of eating out." Unless you're wanting to start the hormones and change your name, you are not and will never be a lesbian.

In conclusion, it is your attitude and attention to detail that will convince me you are a good bet for a lay or possibly more. Show me through your eye contact and the heat in your gaze that you want me. Show me with your kisses why i should let you put your mouth all over me. If you seem patient with the waitress at dinner i will guess that you've got enough patience with other things too... get the picture? We're pretty smart, and we are watching you. You don't need to shout your skills (or your size) from the rooftops.

Ok, rant over. Women, am i alone in this? Men, please note that i may be the only one who feels this way due to my past trauma, but i'm a very sexual person, i attend play parties, etc, and i don't come off as wounded or broken so you may not be aware of the effect you're having on her until she walks away.

Blessings,
~birdie.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 32 replies

Why "nice guys" finish last...

2008-07-19T06:16:38Z

An article I stumbled on and thought of this tribe, so snagged it.
Real opinions on this(Not just "politically correct" ones)?

Dating Secret Exposed: Why Nice Guys Finish Last

By April Masini

Are you a nice guy who has always wondered why the cocky guy -- the one who barely appears interested in the girl -- is usually the one who gets the girl?
Have you suffered from hearing the words, "You're a really nice guy, but I only like you as a friend," from a woman who you would do (or may, in fact, have already done) just about anything and everything for -- only to turn around and watch her date (or even chase) a guy who treats her like she's nothing special? And are you stumped wondering why she would date a guy who treats her like that when she could have you who would treat her like a princess and give her everything she wants? Well, you better brace yourself because I'm going to tell you a couple of secrets that you might not want to hear.
First, "nice" equates with boring and predictable. Look up "nice" in the dictionary and you find: pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory. In other words, average -- not exceptional, not exciting, and not sexy.I'll bet you've never heard a woman say she didn't want to date a guy because he was too confident, too passionate, or too exciting -- have you? But, I'll bet you have heard women say things like, "He's such a nice guy. He's so sweet and he's always there for me, but I only like him as a friend." Or, "He's such a good guy -- kind, thoughtful, generous, honest, loyal -- but there's no chemistry. He just doesn't turn me on." Sadly, I hear it all the time. The fact is, Mr. Nice Guy, you cannot bore a woman into feeling attracted to you or into wanting to date you. And as obvious as that sounds, if you are one of those guys I described that is exactly what you are trying to do. And it won't work.
Please understand that I am not suggesting that you mistreat women or disrespect them in any way.
“What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.”
What I suggesting is that you value and respect yourself more.
To illustrate what I mean: The answer to the question, "Why does the guy who doesn't appear to care as much about the girl get the girl?" is simple: The nice guy cares too much, too soon. He has made the woman too important and too valuable and it shows in everything he says and does. He is too available, too eager to please, too accommodating, and he gives too much -- all without getting anything in return. By doing so, he has made himself appear desperate, insecure, needy of this woman's attention, affection, and approval -- and he has stripped himself of any value in her eyes. After all, if he's already doing and giving everything, without her doing or giving anything - why would she value him? She won't. She is not going to value him any more than he values himself. What she is going to do is look for someone else, someone who she perceives as being more worthy, more confident, and more valuable.
It works like this:
“Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation.”
Once you need something, or you want it too badly, you forfeit your strength and lose all power of negotiation. You are in a position of weakness and you are perceived as weak. Someone (or something) else is in control of you, the situation, and it's outcome. Men in this situation appear to be anything but confident, strong, and exciting. More, they are perceived as being unworthy and as lacking value.
Translation: Things that are easily acquired, obtained, or maintained, without any effort or sacrifice, lack value... it's human nature.
The secret to why the cocky guy wins with women, over the nice guy, is that he is perceived as being a stronger, more confident guy with more value. How? He never invests everything -- his entire being, ego, and self-worth in what one woman's response or reaction to him is. He doesn't gush with compliments; he isn't always available; he doesn't give too much; and he knows he isn't going to die if a woman says "no" to him. More, his attitude is, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, but if I can't, that's OK -- I'm a busy guy, with exciting things going on, and lots of other options.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 55 replies

Your Partner is as Emotionally Healthy as You Can Tolerate (x-post to AASWA)

2008-07-19T05:20:20Z

From the title of a book chapter available online at http://www.saundradickinson.com/articles/chapter_12.pdf

Thoughts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 40 replies

We can rebuild him, we can make him bigger, stronger..... THE WONDER COCK!

2008-07-18T05:07:38Z

Wednesday, July 16, 2008 (SF Gate)
The Remote Control Penis/They say the male birth-control pill is ready to go. But is something missing?
By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

Vividly indeed do I remember the lovely and sordid tale my friend once
told me, many years ago, of the terrific guy she once dated, a strapping
young thing who - through a series of unfortunate childhood events - had
to have a remote-controlled, robotic penis installed in his body.

Let me be more specific. Apparently, this fine lad's delicate man tissues
had been damaged in a very unpleasant bicycle accident in his youth, and
he could therefore no longer enjoy normal erections. Everything else
functioned just fine, but when it came to sex, despite having full
sensation, all systems were mangled, all blood vessels shot. Sad indeed.

But then, a savior. Through the miracle of modern medicine and
not-so-modern pneumatics, ingenious doctors were able to install some sort
of marvelous contraption, a valve and a rod and bladder and a little pump
- a complete mechanical system by which our boy could, well, inflate and
deflate his manhood at will, last as long as he liked, repeat as
frequently as energy and soreness and lubricant allowed, and thereby enjoy
a (relatively) normal sex life.

It worked like a charm. It also worked like an aphrodisiac, a mesmerizing
technological miracle, and a pair of old Reebok Pump basketball shoes.
What you did was: Squeeze a little bulb at the base of the perineum a few
dozen times to inflate, to raise the flag and see who salutes. Enjoy
indefinitely (!) When finished, simply reach up underneath into God's
country and press a different little bulb to deflate the air bladder and,
well, lower the mainsail (my friend said this particular procedure sounded
like a sad squeaky toy, sighing slowly. She found it adorable).

(Here is where I'd like to tell you my friend's nickname for this lad, but
they tell me this is still a family website and baffled
children/grandmothers could be reading this and are already panicky that
they saw the word "penis" on screen. So I'll just say it rhymed very
closely with "The Wonder Sock.")

This heartwarming tale comes to mind as I read of how scientists have now
developed a tiny valve they can surgically implant into the manhood of
mankind to, well, control the flow of sperm at will. Your own built-in,
reversible, radio-controlled vasectomy! they exclaim, with a winking
Australian grin.

Apparently, said contraption involves a little remote-controlled switch
that can, at the press of a button, activate or deactivate the flow from
wherever it is that sperm flows (a musty little furniture shop somewhere
on the outskirts of London, I think) by opening and closing a valve
installed into the all-important duct known as the vas deferens. Nifty!

I know what you're thinking. A remote-controlled sperm valve? Are you
crazy? Who the hell would want something like that?

I'll tell you who: Every modern male under 30, that's who. Hell, add in a
digital camera and an MP3 player and maybe built-in GPS, and you've got
the next iPod.

See, like my friend's wonder sock, I think such technology would play
directly upon the dual modern male fantasies of unlimited penile dexterity
and übergeek tech coolness. In the age of gizmo wonders and
technologically advanced everything, why not a mechanically enhanced
penis? Why not a little Iron Man in your iron man? Make it easy, make it
relatively affordable, market it like you would the Bang & Olufsen stereo
option on an Audi R8 (i.e., an invaluable enhancement, not a threat), and
I say: Viva la revolucion!

It is, of course, all part of the eternal quest for an easy, idiot-proof
male birth-control device for consensual adults that doesn't involve
sheathing everything in miserable amounts of latex and therefore dulling
the finest sensation known to all malehood next to perhaps a superlative
foot massage and maybe sipping dark rum in a hot tub with nubile pagan
fire priestesses from the moon.

But maybe such a valve won't be necessary. After all, they say there's
already been a big breakthrough in male birth control, that scientists
have finally developed a surefire "male pill" that knocks any man's sperm
count down to zero, and all that's left is a bit of clinical testing.

So effective is the new pill that it's apparently safer than condoms,
safer than the female pill, safer than staring at a photo of Ann Coulter
for three full, agonizing minutes while your sperm commit mass suicide
from sheer horror. Amazing.

But apparently there's a problem. Big Pharma doesn't seem to care about
this new breakthrough. And why? Money, of course. They say there's just
not enough interest. Men don't seem to be clamoring for it, the market
doesn't seem to be there, millions don't stand to be made, and hence no
one wants to fund more research on the thing, which could result in a wait
of three to five more years before such a pill hits the market, if it ever
does.

What's more, some argue that dumb-as-nails men are too unreliable for such
a thing anyway, that no woman worth her weight in diaphragms and Nonoxyl-9
would dare trust a man to remember to take a pill every day, because of
course men are generally irresponsible schlubs who can't even remember
their own phone numbers and etc. and so on and cliché cliché
cliché.

To which I say, utter and total B.S. There's not a smart modern male I
know who wouldn't love to know he wouldn't - couldn't - get a date
pregnant, that there could be no "accidents," that he will never get that
life-altering phone call. Hell, there's already a trend whereby some
baby-terrified men are getting old-school surgical vasectomies in their
early 20s, rife with the fear that some nefarious huntress might try to
snare them in the baby trap. Shift the power dynamics of fertility and
birth control to men? Talk about your massive cultural psycho-sexual
upheavals. Watch for it.

But maybe that's neither here nor there. Maybe the pill's researchers need
to hook up with the valve engineers and the genius docs who installed my
friend's lover's old penis pump way back when, and all work together to
solve this most pressing issue and move humanity, uh, forward.

Which is to say, you want to guarantee men engage fully in matters fertile
and impregnable? You want to make sure they care deeply about familial
responsibility and planning? Don't just give them a pill. Give them a
slick badass high-tech gizmo to deliver it, maybe a hot little button on
their iPhones that not only shuts a microvalve and releases the pill's
chemicals, but also boosts stamina, responds to voice commands, calculates
the tip on the dinner bill, organizes their playlist according to a given
date's particular mood, and of course, reminds them exactly where the
clitoris is. Really, what more do you need?

Thoughts about this column? E-mail Mark.

Mark Morford's Notes & Errata column appears every Wednesday and Friday on
SFGate and in the Datebook section of the San Francisco Chronicle. To get
on the e-mail list for this column, please click here and remove one
article of clothing.

Mark's column also has an RSS feed and an archive of past columns, which
includes another small photo of Mark potentially sufficient for you to
recognize him in the street and give him gifts. He also has a raw Facebook
page, but has little idea why.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright 2008 SF Gate

(no, I don't have their permission to post this, but I gave full credit and if they want to come yell at me I'll certainly take the free advertisement down)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

Our dirty world.............

2008-07-16T23:43:23Z

A good friend of mine has herpes, type 2.
Some boys will not go down on her because of this. She understands their trepidation, but is frustrated because of the actual statistics.
So my question is, would you gents go down on a lady with this STD if she wasn't having an outbreak and had never passed it to anyone (through oral or vaginal sex)?
Does the word Herpes freak you out? Would you walk away from a girl you like because of it?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 37 replies

Strange male behavior

2008-07-15T06:27:04Z

(Edited cross-post)
So, I've been out of the "dating loop" for a bit now. That includes sex and dating for over a year.
And now I'm turning into the whore of Babalon...........
In the course of 4 days I have attracted two guys.
And both of them were very, um, blow-jobcentric.
The second one basically said no sex without a BJ first. He was kicked out :)
I don't know when this happened, but it seems that blow-jobs are the new foreplay. And they readily admit that they have no interest in reciprocating! WTF? NOT cool!
(Tis next section may be offensive to some guys, but it's truth to me and needs to be said) And I realized that I have some sort of small penis magnet in my pants.............I can honestly say I've never been with a guy over 6in. Some made up for it in girth, but not many. I've also seen some amazingly small guys. I'm not a size-queen, and I will always do my best to work around these situations, but I would like to know what something larger is like. And frankly, 3in is just not enough. It may be the motion in the ocean, but you can't row a boat that won't stay in the water :) And it helps to be aware of your....limitations....and be willing to make the nessessary adjustments.......I've met too many guys that were not willing to, and that just makes me mad. They just plowed along and didn't get why I wasn't super excited.
And another thing! Yes, I'm ranting..........What is up with guys expecting women to cum every time we have sex? Just because you have now located the clit and have a general knowledge of how it works, doesn't mean it's an on/off switch. I don't have sex like a man. I miss the good old days when just the sex was enough. It's to much pressure to be *expected* to cum. I still enjoyed it, isn't that enough? When did this happen? I noticed it years ago, but it still doesn't make sense.
So, back to the original plan of actually saving myself for someone that I care about!
They were just silly mistakes, mistakes we all make from time to time, but I've been beating myself up about them. I guess I just needed a reminder of what I actually need. I forgot why I actually enjoyed not having sex.
So it's not really a question, just some stuff that I needed to get off my somewhat bruised chest...........

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 50 replies

A Slut defined..........

2008-07-14T13:07:35Z

What makes a slut? Yes I know everyone will have a different definition but curious to hear yours. Do 7 dates (sexual encounters) in 7 days make one a slut? How about 9? or 4? what is the dividing line for you or in your mind?Maybe it is not the number of dates or encounters, perhaps it is simply about attitude. Enquiring minds want to know.......

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 42 replies

gender, identity and professionalism in name (Xposted)

2008-07-12T02:28:43Z

I recently had an issue with someone in regards to naming a venture. She wanted to put the word "Chicks" in the name of the service, which is a domestic trade, and I felt all uncomfortable with that.

In the past i have seen realtor signs (which are already weird enough) for two women nick-named "Bizzy Blondes" and that bugged me.

Something about attaching words that employ imagery connected to gender in a professional manner seems... well, unprofessional to me. maybe I'm overreacting but I don't want to be addressed as a 'chick' or 'blonde' or whatever in a professional setting. I wouldn't feel as if I was setting myself up to be taken seriously, I guess.

What do you think?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

For the ladies :what makes a man sexy?

2008-07-08T22:49:31Z

Id like a list please, lol, physical attributes, mental, emotional, spiritual. and why this is so sexy to you ladies.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 35 replies

where do you draw the line...

2008-07-07T00:01:41Z

between a pleasantly hairy chest, & what has been described in the other thread as massive loads of hair?
i'm not a bear, but it's not peach fuzz either.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 15 replies

Sex and the city/ the other side?

2008-07-03T23:10:04Z

Did any one see Sex and the City? It is obvisiously from the female point of view. Steve Cheats on Miranda, Big gets cold feet before the wedding, etc..
And I understand that there are another side to these relationships, the side we don't see. The man's side. Why did Steve cheat? He wasn't getting sex for 6 months. Why is big so afriad of marriage? He's been married twice before and it didn't work out. Legitimate fears but they had to be pushed to reveal it.
In relationship stuff in general , in the media, from word of mouth, I get the women's side of things. Women talk about this stuff a lot. Our relationship movies tend to be about women having trouble finding and keeping love. Men are often not that happy in their relationships, they cheat, they file for divorce. But they don't talk about it a lot . I don't see books written by men about marriage and what men want. ( some books are written by men but it seems they are written for women ) Do men speak up and I don't hear it or are men actually quiet about relationship stuff and what they want? Women have changed so much, it must be occuring to men that things are very different now than they were . Men seem lost in relationships, do men talk about it? What do men want? Are men getting it ( the stuff they want) ?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 71 replies

Do the rest of you get these?

2008-07-03T22:06:07Z

I'm getting more and more spam on tribe. What about the rest of you? Here's the latest from my inbox, I cracked up at the bits about love and happiness and being "drastically wiped out".

Your urgent response is needed.

(meresalge@yahoo.com)

I hope that I am not embarrassing you with this mail because you did not expect it or know me before. But kindly rest assured that I have irresistible urge to write it believe me, the mail is an indication of love for you and happiness I shall always wish you I am Miss. Meredith Salge 19 years old and the only Daughter of late Mr. & Mrs. Salge Fava, the former president of Cote Ivoire chambers of Cocoa & Coffee Dealers Association.

My late father was very wealthy cocoa & coffee dealer my mother died when I was a baby and my father was poisoned to death by his business members before his death my father told me that he made the next of kin of a fund, he deposited the sum of Seven million and Eight hundred thousand United States Dollars USD ($7.800, 000) In the bank here,

I went to the bank and confirm that my father really make me the next kin of this money , Now I want to transfer the money into your account in your country because the people that killed my father is after my life now to make sure that our family are drastically wiped off. Infarct as I am writing to you now I am in hiding here .please if you can help to save my life and transfer the fund to your account.

I am deeply interested to offer to you 20% from the total money that is involved for transferring it into your own designated account again I will hand this money over to you to invest it for me wisely ,as you know , this is the highest confidence and trust any person can repose on the other especially when it is considered that we did not know ourselves before then you are expected to display high degree of maturity , responsibility and understanding in handling this information so that our family enemies will not know that I am around .In getting me through your information.

I will give you every detail about the bank here for the transfer to carry on to your account. After you have indicated your interest and willingness to help me out. (meresalge@yahoo.com)

Best Regards
Miss. Meredith Salge.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 5 replies

Hairy Chest

2008-07-01T00:27:02Z

Hey there, guys!

Do you think the ladies dig a guy who's got massive load of hairs on his chest?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 22 replies

Would you get jealous?

2008-06-28T00:15:18Z

OK sexy guys... how would you feel you your wife/ gf/ partner had some very close guy friends and indulge in long chats (say 1 - 3 hours) on the phone once a week with each one. Can you handle it ? Would you get jealous ? Is it normal to get jealous, after all it's only a phone call ?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 23 replies

how can you tell?

2008-06-24T02:27:45Z

ok, this may get a bit lengthy but I will try my best to sum it up short and to the point...

My boyfriend and I have been together off and on for about 7 years... but have been back in a serious monogamous relationship for over a year... (this being our third time). Lately our sex-life has really drifted. First I thought it was because of my school schedule, which was a bit crazy last semester for about 3 months... and now I guess my excuse is that our work schedules are conflicting...
but honestly, for some reason, I seem to have lost that yearning to just jump his bones and get it on! What the hell? This is totally not like me. I mean the last relationship I was in, we couldn't get enough sex.. We'd have sex for hours... I could not lay next to that guy without wanting him... and the crazy part... the guy I am with now is the best. He is a wonderful guy. Although lately I am noticing that there are quite a few differences between us, our personalities and such... He is attractive, has a great smile, and those eyes that I adore... but I feel like the passion is gone...
I just don't know what to do... I feel like I have a tendency to try and mess things up before they get there, maybe as kind of a self-defense mechanism or something...
oh I don't know... I love him, I have loved him for the past 7 years... but now I sit here pondering if this is enough for me? and it seems like its not just the sex.

I go through these stages, or periods in my life, where I feel one way, and then it changes and I feel another way. I was so excited when we got back together... thinking of how great we are and then it got serious enough for me to think how I want to marry him and have kids with him. Now the thought of that kinda freaks me out... what is going on with me!?!?!?

is it me? Can I fix it? Am I over analyzing this?

And on top of this, I have recently hung out with two guys who I kinda had a little interest in about a year ago, both instances were fun, and I noticed an obvious connection, though not sure if only sexual... nothing happened, just hung out, caught up on life and had a great time. but good conversation, which to me is partially what seems to be missing out of my current relationship. He is just one of those guys who isn't a talker... and well... I am... so maybe that has something to do with it?
I am lost.. and don't know what to think....

how do you know when it is right... and for good? I can't tell if its me just making something out of nothing, or me noticing something that is not there.... how can you tell?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 15 replies

courtship phase

2008-06-23T08:31:50Z

ok, so i asked the ladies about this on the other tribe. but what i want to ask you guys is, do you often find yourselves having trouble w/the courtship phase? me, i can't stand it. i'm ok when it's just humpin, & i've been told i make a good boyfriend, but it's that period between those two that just freaks me right the fuck out. i get antsy, i get impatient, i get jealous. i don't like this, but there it is, & i haven't yet figured out quite how to go about changing all that.
i'm going through it right now & i think i may've fucked it up. i have a hard time keeping my cool when i really care about someone. i'm not the only one, am i?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 12 replies

Communication man to woman...

2008-06-20T20:08:16Z

So first off...why is it so damn hard for men and woman to communicate?!?! *end vent*

Now for the question...Guys what can make communication easier from your perspective?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 102 replies

Breakage?

2008-06-20T20:01:33Z

A new lover and I have encountered a scary problem. In two weeks, we've had three condom breakages. We've tried two different brands, Trojan Ultra ribbed and One. Both are lubricated, non-spermicidal. We don't use additional lube, and definitely nothing oil based. The tips seem to be ripping or splitting. Pretty straight forward nothing too fancy or complicated in the technique, but I've never had it happen before, and we're not looking to start a family! I'm a long time condom user, and haven't had this problem. Help!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 12 replies

Happy Father's Day!

2008-06-15T18:44:35Z

To all the sexy fathers here! You've taken on a big responsibility, and whether married, divorced or single, you should be proud of yourself for involving yourself in the raising of your children and the world's next generation. A father's influence is an important part of shaping a child's world view and self-image. Keep up the good work!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 0 replies

What is it that you want most?

2008-06-15T05:13:05Z

Quiet Sat night at home, watching Capt. Jack Sparrow, got me thinking what with his compass, what is it that YOU want MOST?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 42 replies

Wants vs. Needs (x posted to AASWA)

2008-06-14T05:41:54Z

Of course there is a difference between wants and needs. I might be hungry and want a hot fudge sundae but what my body really needs is some protein. Last night something was said to me about wants and needs. I guess what I think I want turns out to not be what I needed. This was driven home to me this week on more than one occasion, often having to do with things of a sexual nature.

What I want (need!) to know is what are your thoughts on this. What have you wanted only to find out you did not need it? How have you figured out what it is that you need? How have your needs changed over time? Is it easy to communicate what you need to those you love, or is communicating what you want easier?

Thanks!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 3 replies

Is it true

2008-06-13T22:53:19Z

That in the dating "market" men expect to date women 10 to 20 years younger then them selves (maybe an older guy question)?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 20 replies

Is it all about the chase?

2008-06-13T06:57:48Z

The chase is so fun, but when you have caught your prey and conquered her and now the availability is there for the taking whenever you want..... does it seem almost a let down?
Do you find yourself longing for the chase again?
How do you manage it?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 9 replies

Ist der vergrößerte Dreier wie unstimmig?

2008-06-10T05:17:04Z

http://tribes.tribe.net/augmentedtriad

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 12 replies

QUESTION: ARE MEN AFRAID OF WOMEN WHO KNOW WHAT THEY WANT (especially in regards to sex) ?

2008-06-09T13:37:17Z

Ok the reason i ask this is:

I am 35 and seriously in my sexual prime, I have a friend she is 25 and you could say the same as me as far as her sex drive is concerned, we have spent the last few days bitching about the fact that men have become women, well at least here in OZ, we know what we want, especially when it comes to sex, and men a being a bunch of girls, they either are so scared they can't perform, or they don't shut up during the whole process shaking like a leaf, they think if we want a booty call, it means we want a relationship (Booty call is just that sex, and nothing else).

What ever happened to the male out there driven by pure lust, and just wanted sex. (because he doesn't exist here anymore)

Has womens rights gone to far and we have hurt ourselves by becoming assertive and dominant?

guys i need to know what you think

X ref (ASWA)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 54 replies

Is nice sexy?

2008-06-09T05:33:54Z

You all know "nice" girls. They're accomodating, gentle, good listeners, kind to other people and animals, manage to speak their minds in ways that don't denigrate others or discount their opinions, are more willing to absorb pain than to deal it out to others.
Are they sexy? Or does "nice"=bland, weak, uncool, vanilla, uninteresting?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 32 replies

The Ex GF as a Friend....

2008-06-08T01:04:45Z

Hello all you Sexy Men!

I am in a state of anxiety over my BF's friendship with his ex-GF. It drives me crazy that they meet for lunch, call each other and e-mail each other.

Their history: They dated for two plus years. During their relationship, they broke up 5 or 6 times. He broke up with her for good on New Year's Day, 2005. On New Year's Day, 2006, she got married (her 4th marriage). By the end of 2006, she was having trouble with her marriage and my BF wanted to get back together with her, but she stayed with her husband.

The BF and I have been dating for 10 months. It's kind of a long distance relationship, we live 3 hours apart and only see each other on the weekends.

Sexy Men - can guys really be friends with their ex's? Should I not be so worried about this?

Thank you!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 15 replies

Do you accept women's influence in your relationship.

2008-05-27T20:34:33Z

# Accept influence. A marriage succeeds to the extent that the husband can accept influence from his wife. If a woman says, "Do you have to work Thursday night? My mother is coming that weekend, and I need your help getting ready," and her husband replies, "My plans are set, and I'm not changing them". This guy is in a shaky marriage. A husband's ability to be influenced by his wife (rather than vice-versa) is crucial because research shows women are already well practiced at accepting influence from men, and a true partnership only occurs when a husband can do so as well.
# Have high standards. Happy couples have high standards for each other even as newlyweds. The most successful couples are those who, even as newlyweds, refused to accept hurtful behavior from one another. The lower the level of tolerance for bad behavior in the beginning of a relationship, the happier the couple is down the road.
( From John Gottman, Psychologisy)
What do you think?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 24 replies

Knickers

2008-05-22T01:48:24Z

A number of women have asked over the years what kind of underwear we prefer to wear, time to turn the tables on them. What kind of underwear do you prefer to see on your partner, if any ;)

Ladies feel free to chime in with what you prefer to wear

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 13 replies

Tribe Friends

2008-05-20T03:56:00Z

How many of your tribe friends have you met in real life? Do you try to meet them or are you indifferent? Personally I like to see if my tribe friends cross into real life so I try to meet them all, right now I am close to the halfway point & I have met some great people

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master

2008-05-14T06:24:11Z

http://www.esquire.com/features/essential-skills-0508?kw=ist

The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by. People count on you to come through. That's why you need these, to start.
A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

A Man Should Be Able To:

1. Give advice that matters in one sentence. I got run out of a job I liked once, and while it was happening, a guy stopped me in the hall. Smart guy, but prone to saying too much. I braced myself. I didn't want to hear it. I needed a white knight, and I knew it wasn't him. He just sighed and said: When nobody has your back, you gotta move your back. Then he walked away. Best advice I ever got. One sentence.

2. Tell if someone is lying. Everyone has his theory. Pick one, test it. Choose the tells that work for you. I like these: Liars change the subject quickly. Liars look up and to their right when they speak. Liars use fewer contractions. Liars will sometimes stare straight at you and employ a dead face. Liars never touch their chest or heart except self-consciously. Liars place objects between themselves and you during a conversation.

3. Take a photo. Fill the frame.

4. Score a baseball game. Scoring a game is an exercise in ciphering, creating a shorthand of your very own. In this way, it's a private language as much as a record of the game. The only given is the numbering of the positions and the use of the diamond to express each batter's progress around the bases. I black out the diamond when a run scores. I mark an RBI with a tally mark in the upper-right-hand corner. Each time you score a game, you pick up on new elements to track: pitch count, balls and strikes, foul balls. It doesn't matter that this information is available on the Internet in real time. Scoring a game is about bearing witness, expanding your own ability to observe.

5. Name a book that matters. The Catcher in the Rye does not matter. Not really. You gotta read.

6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible. One guy at your table knows where Cobain was born and who his high school English teacher was. Another guy can argue the elegant extended trope of Liquid Swords with GZA himself. This is how it should be. Music does not demand agreement. Rilo Kiley. Nina Simone. Whitesnake. Fugazi. Otis Redding. Whatever. Choose. Nobody likes a know-it-all, because 1) you can't know it all and 2) music offers distinct and private lessons. So pick one. Except Rilo Kiley. I heard they broke up.

7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.

Buy The Way to Cook, by Julia Child. Try roasting. Braising. Broiling. Slow-cooking. Pan searing. Think ragouts, fricassees, stews. All of this will force you to understand the functionality of different cuts. In the end, grilling will be a choice rather than a chore, and your Weber will become a tool rather than a piece of weekend entertainment.

8. Not monopolize the conversation.

9. Write a letter.

So easy. So easily forgotten. A five-paragraph structure works pretty well: Tell why you're writing. Offer details. Ask questions. Give news. Add a specific memory or two. If your handwriting is terrible, type. Always close formally.

10. Buy a suit.

Avoid bargains. Know your likes, your dislikes, and what you need it for (work, funerals, court). Squeeze the fabric -- if it bounces back with little or no sign of wrinkling, that means it's good, sturdy material. And tug the buttons gently. If they feel loose or wobbly, that means they're probably coming off sooner rather than later. The jacket's shoulder pads are supposed to square with your shoulders; if they droop off or leave dents in the cloth, the jacket's too big. The jacket sleeves should never meet the wrist any lower than the base of the thumb -- if they do, ask to go down a size. Always get fitted.

11. Swim three different strokes. Doggie paddle doesn't count.

12. Show respect without being a suck-up. Respect the following, in this order: age, experience, record, reputation. Don't mention any of it.

13. Throw a punch. Close enough, but not too close. Swing with your shoulders, not your arm. Long punches rarely land squarely. So forget the roundhouse. You don't have a haymaker. Follow through; don't pop and pull back. The length you give the punch should come in the form of extension after the point of contact. Just remember, the bones in your hand are small and easy to break. You're better off striking hard with the heel of your palm. Or you could buy the guy a beer and talk it out.

14. Chop down a tree. Know your escape path. When the tree starts to fall, use it.

15. Calculate square footage. Width times length.

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

16. Tie a bow tie.

Step 1: Make a simple knot, allowing slightly more length (one to two inches) on the end of A.

Step 2: Lay A out of the way, fold B into the normal bow shape, and position it on the first knot you made.

Step 3: Drop A vertically over folded end B.

Step 4: Double back A on itself and position it over the knot so that the two folded ends make a cross.

Step 5: The hard part: Pass folded end A under and behind the left side (yours) of the knot and through the loop behind folded end B.

Step 6: Tighten the knot you have created, straightening, particularly in the center.

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well.

When I interviewed for my first job, one of the senior guys had me to his house for a reception. He offered me a cigarette and pointed me to a bowl of whiskey sours, like I was Darrin Stephens and he was Larry Tate. I can still remember that first tight little swallow and my gratitude that I could go back for a refill without looking like a drunk. I came to admire the host over the next decade, but he never gave me the recipe. So I use this:
• For every 750-ml bottle of whiskey (use a decent bourbon or rye), add:
• 6 oz fresh-squeezed, strained lemon juice

• 6 oz simple syrup (mix superfine sugar and water in equal quantities)

To serve: Shake 3 oz per person with ice and strain into chilled cocktail glasses. Garnish with a cherry and an orange slice or, if you're really slick, a float of red wine. (Pour about 1/2 oz slowly into each glass over the back of a spoon; this is called a New York sour, and it's great.)

18. Speak a foreign language. Pas beaucoup. Mais faites un effort.

19. Approach a woman out of his league. Ever have a shoeshine from a guy you really admire? He works hard enough that he doesn't have to tell stupid jokes; he doesn't stare at your legs; he knows things you don't, but he doesn't talk about them every minute; he doesn't scrape or apologize for his status or his job or the way he is dressed; he does his job confidently and with a quiet relish. That stuff is wildly inviting. Act like that guy.

20. Sew a button.

21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.

Once, in our lifetime, much of Europe was approaching cultural and political irrelevance. Then they made like us and banded together into a union of confederated states. So you can always assume that they were simply copying the United States as they now push us to the verge of cultural and political irrelevance.

22. Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn't have to ask after it.

Otherwise, ask after it.

23. Be loyal. You will fail at it. You have already. A man who does not know loyalty, from both ends, does not know men. Loyalty is not a matter of give-and-take: He did me a favor, therefore I owe him one. No. No. No. It is the recognition of a bond, the honoring of a shared history, the reemergence of the vows we make in the tight times. It doesn't mean complete agreement or invisible blood ties. It is a currency of selflessness, given without expectation and capable of the most stellar return.

24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope. Brand, amount, style, fast, like so: Booker's, double, neat.

25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.

Use a contractor's hammer. Swing hard and loose, like a tennis serve.

26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.

27. Play gin with an old guy. Old men will try to crush you. They'll drown you in meaningless chatter, tell stories about when they were kids this or in Korea that. Or they'll retreat into a taciturn posture designed to get you to do the talking. They'll note your strategies without mentioning them, keep the stakes at a level they can control, and change up their pace of play just to get you stumbling. You have to do this -- play their game, be it dominoes or cribbage or chess. They may have been playing for decades. You take a beating as a means of absorbing the lessons they've learned without taking a lesson. But don't be afraid to take them down. They can handle it.

28. Play go fish with a kid.

You don't crush kids. You talk their ear off, make an event out of it, tell them stories about when you were a kid this or in Vegas that. You have to play their game, too, even though they may have been playing only for weeks. Observe. Teach them without once offering a lesson. And don't be afraid to win. They can handle it.

29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.

Sometimes the laws of physics aren't laws at all. Read The Quantum World: Quantum Physics for Everyone, by Kenneth W. Ford.

30. Feign interest. Good place to start: quantum physics.

31. Make a bed.

32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick. I once stood in a wine store in West Hollywood where the owner described a pinot noir he favored as "a night walk through a wet garden." I bought it. I went to my hotel and drank it by myself, looking at the flickering city with my feet on the windowsill. I don't know which was more right, the wine or the vision that he placed in my head. Point is, it was right.

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

33. Hit a jump shot in pool. It's not something you use a lot, but when you hit a jump shot, it marks you as a player and briefly impresses women. Make the angle of your cue steeper, aim for the bottommost fraction of the ball, and drive the cue smoothly six inches past the contact point, making steady, downward contact with the felt.

34. Dress a wound. First, stop the bleeding. Apply pressure using a gauze pad. Stay with the pressure. If you can't stop the bleeding, forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Once the bleeding stops, clean the wound. Use water or saline solution; a little soap is good, too. If you can't get the wound clean, then forget the next step, just get to a hospital. Finally, dress the wound. For a laceration, push the edges together and apply a butterfly bandage. For avulsions, where the skin is punctured and pulled back like a trapdoor, push the skin back and use a butterfly. Slather the area in antibacterial ointment. Cover the wound with a gauze pad taped into place. Change that dressing every 12 hours, checking carefully for signs of infection. Better yet, get to a hospital.

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).

36. Make three different bets at a craps table. Play the smallest and most poorly labeled areas, the bets where it's visually evident the casino doesn't want you to go. Simply play the pass line; once the point is set, play full odds (this is the only really good bet on the table); and when you want a little more action, tell the crew you want to lay the 4 and the 10 for the minimum bet.

37. Shuffle a deck of cards.

I play cards with guys who can't shuffle, and they lose. Always.

38. Tell a joke. Here's one:

Two guys are walking down a dark alley when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then, one guy turns to the other, hands him a bill, and says, "Hey, here's that $20 I owe you."

39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.

Aces. Eights. Always.

40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear. Use his first name. Don't use baby talk. Don't crank up your energy to match his. Ask questions and wait for answers. Follow up. Don't pretend to be interested in Webkinz or Power Rangers or whatever. He's as bored with that shit as you are. Concentrate instead on seeing the child as a person of his own.

41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear.

You don't own the restaurant, so don't act like it. You own the transaction. So don't speak into the menu. Lift your chin. Make eye contact. All restaurants have secrets -- let it be known that you expect to see some of them.

42. Talk to a dog so it will hear.

Go ahead, use baby talk.

43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. Just turn off the damned main.

44. Ask for help.

Guys who refuse to ask for help are the most cursed men of all. The stubborn, the self-possessed, and the distant. The hell with them.

45. Break another man's grip on his wrist. Rotate your arm rapidly in the grip, toward the other guy's thumb.

46. Tell a woman's dress size.

47. Recite one poem from memory. Here you go:

WHEN YOU ARE OLD

When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

--William Butler Yeats

48. Remove a stain. Blot. Always blot.

49. Say no.

50. Fry an egg sunny-side up. Cook until the white appears solid...and no longer.

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

51. Build a campfire.

There are three components:

1. The tinder -- bone-dry, snappable twigs, about as long as your hand. You need two complete handfuls. Try birch bark; it burns long and hot.

2. The kindling -- thick as your thumb, long as your forearm, breakable with two hands. You need two armfuls.

3. Fuel wood -- anything thick and long enough that it can't be broken by hand. It's okay if it's slightly damp. You need a knee-high stack.

Step 1: Light the tinder, turning the pile gently to get air underneath it.

Step 2: Feed the kindling into the emergent fire with some pace.

Step 3: Lay on the fuel wood. Pyramid, the log cabin, whatever -- the idea is to create some kind of structure so that plenty of air gets to the fire.

52. Step into a job no one wants to do. When I was 13, my dad called me into his office at the large urban mall he ran. He was on the phone. What followed was a fairly banal 15-minute conversation, which involved the collection of rent from a store. On and on, droning about store hours and lighting problems. I kept raising my eyebrows, pretending to stand up, and my dad kept waving me down. I could hear only his end, garrulous and unrelenting. He rolled his eyes as the excuses kept coming. His assertions were simple and to the point, like a drumbeat. He wanted the rent. He wanted the store to stay open when the mall was open. Then suddenly, having given the job the time it deserved, he put it to an end. "So if I see your gate down next Sunday afternoon, I'm going to get a drill and stick a goddamn bolt in it and lock you down for the next week, right?" When he hung up, rent collected, he took a deep breath. "I've been dreading that call," he said. "Once a week you gotta try something you never would do if you had the choice. Otherwise, why are you here?" So he gave me that. And this...

53. Sometimes, kick some ass.

54. Break up a fight. Work in pairs if possible. Don't get between people initially. Use the back of the collar, pull and urge the person downward. If you can't get him down, work for distance.

55. Point to the north at any time.

If you have a watch, you can point the hour hand at the sun. Then find the point directly between the hour hand and the 12. That's south. The opposite direction is, of course, north.

56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.

57. Explain what a light-year is. It's the measure of the distance that light travels over 365.25 days.

58. Avoid boredom. You have enough to eat. You can move. This must be acknowledged as a kind of freedom. You don't always have to buy things, put things in your mouth, or be delighted.

59. Write a thank-you note.

Make a habit of it. Follow a simple formula like this one: First line is a thesis statement. The second line is evidentiary. The third is a kind of assertion. Close on an uptick.

Thanks for having me over to watch game six. Even though they won, it's clear the Red Sox are a soulless, overmarketed contrivance of Fox TV. Still, I'm awfully happy you have that huge high-def television. Next time, I really will bring beer. Yours,

60. Be brand loyal to at least one product. It tells a lot about who you are and where you came from. Me? I like Hellman's mayonnaise and Genesee beer, which makes me the fleshy, stubbornly upstate ne'er-do-well that I will always be.

61. Cook bacon.

Lay out the bacon on a rack on a baking sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes.

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

62. Hold a baby.

Newborns should be wrapped tightly and held against the chest. They like tight spaces (consider their previous circumstances) and rhythmic movements, so hold them snug, tuck them in the crook of your elbow or against the skin of your neck. Rock your hips like you're bored, barely listening to the music at the edge of a wedding reception. No one has to notice except the baby. Don't breathe all over them.

63. Deliver a eulogy. Take the job seriously. It matters. Speak first to the family, then to the outside world. Write it down. Avoid similes. Don't read poetry. Be funny.

64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch. When I was a kid, because I'm Italian and because the Irish guys in my neighborhood were relentless with the beatings on St. Patrick's Day, I loved the very idea of Christopher Columbus. I loved the fact that Irish kids worshipped some gnome who drove all the rats out of Ireland or whatever, whereas my hero was an explorer. Man, I drank the Kool-Aid on that guy. Of course, I later learned that he was a hand-chopping, land-stealing egotist who sold out an entire hemisphere to European avarice. So I left Columbus behind. Your understanding of your heroes must evolve. See Roger Clemens. See Bill Belichick.

65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.

If you can't, play more ball.

68. Find his way out of the woods if lost. Note your landmarks -- mountains, power lines, the sound of a highway. Look for the sun: It sits in the south; it moves west. Gauge your direction every few minutes. If you're completely stuck, look for a small creek and follow it downstream. Water flows toward larger bodies of water, where people live.

69. Tie a knot.

Square knot: left rope over right rope, turn under. Then right rope over left rope. Tuck under. Pull. Or as my pack leader, Dave Kenyon, told me in a Boy Scouts meeting: "Left over right, right over left. What's so fucking hard about that?"

70. Shake hands. Steady, firm, pump, let go. Use the time to make eye contact, since that's where the social contract begins.

A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by.

71. Iron a shirt. My uncle Tony the tailor once told me of ironing: Start rough, end gently.

72. Stock an emergency bag for the car.

Blanket. Heavy flashlight. Hand warmers. Six bottles of water. Six packs of beef jerky. Atlas. Reflectors. Gloves. Socks. Bandages. Neosporin. Inhaler. Benadryl. Motrin. Hard candy. Telescoping magnet. Screwdriver. Channel-locks. Crescent wrench. Ski hat. Bandanna.

73. Caress a woman's neck. Back of your fingers, in a slow fan.

74. Know some birds. If you can't pay attention to a bird, then you can't learn from detail, you aren't likely to appreciate the beauty of evolution, and you don't have a clue how birdlike your own habits may be. You've been looking at them blindly for years now. Get a guide.

75. Negotiate a better price. Be informed. Know the price of competitors. In a big store, look for a manager. Don't be an asshole. Use one phrase as your mantra, like "I need a little help with this one." Repeat it, as an invitation to him. Don't beg. Ever. Offer something: your loyalty, your next purchase, even your friendship, and, with the deal done, your gratitude.

Find this article at: http://www.esquire.com/features/essential-skills-0508

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 55 replies

Marriage: Alive & Well in 2008?

2008-05-14T05:06:16Z

Maybe its me. Maybe it is the bay area of CA. Not sure, but started thinking about this today when one of my friends posted on her blog that she had proposed to her transgendered girlfriend and they were getting married. Now don't get me wrong, I wish them both all the best & think its wonderful however at the same time it did strike me as a very vanilla thing to do and therefore odd. Is marriage something that you consider for yourself? Do you feel the need or desire for a piece of paper from the state? A blessing from an organized religion?

Isn't a committment a comittment? If you commit to your partner does it really matter whether you do it alone with him or her, or if you do it with a priest, a judge or what have you? What do you think?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 48 replies

Something for the guys to aspire to...

2008-05-13T21:03:23Z

http://worldbeardchampionships.com/

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

Manhood, and the masculine divine

2008-05-12T20:48:36Z

Thoughts?
What are some good masculine deities? and what makes them good and why?
which MAle God best represents, ( to you) all the best qualities of Manhood?Why? and what are HIs qualities that make Him this way?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 64 replies

Vs.

2008-05-10T22:55:47Z

Browsing around something came to my mind.
I've seen Beautiful girls and average to (ahem) less than average guys.
I don't see many Beautiful guys with less than average girls.
Is it some sort of weird natural selection?

Any thoughts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 11 replies

Biological Clock - male perspective?

2008-05-10T19:21:16Z

Do you believe males have a biological clock? That at a time in their lives they find themselves wanting to have offspring, that the desire to procreate starts to overwhelm them emotionally?

I have to say I have never had a desire to have a family, never wanted to repeat my childhood & pass it onto another generation. However I do find as I get older the idea of simply "breeding", having generations follow behind me does appeal to a certain extent. I am not sure how much of it is a biological clock and how much is a Dominance thing instead.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 10 replies

Jewelry

2008-05-09T01:58:46Z

Sexy men: Have you even given a woman jewelry (or other token) that was once owned by an ex of yours? What would you think if your current squeeze wanted to wear something that was your ex's and is suppose to go to the children?

Do you wear any jewelry that was given to you by a love interest? What does it mean to you? And do you stop wearing it when the relationship is over?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 6 replies

What Do You Like About Women?

2008-05-07T05:44:04Z

Ok, serious question but totally open-ended.

Rather than cross-post the "Mothers' Day... What About Women's Day" in AASWA
http://askasexywomananything.tribe.net/thread/cd2560ec-ff4d-4b6e-a2db-695d983fcb0c
...I thought I'd cut to the chase and simply ask you all

What do you like about women? Of course, SEX and all that's connected with that, is a given. But what is it that you like about women that you would miss if they were all suddenly "like men". If they thought and talked and acted "like men do"? I know there is a huge generalization and stereotyping in there, but you get it.

For me, much of the playfulness, openess, love and attention I have had in my life is because of women. Sure, that is partly because of how *I* relate to them, compared to how I relate to men. Anyway, what about you, men (and women)?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 22 replies

Vanilla ~ its not just for baking anymore!

2008-05-06T13:36:52Z

So comments on the other thread got me curious. Do you consider the term Vanilla judgmental? If it is applied to you do you take offense?

Personally I find it curious, Vanilla much like breeder, gay or bi is a descriptive term to share some light on a persons lifestyle in my opinion not a judgment call although like all things in language it can be used in a vareity of ways and means.

Your thoughts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 36 replies

To bite or not to bite...

2008-05-04T16:20:15Z

To feel his teeth close gently, or not so gently, on my lower lip, neck, nipple, ass cheek, clit is extremely erotic to me. It puts an extra layer of intensity into my response to his foreplay efforts. I think it is the presense of the primal or danger element that is very thrilling in love making for me. I've also noticed he reacts just as positively when I use my teeth when I'm giving him head. Gently biting at his balls and cock is a very obvious turn on for him.

However, I often hear guys indicating "NO TEETH" when receiving oral. I'm just wondering how you feel about biting..gentle..and not so gentle. Turn on or definate no no?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 19 replies

Worst Pickup Lines

2008-05-04T06:05:24Z

Here's a website with some of Johnny Bravo's pickup lines. I think they're the worst I've ever heard!

http://www.geocities.com/architeuthismaris/bravowavs/bravowavs.html

Or, maybe has heard some worse ones?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

BACON!

2008-05-03T18:42:51Z

My love and I were listening to TV tonight and there was a commercial saying men loved bacon. So tell me, how do you feel about bacon?

I love mine crisp with a lot of real maple syrup!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 43 replies

For all you Hockey people....I got a question

2008-05-03T16:50:00Z

I happen to walk in when my dh was watching hockey the other day. The game was at the local arena where lots of things are held. Concerts, basketball games, ice shows, you name it... I wanted to know....how do they get the ice on the floor and how do they get it on so fast. I mean, just the day before there was an in door football game. I wanted to know if anyone knew, how do they get the ice on the arena floor???

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 3 replies

THE MAN RULES

2008-05-03T02:19:16Z

Now i just received these as a funny email, but it made me think, dangerous i know. but how many of you guys agree with all these rules which are all No 1 rules...?

**At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
> (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
> We always hear 'the rules'
> From the female side.

* ** **Now here are the rules from the male side.** ** *

** These are our rules!

***Please note.. these are all numbered '1 ' > ON PURPOSE!** ** *
>
*1. Men are NOT mind readers.
>
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. *
*If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
down. > You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it
> down.*

*1. Crying is blackmail.*

> *1. Ask for what you want.
> Let us be clear on this one:
> Subtle hints do not work!
> Strong hints do not work!
> Obvious hints do not work!
> Just say it!
>
> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers*
> *to almost every question.
>
> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> solving it. * > *That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
> are for.
>
> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
> argument. > In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
>
> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
> Don't ask us.
>
> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and
> one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
>
> 1. You can either ask us to do something
> Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
> If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
>
> 1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
> during
> commercials.
>
> 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
>
> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors.
> * Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color.
> *Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>
> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>
> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say
> 'nothing,'** We will act like nothings wrong. We know you are
> lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
>
> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,*
> *Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>
> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
> wear is fine... Really
>
> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> you are prepared to discuss such topics as **MOTORCYCLES OR POLITICS**.
>
> 1. You have enough clothes.
>
> 1. You have too many shoes.
>
> 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
>
> 1. Thank you for reading this.
> Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
> But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
>
> Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

How many of you agree?
>
> Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them
> a bigger laugh*
>

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 10 replies

talking about anal play and strapons...

2008-05-02T21:07:17Z

To the guys out there who enjoy receving anal play from girls, anal prostate massage, and strapon anal play with their gals- would you ever talk to friends about doing these things?
I and my wife enjoy it a lot from time to time- and like most guys I'll talk about sex with other guys. But I never talk about this. I guess I'm afraid of negative reaction, even though I know there is nothing gay or unmanly about it - I'm just enjoying sexual stimulation and giving my wife a good time too. But it's something fun to talk about, like other sex stuff, and I feel like my friends who don't know about it should at least consider it, it's very exciting, and I could do them a favor by telling them about it. Guys seem to have no hesitation in talking about doing anal with their girls getting it.
Do you have friends who talk to you about doing strapons or other anal stuff with their girls?
Also, guys how would feel if you did try a strapon or other anal play from your girl and she told her friends about it?
Thank god we have these online forums to talk about this stuff...

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 2 replies

How men feel about sex

2008-05-01T07:52:09Z

New research suggests that men feel and think about sex differently to women, and that an erection does not always make them feel interested in sex.

http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2008-04/iu-ih041508.php

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 18 replies

Hairy Chest/Body

2008-05-01T04:08:45Z

Do you enjoy keeping or allowing loads of hair to grow over your torso and body, or would you feel more comfortable having them waxed?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 6 replies

A "No-brainer"

2008-04-30T08:39:24Z

Ok, you hook up with a total "Babe", gorgeous from head to toe, BUT you suddenly discover she has what appears to be an 8th-grade education - can't spell, and hardly convincing she hasn't been raised in a single room by a TV set. I am not talking about the difference between sounding "schooled" vs good "horse-sense". I mean someone with neither. Is that a spoiler for you even if she's pretty and sexually enthusiastic?

Do you relegate her to "sex object" or do you take her seriously? How much of a prob can this be for you?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 36 replies

Underwear...

2008-04-29T01:02:40Z

While I would love to know what sort all you sexy guys wear... This is sort of a different post... Sort of...

The Boyfriend has a drawer full of holy underwear. He hates it. has gone out and gotten new underwear and they were not comfortable. So out they went and the holy ones stayed... But things are getting silly... It's been too long and even the Boyfriend is past happy about it. He hates to shop and asked if I could do some research on it to see where to go to get something he might like...

He used to like the banana hammocks by Jake... But has no idea where he got them...

He has very large thighs, so has trouble with the popular boxer briefs... He says that he feels too loose in regular boxers... And so on...

So... The question I guess is:

What sort of underwear do you wear? And if they are the sort of briefs, bikini- low rise kinds, where do you get them? Oh... and do they have that seam going down the front that makes the pouch rather than the in/out/around/through thing? (And does anyone actually use that thing? Wait no, don't answer that last one...)

Thanks!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 25 replies

Porn makes men fussy

2008-04-28T04:29:52Z

Men who watch porn do not become sexually beasts, but become picky over their real-life encounters

http://blogs.smh.com.au/lifestyle/asksam/archives/2008/04/is_porn_making_men_too_picky.html

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 21 replies

How do you feel about going Dutch on a date?

2008-04-26T05:30:29Z

Does it matter who makes more money? Or if it's early in a relationship or later?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 17 replies

Safer sex risks (Cross posted from AASWA)

2008-04-25T16:52:27Z

The blow job thread got me thinking about what is acceptable in "safer sex." Some consider a blow-job risk free, others a hand-job. I have a young male friend that just came down with an STD from a "drunken one night stand" where he used VERY poor judgement. I hear about some people bare-backing anal sex and having the attitude "I gotta die from something." Obviously, they have not watched a loved one suffer from AIDS like I have.

So what risks are you willing to take sexually? Does alcohol or drugs change your attitudes when it comes to safer sex? What happens when you find out you have been lied to about something of a sexual nature? Is there a sexual behaviour that a potential partner engages in that totally makes it so you won't sleep with them, no matter how much latex is between the two of you?

As I get older, I am willing to take less and less risk. Perhaps it is because there are other things more important than getting my rocks off. I think having my best friend die of AIDS did something to me as did knowing my ex's aunt died along with her husband because he could not be honest about his bi-sexuality.

I think this is one of the things that scare me a lot: people are not honest about their sexuality. The shame and privacy with which a lot of people regard sex is damaging. I have known many men who say one thing then do another thing. I have an ex-friend who is female that NEVER told sex partners she had HPV and herpes. I had no respect for her about this. I made it a point not to sleep with the same people she did.

I also get tested for everything at least once a year and often after a new sex partner even though I do practice safer sex. I always ask those I sleep with if they have been tested. I just never know if I should trust them. I guess this explains why I have people who want to fuck me, but I find "BOB" much less anxiety provoking.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 14 replies

what does it take?

2008-04-25T07:23:54Z

ok sexy men...
time to use your head above the shoulders!!

so my boyfriend is a wonderful guy... loving, sweet, thoughtful... yada yada
but yes, he is missing something at the moment, which has been driving me NUTS!!!
well, really its two things combined which have been really getting to me, and I don't quite know how to approach (though I have talked with him about them.. and not much has changed)

the first, is that he plays a computer game quite frequently. By frequent, I mean that pretty much ALL of his free time is spent playing this game, when he is not working, when he is not with me, when he is not sleeping... this is what he does...
plays this damn computer game. Although it does serve a good purpose from time to time when I am studying, and I need space, and it keeps him busy. but other than that, it just bugs the hell out of me! and he doesn't get why. Am I taking this a bit overboard? or is he really over doing it? and I need to approach it a better way for him to cut back on it!!!??? but how do I do that? and is this possibly a sign that he is depressed.... which leads me to the second...

and second, and this one is a bigy...

I am going to school, and going towards nursing... so my goals are set, and my future is planned... (at least what can be)
and he has absolutely NO drive to do the same...
he and his parents were going into business together about 6 months ago. Into "flipping houses." They bought a fixer upper at a good price, he worked his ass off to fix it up, and did a wonderful job at turning that place around... but then the market went to crap, and so did that dream of making that his future.... So, while I can see his frustration with not being able to continue what he had sought out since the market has changed... my frustration is that he has not come up with some sort of back up plan, or something to drive him for something successful in the future... not even near future... just any type of future!!!
what can I do, say, or how can I help drive him, or push him to get back into that side of him that has goals, and a drive to further himself and strive for some type of career??

hope this makes sense!
and as always.... thanks!!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 19 replies

Would men be more sensitive lovers if pegged at least once?

2008-04-22T22:06:44Z

My wife and I enjoy pegging, or her fucking me in the ass with a strap-on on dildo. We’re not into bondage or violence or her calling me bitch, it’s a very loving act. I enjoy the prostate stimulation a lot, and emotionally the feeling of giving myself to her is also hot, and she really enjoys the feeling of being in control of my pleasure.

Anyway, the experience has been fun and educational – I’ve learned how it feels to be penetrated and I think it has made me a more sensitive lover.

My question is if people think that men should try being receptive to penetration at least once to learn what it is like. Would this make men better, more sensitive lovers?

It has to be anal penetration since there isn’t anywhere else to do it on a guy, but being a more sensitive lover is especially important if a guy wants to do anal on a girl, so that may be the best place to learn.

Obviously I’m not suggesting that it become mandatory, but I’m curious if people think that that even if a couple didn’t want to make pegging a regular practice or even do it a second time, if it would be a good education for men to try at least once.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 5 replies

Now I am having fun!

2008-04-22T21:44:22Z

cross posted to AASWA...

At the advice of a lover on the west coast I joined OKcupid to try to find playmates on the east coast and wow!
So much better than match, eharmony , or any other I have checked out...they have categories for straight or LBGT and the tests and questions span the spectrum of possible relationship definitions including poly...and it is FREE!
Spring is here and I am wooing, emailing, talking to and meeting new people, yippee...now if only one of them would come out here for some sex I would be set for a few more days, LOL!
Here is to openess, new experiences and breaking down the boxes of relationship definitions...
Happy Spring everyone,
shekinah

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 2 replies

dollops and slippage?

2008-04-21T21:38:02Z

An adjunct to the whole kimono/size discussion. I find that when I'm going into extra innings, I have a problem with the condom getting tugged off. This is usually in a long session, where my hardness waxes and wanes, and with her on top making me part of her kegel exercises. Do you guys have this experience? What's causing it, and what can be done? Is it fit, or is what? If it helps, I readily to admit being pretty average in the size department. I've been using the trojan extra ribbed lately, and they seem to work pretty well, but really like the feel of the One brand, plus their packaging is great! Part of it too is that, with the condom especially, and given that I'm now into my forties, it tends to take a long time for me to climax.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 10 replies

Kimono condoms

2008-04-21T21:00:28Z

Guys, how do you feel about Kimono brand condoms or other ultra-thin varieties? Which extra thin brand is your fav or fits best?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 17 replies

masturbation and fainting... ?? help!!

2008-04-21T20:53:43Z

ok, this is a bit odd.... so a guy friend of mine got all freaked out the other day and came to me and told me that yesterday morning when he woke up, he had a boner that just wouldn't go away, so he masturbated... and after he came he fainted... I mean totally out cold
and he doesn't know how long he was out for, but woke up with a massive headache...
and today after having sex, he didn't cum, but afterward he had a massive headache again... which is totally our of the ordinary

have any of you sexy men ever experienced this???
kinda odd, and totally curious now....

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 12 replies

Oral after the "O"

2008-04-19T04:24:59Z

After he's cum deep inside me, I love to wrap my lips around his sensitive cock and gently drain the last drops of cream from him. The combined taste of our juices is a delicious elixir.

My question to all you sexy men is...do you enjoy feasting again on her pussy after you've filled her with your cream. I understand many are not in relationships where they are free to forego the protection of a rubber. But if you could...would you?

And to all you sexy women...do you enjoy when your partner feasts on your combined cream after the orgasms?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 13 replies