Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING's topics - tribe.net

Too much, too late?

Lynn — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 06:19:30 GMT

I have been dating this guy for 2 yrs now. During that time there has been no romance so to speak. We felt more like friends with benefits. The only time we spent together was dinner (usually at his house) and TV. With the exception of an occassional family gathering on holidays, we NEVER did anything together during the day in 2 yrs! There were no heart to heart talks, no intimacy, rarely a kiss outside the bedroom, etc. In 2 yrs he'd only even been to my house 2x. I assume you are getting the picture. Well I stuck around thinking it might develop into something eventually. Recently I guess I was giving up and getting ready to move on. I guess he sensed this because he literally changed overnight. Suddenly he was calling several times a day, sending flowers, planning romantic getaways, trying to kiss me constantly, coming over to make me dinner, etc. Now granted these are normal things in a relationship but we had none of this in 2 years and now it is non-stop. I feel like I am in someone else's relationship. The whole thing just feels fake.....and he gets mad at me because I am not being receptive. Well it is freaking me out and I am very uncomfortable. I have tried to tell him that these efforts are nice but that the relationship is changing too fast and to slow down a little. He gets upset because he thought "this was what I wanted." Well, I did, but I didn't want it shoved down my throat and I wanted it to happen naturally. Another thing......For 2 years, I've gone out alone with friends on weekends and now, suddenly, he is inviting himself wherever I go (even to the point of going to places I know he will be miserable). I can't help but feeling he is suddenly "butting into my life." I think its great he is making such an effort but it all just feels so contrived. The more he tries, the more I pull away because it feels so awkward. He claims he loves me and just didn't show it for 2 years. Thing is, I never felt loved before, and now all I feel is pressure. Any suggestions???

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

Do men and women ever have equal relationships?

aschleigh — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 17:41:42 GMT

This artcile from CNN is an extreme example but how different a society do we live in? We have a lack of medical care for women who are sexually active, we have a lack of education for all people, we still have a differnece is salaries between men and women who do the same job? Poverty, etc.. American women put up with abuse for financial reasons ( IE survival) . Are we different?
As the last big discussion in ask a sexy man anything attests, financial differences are a huge source of fighting with couples. Can there be an equal relationship in this society ( or any other) with disperat income levels?

AMMAN, Jordan (CNN) -- A 12-year-old Yemeni girl, who was forced into marriage, died during a painful childbirth that also killed her baby, a children's rights group said Monday.

Fawziya Ammodi struggled for three days in labor, before dying of severe bleeding at a hospital on Friday, said the Seyaj Organization for the Protection of Children.

"Although the cause of her death was lack of medical care, the real case was the lack of education in Yemen and the fact that child marriages keep happening," said Seyaj President Ahmed al-Qureshi.

Born into an impoverished family in Hodeidah, Fawziya was forced to drop out of school and married off to a 24-year-old man last year, al-Qureshi said.

Child brides are commonplace in Yemen, especially in the Red Sea Coast where tribal customs hold sway. Hodeidah is the fourth largest city in Yemen and an important port.

More than half of all young Yemeni girls are married off before the age of 18 -- many times to older men, some with more than one wife, a study by Sanaa University found.
While it was not immediately known why Fawziya's parents married her off, the reasons vary. Sometimes, financially-strapped parents offer up their daughters for hefty dowries.

Marriage means the girls are no longer a financial or moral burden to their parents. And often, parents will extract a promise from the husband to wait until the girl is older to consummate the marriage.

The issue of Yemeni child brides came to the forefront in 2008 with 10-year-old Nujood Ali.

She was pulled out of school and married to a man who beat and raped her within weeks of the ceremony.

To escape, Nujood hailed a taxi -- the first time in her life -- to get across town to the central courthouse where she sat on a bench and demanded to see a judge.

After a well-publicized trial, she was granted a divorce.

The Yemeni parliament tried in February to pass a law, setting the minimum marriage age at 17. But the measure has not reached the president because many parliamentarians argued it violates sharia, or Islamic law, which does not stipulate a minimum age

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 101 replies

Strip clubs

lindabelly — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:24:54 GMT

There are a lot of women who draw the line at their "significant others" frequenting strip clubs. It’s the source of many arguments, especially when he stumbles home late, drunk, his lap sprinkled with glitter, reeking of cheap perfume and baby powder.

And why shouldn’t women feel insecure about their man seeking out and paying for the attention of other women? It’s basically cheating, right? No bodily fluids are exchanged, but the intention is there, right?

Even guys who totally WORSHIP their HOT, rock star girlfriends? There’s the obvious answer: to look at naked boobs that aren’t the boobs attached to the rock star girlfriends they totally adore.

If we ladies/women knows why our MEN GO to THESE PLACES…MAYBE (JUST MAYBE) WE wouldn’t flip out, or worry, or insist that we tag along to chaperone….lol

So tell us…FROM THE MEN’S POINT OF VIEW…why is it that guys love strip clubs?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 17 replies

Mr Wonderful!

Pineapple2 — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 03:38:19 GMT

I just discovered the talking "Mr Wonderful Doll" What a crack up!

What do you think women find most charming in a man? In other words, if you were trying, what would be some of the things you *believe* would achieve her adoration? You know... think of you as just oh, so adorable! (I don't mean sexy)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 31 replies

Flogging question

petra — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 06:28:26 GMT

I was thinking of getting a flogger that was super soft, and that can make a gentle bum flogging session relaxing..Is that possible, and what material and length should the tassels be? I saw ones that were rubber and felt soft but i dont know if it would sting too much on bare skin. Basically i want minimal stinging and dont know what to look for.

Oh, another question, is it possible to do self-flogging (if thats a word)?

Thanks everyone :)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 11 replies

Threesomes

simon_p — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 17:27:07 GMT

Have you had them or are they just a fantasy? If you have had them then, thumbs up or thumbs down, did you like them or not and why? This question is open to everyone regardless of gender or orientation, that being the case please identify what sort of threesome it was or you would like, i.e. mmf, ffm, etc.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 74 replies

facial expressions

Wanderingwolf — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 22:23:28 GMT

allright guys, i dont know if im just being sensitive here or what, so im asking to see if im just a freak or not.

All my life i have been concerned with the quality of my loveplay, i NEED my partner to feel SINCERELY satisfied, otherwise i literally cannot feel fullfilled myself, so my question to you is: Does the facial expression of your partner change how much you YOURSELF are enjoying sex, and to what degree?

Ive seen this addressed in various other forms, but for me it is not just"chemistry" or "empathy" or what have you, its also the look on the girls face, if she is not LOOKING like shes as into it as i want her to be, as immersed in the moment, then i feel like im not doing my job, or that there may be some hidden issues on her side that she may not be telling me about. Does any other guy go through this crap?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 7 replies

Have you ever had an orgasm that blew the top of your head off?

aschleigh — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:48:56 GMT

I had an orgasm once that felt like a bomb went off in my head. Has anyone had that kind of orgasm? I know it is very different from a clitoral orgasm. I have always wondered if men were having basically clitoral ( body centered) orgasms or were they having blow-the-top-of-your head off orgasms? Or a combination thereof. The orgasm I am talking about is really noticeable because it feels like a bomb and comes with a tiny bit of unconsciousness it feels like. I am reading a bit of this book Transcendent Sex by Jenny Wade and it sounds like what she is talking about in terms of sex that lifts the veils of our reality. If you know of any literature about it, please send the link.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 10 replies

Conjugal Love

aschleigh — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:10:18 GMT

This article was posted on ask a sexy women anything by Jsin. I am reposting it here .
I love it, it sounds true to me.

Thoughts on Conjugal Love

Eric Schwitzgebel

Department of Philosophy

University of California at Riverside

Riverside CA 92521

June 4, 2003

Two friends recently asked me to contribute something to their wedding ceremony. Since I’m a philosophy professor, I thought I would take the occasion to reflect a bit on the nature of conjugal love, the distinctive kind of love between a husband and wife.

The common view that love is a feeling is, I think, quite misguided. Feelings come and go, while love is steady. Feelings are “passions” in the classic sense of ‘passion’ which shares a root with ‘passive’. They strike us largely unbidden. Love, in contrast, is something actively built. The passions suffered by teenagers and writers of romantic lyrics, felt so painfully, and often so temporarily, are not love – though in some cases they may be a prelude to it.

Rather than a feeling, love is a way of structuring one’s values, goals, and reactions. One characteristic of it is a deep commitment to the good of the other for his or her own sake. (This characterization of love owes quite a bit to Harry Frankfurt.) We all care about the good of other people we meet and know, for their own sake and not just for utilitarian ends, to some extent. Only if the regard is deep, though, only if we so highly value the other’s well-being that we are willing to thoroughly restructure and revise our own goals to accommodate it, and only if this restructuring is so well-rooted that it instantly and automatically informs our reactions to the person and to news that could affect him or her, do we possess real love.

Conjugal love involves all this, certainly. But it is also more than this. In conjugal love, one commits oneself to seeing one’s life always with the other in view. One commits to pursuing one’s major projects, even when alone, always in a kind of implicit conjunction with the other. One’s life becomes a co-authored work.

The love one feels for a young child may in some ways be purer and more unconditional than conjugal love. One expects nothing back from a young child. One needn’t share ideals to enjoy parental love. The child will grow away into his or her own separate life, independent of the parents’ preferences.

Conjugal love, because it involves the collaborative construction of a joint life, can’t be unconditional in that way. If the partners don’t share values and a vision, they can’t steer a mutual course. If one partner develops a separate vision or does not openly and in good faith work with the other toward their joint goals, conjugal love is impossible and is, at best, replaced with some more general type of loving concern.

Nonetheless, to dwell on the conditionality of conjugal love, and to develop a set of contingency plans should it fail, is already to depart from the project of jointly fabricating a life and to begin to develop a set of individual goals and values opposing those of the partner. Conjugal love requires an implacable, automatic commitment to responding to all major life events through the mutual lens of marriage. One cannot embody such a commitment if one harbors persistent thoughts about the contingency of the relationship and serious back-up plans.

There may be an appearance of paradox in the idea that conjugal love requires a lifelong commitment without contingency plans, yet at the same time is conditional in a way parental love is not. But there is no paradox. If one believes that something is permanent, one can make lifelong promises and commitments contingent upon it, because one believes the contingency will never come to pass. This then, is the significance of the marriage ceremony: It is the expression of a mutual unshakeable commitment to build a joint life together, where each partner’s commitment is possible, despite the contingency of conjugal love, because each partner trusts the other’s commitment to be unshakeable.

A deep faith and trust must therefore underlie true conjugal love. That trust is the most sacred and inviolable thing in a marriage, because it is the very foundation of its possibility. Deception and faithlessness destroy conjugal love because, and exactly to the extent that, they undermine the grounds of that trust. For the same reason, honest and open interchange about long-standing goals and attitudes stands at the heart of marriage.

Passion alone can’t ground conjugal trust. Neither can shared entertainments and the pleasure of each other’s company. Both partners must have matured enough that their core values are stable. They must be unselfish enough to lay everything on the table for compromise, apart from those permanent, shared core values. And they must be shorn of the tendency to form secret, individual goals. Only to the degree they approach these ideals are they worthy of the trust that makes conjugal love possible.

www.faculty.ucr.edu/~eschwit...lLove.htm

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 2 replies

How Often Do You Shave?

dsoul — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 15:51:19 GMT

I can't seem to want to keep any hair around or under my chin for more than four days. How about you?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 9 replies

Sexiest Season?

rorybowman — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 14:24:06 GMT

What do you men think is the sexiest season? Winter? Spring? Summer? Fall? Why do you feel that season is, for you, the sexiest?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 8 replies

Would you join this tribe?

Stew — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:05:44 GMT

http://tribes.tribe.net/65ca4bde-0272-47ba-9837-297a41b8d9dd?_click_path=Application%5Btribe%5D.Tribe%5B65ca4bde-0272-47ba-9837-297a41b8d9dd%5D

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 5 replies

Growing Bald

dsoul — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:30:37 GMT

I'd like to ask all the men in here this question: Is there anything us men ought to be scared about when it comes down to us gradually loseing our hair towards growing bald? Is that something that's obvious to scare the ladies away?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 9 replies

Calling all cocks or ??

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:15:52 GMT

What is the worst thing you can imagine a sexual partner calling your cock? Oh gosh, I hope no one says "cock". If so...my bad. As a writer I've used a lot of terms for that very special appendage. I would just like to know what NOT to call "it".

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 15 replies

Best places in the country to meet sexy women

Ron — Wed, 18 Apr 2007 20:33:56 GMT

I've had a sailors life, been to 49 out of 50 so far. I've met sexy women all over the country. Sexy men, where are your favorite places in the country to meet sexy women?

My short list:

Savannah, Georgia
Hollywood, California
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Santa Fe, New Mexico

and of course the San Francisco Bay Area!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 94 replies

What do you wish women would know?

aschleigh — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:27:14 GMT

And if you say a blowjob is going to save your marriage than I will not be betting on your marriage being saved.

One thing I am noticing is that women are some times hard to talk to ( men are too) some people are highly reactice and don't have the skills to stay calm long enough to hear things.
I bet I would learn a lot about women if I were to try to date them.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 5 replies

A chick that gets it

JSin — Mon, 11 May 2009 13:30:33 GMT

http://igetdick.com/blowjobs-save-marriges/

The sad part is women that really need to read the article won't

JSin

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 111 replies

To the sexy men out there...

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:43:06 GMT

Is there anything sexy about arguing the same topic to a bloody death for nearly three months?

Well assuming your answer is no, then:

In the last 24 hours what is the sexiest thing you have done, seen, heard, tasted, or contemplated.

And whatever you do, please don't mention BLOWJOB. Lord knows that one's had the life sucked out of it, you should pardon the pun.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 29 replies

500 days of summer/ The Wackness

aschleigh — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 19:04:18 GMT

Has anybody seen these movies? They are young men coming of age pics , which is not a new genre but I find those movies particularly affecting. They seem to be the kind of young men who only knew feminist mothers. And are emotionally very brave, without the movie or the other characters implying that they are gay or less than men for being so. Lars and the Real Girl could possibly fit in here too but it's different. But still about young men wanting to connect and being emtionally honest and having troubles and learning and growing from their experiences and it's really, really HOT! Makes young men look even juicier than usual . It seems that ( at least in the movies, but I think they are reflecting a real phenomena) that young men are taking an emotional breadth that is bigger than previous generations and again ,awesome and sexy and great. What do you think?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 0 replies

the "Chase/Hoops"

Pineapple2 — Wed, 13 May 2009 09:05:56 GMT

Do you take the idea of "the Chase" as romantic?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 13 replies

ahem!

tangerine23 — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:01:23 GMT

Banned in Germany:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/sprite-blow-job-ad-banned_n_240851.html

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 7 replies

Did I tell you lately how much I love men!

aschleigh — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 21:12:54 GMT

Men, they ( you) are great. Micheal Jackson died and he was a man, so full of talent and energy , so traumatized by his childhood. Men are going through some really interesting things in their evolution. ( so are women) . I am reminded by every guy I date that men have some of the tenderest hearts and the greatest skin on the planet. And those minds. and Bodies.

So here's to men. It's looks tough. It's looks fun. It looks like flux is affecting us all.
Let's talk about how awesome men are ( especially the hot , conscious ones for me) . And the challenges faces men today. Men as fathers, men as CEO's, men as sons, men as artists, men as warriers, men as lovers,men as spiritual beings.
Let's celebrate all that men are today. ( maybe a little of the celebrating will splash back on women too)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 44 replies

What is your favorite part to kiss on your partner?

MinxGrrl — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 18:38:56 GMT

I am sure it has been discussed before, but it never hurts to bring it up again :)

So guys where do you like to kiss, lick, caress on others?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 10 replies

What's your reaction to this... more David Deida?

aschleigh — Mon, 18 May 2009 23:45:55 GMT

Women complain all the time that men don’t commit, or don’t want to commit, or are afraid of committing

The truth is, that this fear of commitment stems only partly from guys’ legendary fear of losing “freedom.” It also stems from something far deeper…

Namely — a lack of grounding in WHY he has pursued her in the first place.

If a man pursues a relationship with a woman for selfish reasons, then when she pulls away and the “relationship” becomes more trouble than pleasure, naturally he will head on to something that is less trouble.

But if a man chooses a woman in order to serve her, to be a steadfast catalyst of her blooming into greater offering and a fuller expression of her love, or as David words it here, “to open her heart to God” — his response will be very different…

As he says…

“If you have chosen a woman in order to open her heart to God, and she’s running, and you know you can open her heart to God, then you owe it to her to keep her with you so you can open her heart to God. Why would you let someone be less than they can be if you love them?”
– From “The Love That Washes Through Patterns,” a talk by David Deida

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 109 replies

psychosexual response and "love addiction"

MissPixxieStyx — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 01:17:54 GMT

Ok, I have a question that google is not answering. I am trying to understand the physiological response to psychological sexual stimuli. Also I believe that "love addiction" is not always unhealthy or destructive. What do you all think?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 11 replies

babies

tangerine23 — Tue, 26 May 2009 23:30:26 GMT

So many people are having kids right now. Some people say every baby is beautiful, but I just don't feel that way.
What do you say when confronted with the inevitable question? I want to say "Yes" but I know I may be lying.
Do you think every baby is beautiful? Am I just missing something?

Besides that, it's hard for me to be happy for people that I know are terribly dysfunctional. How do you circumnavigate this?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 13 replies

A woman having a Harem of guys...

SensuALLYty — Wed, 27 May 2009 08:26:23 GMT

Could you handle it, accept it, and agree to it?

Everything up front no games...... to know that you are not required to meet every need of that woman. If you want time just ask and you will be fit in. I am not talking about being emotionally attached...but wait... lets put that out there. So you could meet that womans emotional love needs... but there are many facets to her nature. The onus of meeting every single need of that woman is not on you. You have her heart if that is what you seek but there are others involved with her sexually...Love does NOT meet sex.. How does it make you feel? Can you accept a woman being able to see others like another man? If you couldn't could you still respect that her that she could do this?

First answer on a no emotional attachment facet and then on an emotional attachment facet

Just askin

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 15 replies

Women: That's Just Not Sexy!

BlacKateMoss — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 18:55:53 GMT

There have to be things that women do/say that we may think is sexy, but it's just... NOT!

I just wanted a thread for you guys( and in some cases girls) to list your complaints, random stories of sexy gone bad, and so forth. What should we STOP(!) doing??

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 36 replies

Very cute Durex condom comercial

JSin — Tue, 05 May 2009 14:14:45 GMT

http://www.yourdailymedia.com/media/1232728366/Get_It_On

This is moderately safe for work.

JSin

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 2 replies

Hurting Men's feelings.....

aschleigh — Wed, 13 May 2009 22:17:52 GMT

I have only realized lately how much I probably have hurt the feelings of the men in my life. I think I've had this attitude ( certainly not totally my fault) from society that men can handle things . I know I have had sex with men without caring about their feelings ( they didn't necesarrily care about mine either) . Men are really vulnerable in some ways. Men don't tend to say " that hurt my feelings" . Or " I deserve my feelings to be taken into account here" . I've said some mean things in arguments. I was trying to hurt their feelings because I felt so hurt myself. But I realize that men are really hurt by women, often their mothers ( IE way before I enter the picture )Maybe men will speak up more now. Do you think men who are more aware of their feelings and more likely to speak up ? Do you think society is creating more spaces for men to epxress themselves?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 22 replies

Simple Sex Question

Pineapple2 — Sun, 17 May 2009 11:07:03 GMT

What do you like about sex?

BESIDES the physical sensations and orgasm!

I like the closeness. To know someone sexually is so very private: You never un-know that even if your relationship ends. I remember every woman I've had sex with, and in a way that I remember no other people. That's one of the things I like about it.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 0 replies

Are Women Getting Better These Days?

Pineapple2 — Fri, 15 May 2009 01:02:31 GMT

Are Women Getting Better?: Are they making it easier to engage with men - find the meeting of heart and mind, emotions, sex-drive and intellectual stimulation between men and women? Are they less driven by stereo-types of the different roles of men in the office, and the marriage bed?

There is no debate as to whether women have gone through a revolution in sexuality the past few decades. Assuming women are much more in tune with their sexuality today, do you feel they communicate that new attitude effectively? Is theirs a clear message of the total-self, including the sexual-self?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 31 replies

Do you think men are getting better ( in general, in specifics)?

aschleigh — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 18:02:09 GMT

Do you think men are getting better at engaging women on our ( tradionally) turf? Like engaging in the emotional , spiritual side of a relationship. Or doing the inner work that it takes to be a conscious, compassionate human being?

I actually know from experience that women have been getting better at ( tradionally ) male things. Like earning half the money , being politicians, etc..

Are we becoming better , more rounded people?
Are men having more opportunities to engage women at levels and places they they used to not go or were they always there and most men just didn't do it?
Like my grandpa or still I see men who go to work and pay bills and stay out of the fray of childrearing and the emotion connectedness of an intimate relationship, do any women put up with that anymore?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 55 replies

Committed until someone better comes along.......is this a crime?

Lynn — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 01:50:29 GMT

I am wondering how men perceive this..... I am in a committed relationship. It is not serious, no real future in it, but in this day and age I prefer to stick with one man at a time for the obvious health reasons. After all, its not a bad relationship, it just isn't going anywhere. I've got nothing else going on and I like regular sex, so, why not? Of course if someone were to come along that I was really interested in, I would mostly likely end the relationship before (or maybe immediately after) having sex with a new guy. That doesn't seem so unusual to me. So I meet this guy 2 weeks ago and he asks me if I'm involved with someone and I try to explain this (perhaps not as well as above) and his reaction was kind of like "well, its usually either yes or no." Is it for men? I think he was kind of put off by my answer....you know, that I was involved but would go to dinner with him anyway. I am sure that there are guys out there that have girlfriends that they are pretty much keeping around until someone "better" comes along. (Meaning, better for them in the long run, not in a derogatory way). Is this that uncommon? What would you think and how would you respond if a woman said that to you? (PS......its been 2 weeks and he never actually called to make the dinner date).

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 22 replies

so many shootings (Xposted)

tangerine23 — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 03:19:22 GMT

It seems like people are flipping their shit. Are we just hearing about it more or has it actually increased?
Why do you think this is? People freaking out over Obama? Fear of gun control? The recession? Glen Beck?
Killing people IRL is not sexy.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 26 replies

Question for my fellow men/brothers

Peeeeeeeeeet — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:21:46 GMT

****Warning: Cross Post - I posted this in a certain other tribe too but did not get many responses and hence looking for help here as well****

lately I seem to have trouble ejaculating while a woman is giving me head. I wonder why this is the case and if I am doing/thinking anything wrong. I dont think there is anything wrong with the girls giving me head (meaning nothing wrong in their technique). As shameful as it seems, I seem to go limp when someone is giving me head or even when I am inside a girl wearing a condom. I last a bit longer(before I go limp) without a condom. I seem to cum only by using my own hand and of late this has gotten very frustrating even to the point of sex not being a turn on! btw ... I am not circumsized ... not that that matters but just saying that for reference as well.

I am early 30s ... in decent shape and have good - moderate work outs 3-4 days a week. Thanks to these difficulties I seem t have end up watching a lot of porn and getting off. Someone in the other tribe pointed out maybe that is a vicious circle in itself.

what should I do to get out of this cycle and start enjoying sex again? any pointers would be helpful.

I am just being totally honest and seeking helpful opinions and feedbacks from my fellow men. Please, I beg you ... no bad jokes (happened in another email group) .... this is embarrassing enough to admit such a thing and talk about it openly as it is ... people retorting with jokes for such a topic is very hurtful. :-(

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 8 replies

Self-reflection and Men

aschleigh — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 18:00:38 GMT

Very informal survey of all the topics posted by men and I saw two that were written by men that had any self-reflective quality to them. ( find more, please post about them)
What men want? could be about what men want in themselves ( but often was about what men want in others)
Jaded? Was about being sexually jaded , could involve self-reflection.
I didn't survey ask a sexy women anything but I'll look , I'll bet there is more self-reflection/ self devulging there.

Are men wired ( no one is hard wired , it's all soft and flexable we have found out) to not do a lot of self-reflection?
Do the times we are living in having any bearing on men's ability to self-reflect?
Does it make a difference to see men who are obvisouly very self-reflection ( Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Barack) and men who are not like George Bush? Is some of it economic staus and leisure time , or geography and age or intelligence and emotional intelligence?
Will it become more or less important to be able to self-reflect for men in the future?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 17 replies

Normal Life

AutoFellator — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 03:18:16 GMT

Will we ever achieve?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 3 replies

Hi, I'm new. Question: If he can't keep it up....

daffodilhoward — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 21:40:03 GMT

Hi,

I'm Delia. Thanks Simon for this tribe. I spent some times browsing through old threads and I'm really impressed with the topics and the heartfelt replies. This is a COOL tribe! I'm tempted to resurrect some of my favorite old threads just to add my 2c.

So here's my first question for Sexy guys.. and women too:

He can’t keep it up and I want to know why. What do I say/do? What’s the right way to approach it?

We’ve only slept together once. In all respects it was mind blowing. I’ve never experienced anything like it… I want more! But he kept losing his erection. I want to know why. Is it something I’m doing/not doing? Is he not enjoying himself as much as I am?

He's NOT shy. He's in good physical shape (mmmm, really good!). It was morning so we were both well rested.

How do I ask? I looked him in the eye and asked if he was ok, he said yes. Too subtle? Should I be more direct? When? If it happens again, or before it happens again? I'm afraid I'll chase it away for good if I say the wrong thing!

I'm seeing him again tomorrow morning (the anticipation is almost painful). Any advice would be appreciated.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 14 replies

do you think your sexy ?

missouriboy — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 20:57:33 GMT

hmmmm ?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 13 replies

American vs "Foreign" Women

Pineapple2 — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:29:45 GMT

Other than the sexiness of an accent in speech, do you think American women are missing something important you usually find in women from foreign cultures? Values, character, etc.?? I once worked as a cook on an NCL cruise ship with crew mainly from India, Ukraine and other European countries. It left me an impression that they were more down to earth and much more direct in expressing themselves. Of course, even at my age, I consider my experience limited, so I don't have that many examples to compare between. What's your experience of foreign vs American women. By foreign, I mean one born and/or at least raised in a culture outside of the USA.

And what is with the Asian women treat you like a king.... myth?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 16 replies

What exactly is the woman of quality to you?

Pineapple2 — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 03:58:12 GMT

We often here about women or men "of quality" in tribes. What is it that you personally consider the difference between a woman "of quality" and one who is not? Do you feel there are more or less of them these days? Which sort of follows Ashleigh's question but changes gender focus - do you think WOMEN are getting better?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 14 replies

predicting prowess

tangerine23 — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 07:27:58 GMT

Do you know if someone's going to rock it in the sack before going there? How did you know?
Have you been pleasantly surprised or horribly disappointed?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 12 replies

Jaded?

Pineapple2 — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:48:04 GMT

Do you consider yourself romantically/sexually jaded?

Welcome to the club.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 12 replies

cock rings ?

Sparky — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 17:05:50 GMT

do cock rings work? Do they keep you erect after ejaculation?
What other benefits or draw backs to they have?
Any problem with comfort for you or her?

I have no experience Id like to hear.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 23 replies

Post your fine

lindabelly — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 08:02:11 GMT

This is fun to do. Just read the "offense" and if you've done it, you
owe that fine. Keep going until you've read each "offense" and added up
your total fine. When you are done, post your fine. Title your post "My fine is
$........" You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of
your fine.

Smoked pot -- $10

Did acid -- $5

Ever had s@x at church -- $25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40

Had s@x with someone on MySpace -- $25

Had s@x for money -- $100

Ever had s@x with the a Puerto Rican -- $20

Vandalized something -- $20

Had s@x on your parents' bed -- $10

Beat up someone -- $20

Been jumped -- $10

Crossed dressed -- $10

Given money to stripper -- $25

Been in love with a stripper -- $20

Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10

Hit on some one of the same s@x while at work -- $15

Ever drive drunk -- $20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk -- $50

Used toys while having s@x -- $30

Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20

Went skinny dipping -- $5

Had s@x in a pool -- $20

Kis$ed someone of the same s@x -- $10

Had s@x with someone of the same s@x -- $20

Cheated on your significant other -- $10

M@sturbated -- $10

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20

Done or@l -- $5

Got or@l -- $5

Done / got or@l in a car while it was moving -- $25

Stole something -- $10

Had s@x with someone in jail -- $25

Made a nasty home video -- $15

Had a threes0me -- $50

Had s@x in the wild -- $20

Been in the same room while someone was having s@x -- $25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20

Had s@x with someone 10 years older -- $20

Had s@x with someone under 21 and you are over 27 -- $25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50

Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25

Went streaking -- $5

Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15

Been arrested -- $5

Spent time in jail -- $15

Peed in the pool -- $50

Played spin the bottle -- $5

Done something you regret -- $20

Had s@x with your best friend -- $20

Had s@x with someone you work with at work -- $25

Had an@l s@x -- $80

Lied to your mate -- $5

Lied to your mate about the s@x being good -- $25

Tally it up and Title it..."My Fine Is..."

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 26 replies

the video i star in

Tue, 21 Apr 2009 04:11:41 GMT

i just found out that for the
past 2 months my pharmacist
made a HUGE mistake
instead of 1 mg of Risperdal
i was getting .5 i'm supposed
to take 2 mg a dday
yyeah i knlow i have the giggles
But i delare a DEFAULT
oh i might of had feelings for some one
BUT i DIDN;T LOVE HIM THE WAY I
DO AND DID ERIC FRANCIS
HE'S WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND I FEEL JOY
AND HAPPINESS FOR HIM
to show her i bought everything for their sacred union
evevn including the rings,,,
that's love..that's compersion? that's jost me

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

performing for your lover

nahema — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 16:56:13 GMT

Gentlemen, I have a question.
Is it common for a woman to enjoy watching you self pleasure? Have lovers asked to watch you perform? Do they find it unpleasant or a turn on to discover you in the midst of self pleasuring?
I love to watch a 'performance', and always have, but I know some women who find it offensive.
I was under the impression that this is rather commonplace activity called "mutual masturbation" but in my circle of women friends it's not so common. (at least that's what they're telling me)

hmmmmm......thoughts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 14 replies

Top Sex Fantasies

gypsy_scholar — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 21:36:15 GMT

Fantasy has long been a rich part of mankind’s sex life; but it wasn’t until recently that Sexologists began undertaking “scientific” research into what part, and to what extent, fantasy plays a part in our sexuality.

Researchers such as like Alfred Kinsey, Masters and Johnson, Shere Hite and Nancy Friday have all made groundbreaking discoveries - but there have also been other findings - such as, women’s fantasies are more likely to involve their partners, whereas men’s often have to do with Jenna Jameson’s car breaking down at the side of the road.

Investigators at lavalife.com recently presented the following list (described as some semi-scientific research into what the top fantasies of both sexes are, whether and how they differ, and what if anything, all this means):

Top Male Sex Fantasies

It’s safe to say, since guys spend most of their time trying to figure out how to get sex, and then avoiding the phone afterwards, that a lot of their fantasies are about power. In other words, some of their favourite reveries reflect the desire to skip the perennial smile-and-wink, followed by dinner-and-a-movie, and get straight to the action.

10. Domination / Submission. Bondage and sex slave fantasies are popular scenarios. However, since most guys are too lazy to learn how to tie a proper knot, there’s little need to worry about coming home to find ropes tied to the bedposts.

9. Harem. This is the one where he’s the only male in a room full of willing women. And no, we’re not talking about The View.

8. Younger woman / older woman. This one’s fairly obvious. For some reason guys seem predisposed to feeling an attraction for women out of their age range, whether younger (for breeding) or older (for learning). Blame it on evolution.

7. Orgy. This is one of those fantasies that are probably better left un-acted-upon. Sure, it seems like a good idea at the time but the planning, the etiquette and the ensuing awkwardness cancel out the initial thrill. Errr, not that we’d know for sure.

6. Watching your girlfriend / spouse with another man. Again, probably best un-acted upon. Just rent ‘Indecent Proposal’ instead.

5. Forbidden fruit. Having sex with the boss’s wife while on the phone with the boss; his girlfriend’s sister coming over and catching him in a pair of your high heels - if it’s wrong and morally base, he’s probably imagined it at some point.

4. Sex with a stranger. This one always livens up the commute to work.

3. Role-playing / Costumes. As clichéd as it sounds, guys do want you to dress up as a Nurse / French maid / Princess Leia and not just at Halloween.

2. Sex on location. Probably the office would make a lot of guys’ number one place, outside of home, to have sex; the aisles of Office Depot, though, would probably be a distant 9th or 10th.

1. Threesome. If you guessed this as the number one male fantasy, give yourself (and your girlfriend) a pat on the back (preferably in front of your boyfriend).

Top Female Sex Fantasies

Women’s sex fantasies differ from men’s in that their scenarios are more likely to transgress societal conventions. Since women’s behaviour is viewed more judgmentally, their fantasies are more likely to involve doing what they’re not supposed to - i.e., “being bad.” At least, that’s what our research (Girls Gone Wild in Cancun) indicates.

10. Voyeurism. Yes, she wants to watch as much as you do. Almost.

9. Exhibitionism. This is a big one, particularly in today’s over-sexed climate. But women have been exhibiting themselves since as early as 1950, maybe even earlier.

8. Domination / Forced sex. As politically incorrect as it is to say, research puts this hot potato fantasy pretty high up on the list. According to Masters and Johnson, the “forced-sex scenario” is second only to taking a different partner than her current beau; according to Nancy Friday (My Secret Garden), it’s second to none. We have to stress, though, this is fantasy we’re talking about, people.

7. Sex in a public place. Here’s some overlap with the guys’; however, we wouldn’t be surprised if women showed a little more imagination when it came to sex out in the world. Such as, at a pro-sports game, with all the action caught on the JumboTron.

6. Two or more guys. Maybe it’s because porn seems to have taken over a large portion of society, but we’re guessing that this fantasy rates more highly in current studies than it did when Masters and Johnson first began conducting their investigations.

5. Older woman / younger man. Call this the “Mrs. Robinson” (after The Graduate) scenario. The fantasy of seducing a much younger man - her son’s friend, perhaps? - is probably one of the oldest in the book.

4. Having a man as a sex slave. More than the sexual favours, what really turns women on about this one is the housekeeping possibilities.

3. Sapphic romp. Wishful thinking on men’s part or as real as Mardi Gras…? Since most women admit to having sexual feelings at one time or another for another woman, and since the success of Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl,” we’re guessing the latter.

2. High-priced call girl. What woman hasn’t considered, at least fleetingly, the possibilities of somehow making cash money in a way frowned upon by society? The illicitness, not to mention illegality, of prostitution makes for some sizzling fantasy fodder.

1. Being carried off by a sexy stranger. One need only look at the sheer volume of romance novels sold to know this one never goes out of style.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 1 reply

at your sweetest...

cooldawn — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 06:17:11 GMT

I know all the men in here are hella sexy, but what is the most romantic/hearfelt thing you ever did for someone?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 7 replies

What "MEN" want....

Pineapple2 — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:24:09 GMT

Sex or Affection?

We all pretty much know the stereotype of "men wanting just one thing."

As a man, which do you think men need more, sex or affection? I allow that sex can be seen as a sharing of affection, but I think you'll understand the question.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 16 replies

Lying/Cheating...

Oneinmotion — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 04:08:48 GMT

Why lie and cheat behind a person's back?
If someone does not meet your needs, and you tell them/they don't listen/can't/don't care or whatever
then why not just cut the tie to give you both the opportunity to openly go else where?
Why deceive?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 11 replies

re: How do you like a woman's privates?

triplefire — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 21:21:53 GMT

This topic came up for me today and I am curious what all of you sexy men think?
Pubic hair-Shaved, Brazilian, trimmed, full and thick, any cut I've left out?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 103 replies

Security

Felicia — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 16:26:24 GMT

whassup sexy men,
forgive me if this question has been asked, but i'm new around here so help me out.

tell me how much of a woman's security is your responsibility?

i appreciate any all responses, but i really would like to hear the men's point of view in particular on this one.

thanks for your responses and do let me know if i should provide more clarity.
fe fe :)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 23 replies

How would you feel if an attractive girl approached you...

Oneinmotion — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 05:31:42 GMT

and she just wanted to be your friend?

How would you feel if a girl met you through mutual friends and was interested in being friends with you...
platonic friends...and you are both hot...

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 24 replies

When you know you're rejected

Jen — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:54:41 GMT

Hey! First time posting here. I love this tribe!

Anyways, here is my situation:

So I recently met this guy online, and after a few phone calls and emails, we had made arrangements to meet up. On the first date things went well - we had a great tine talking, walking around, holding hands, making out, yada yada. All in all, I liked him. The next day he sent me an email asking me if I got home alright, and he sent me a virtual rose that said "be mine".

After that we had fairly stable email communications, and he called me a few times.

Two weeks later, we decided to go on our second date. I went over to his house, I met his family breifly (not intended, but still kinda weird), and we watched a few movies. So being the impulsive person that I am, I decided that I would have sex with him. Although, he did much of the physical pursuing. EIther way - I still was very interested in him. And he opened up much of his life to me. His goals, ideas on morals, ideas on life, etc. After all of this, he still seemed interested in me.

So a few days pass, no email, nothing, so I email him and ask when wouild be a good time to call. Then I call him on that day. We talk for literally five minutes, and he says he has to go - and study for his LSAT - in JUNE. He also expressed that he was sorry. SO I let that go. We both are pretty busy individuals. SO A WEEK PASSES. No email. No phone call, nothing. I thought to myself, this is complete bullshit. Calling me would literally take like five seconds, and would keep me in the loop.

So after asking every person in the whole world for advice, I decide to email him. I didn't want to call again, because I didn't want to get blown off- again. I mean, that was my attempt to get to know him better, and I felt that it showed that I was interested in him. Anyways, so I email him something along the lines of "so I get it, you don't want to date me again, When were you planning on telling me... you lack integrity and are flaky... I've moved on" I was pissed.

So I get an email back and he was pretty angry. HIs email back came as a super fast reply, and I just found that to be ironic, and pretty damn sad that I had to bitch him out for him to give a damn to email me... or any form of contact! He said something like "... I didn't think I wouldn't see you again... what did I do to be flaky, and lacking in integrity... I've been so busy with work, school, and friends and family... and I cancelled my dating site account because I don't have time for that... I made no promises and broke none"

So then I emailed him back saying that I wished that he would have informed me sooner or at all of his lifes events, and that I would have liked to have ended it on a better note, but I feel that I have the right to be upset... and that yes you didn't make any promises and broke none, but that's just a way to gloss over the fact that he acted exteremely rude. And that he should have told me that he is too busy to date.

SO what I'm asking is, given this situation, do you think that 10 days of no communication is complete bullshit?

I mean - A little enthusiasm would have shown me that he still was interested. And not to seem full of myself, guys tell me that I'm smokin hot 24/7, and that I'm intelligent as fuck. So what is this guys problem? I can understand busy, but really, an email would have taken like 2 minutes to write. I deserve to know...

(p.s. I'm not goin back to him)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 12 replies

Making Connections

sa — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 15:31:46 GMT

My lovely wife and I want to spice up our love life a bit, but aren't sure where to start. Maybe just by connecting with another couple online or trading pics or something? We'd also be into attending sexy parties.
Problem is, most of our friends are conservative and we don't know anyone who swings or is on any special guest lists.
Any advice on websites or other ways to connect? Any good parties coming up?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 6 replies

Serial Monogamy vs the Alternatives

Lynn — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:27:17 GMT

I originally posted another question in this forum and was really surprised at the responses I got. In several posts I was referred as a "serial monogamist." Honestly, I didn't even know what this meant, I had to look it up. It might be true, but certainly that's not my intention. Now my question is...why are so many people making it sound like this is the 8th deadly sin? After all, I don't think serial monogamists start out in a relationship intending for it to be something that won't last. It just so happens that it doesn't work out and maybe we procrastinate too long about breaking it off. (Is refusing to give up too easily a bad thing?) But if you do decide its a dead end and if Prince Charming just happens to show up the next day......what is the big deal? Or maybe it takes Prince Charming showing up to make you realize there might be a chance out there for a more fulfilling relationship. It's not that I'm "waiting" for someone "better," just hoping for something better for me (whether it be the current guy in new/improved mode or a new guy). Ok then if this isn't acceptable...what about the alternatives..... Is casual sex more acceptable? Multiple partners while you're searching for Mr. Right? Or are "you" suggesting that I remain celebate until I've found the perfect guy and married them? (Which, by the way, I was married for 12 yrs...it was horrible for most of the 12 yrs...and I remained faithful the whole time anyway). I guess I don't understand all the bad vibes I'm getting about this. So let's hear it.......what do you think about serial monogamy and, if you don't like, what do you suggest as an alternative dating practice which still involves having a sexlife without being slutty???

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 7 replies

Sexy Men, sound off!

Ron — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 22:12:45 GMT

What is it about your mate that makes you hot for them?

My woman looks GREAT first thing in the morning, not a drop of makeup, with her hair all tossed. Mmmmmmm. Not to mention she's sexy as hell...

Let's hear it guys. What puts the Bow in your Bow-chicka-wow-wow?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 13 replies

Menses

badass — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 01:27:18 GMT

Does your woman's blood turn you off, stop you from engaging in sexual activity? If so, why?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 6 replies

~a poem about wine~

Oneinmotion — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 02:18:39 GMT

I would like to give credit to the poet, which is not me, but I never have found who wrote this....

A Poem About WIne

If you were a vintage bottle of wine and I could fill my cup...

I'd savor your essence for a time, then slowly drink you up.

I'd let you linger on tounge, delight my palet with your bouquet...

my lips would bathe in your crimson pool and I'd sit and sip all day.

If you were a vintage bottle of wine all mellow and aged in wood.

I'd whirl you and swirl you around my mouth and hold you as long as I could.

I'd drink from you slowly and deeply...and make your flavor last....

and I would not stop till the very last drop....

and I'd probably lick my glass!!

Happy Valentine's Day to all (:
~One~

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 1 reply

what do you consider to be 'sexy'?

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 02:55:50 GMT

eyes? facial structure? body type?

when i am told i am sexy i always have to ask why they thought that lol, so lets hear it!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

Giving Flowers

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 17:05:56 GMT

It has occurred to me lately that I have not received flowers from a man (other than my father) in over two years. I love flowers of all kinds. I find them romantic and add to the charm of my home. They bring a smile to my face just looking at them. Although, having received them from a man of intimate relations, would bring a smile and wonderful connected thoughts of the relationship forming. My ex husband bought flowers for the first several years for no real reason and then only for my birthday and Valentine's Day. With so many places to purchase flowers, why have men stopped making the effort? Is it possible that sexy men are still presenting flowers and I have yet to meet one? So tell me, do you send flowers or bring flowers? And Do you have a way of deciding which flowers to give to your love?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 28 replies

Sam Adams & Portland Prudery

rorybowman — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:09:25 GMT

So, both The Oregonian and Just Out are apparently calling on Sam Adams to resign for (1) having a legal relationship with a younger man and (2) telling a defensive political lie against another, offensive political lie. As someone who remembers how strongly many in Portland defended Neil Goldschidt's extended relationship with a fourteen-year-old girl, and grudging defenses of Bill Clinton, this seems to me high prudery. Caught up in the moral righteousness of the Obama moment, Portland would cut off their noses for prudish probity.

I say to leave Sam Adams alone, and let the truth be his punishment. A legal act and a tactical lie do not diminish his intelligence or skills, nor cancel out the confidence of the voters. Leave Sam alone!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 9 replies

important cell phone info

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 17:46:20 GMT

Remember Cell Phone #s go public today
Reminder ...all cell phone numbers are being released to telemarketing
companies tomorrow and you will start to receiev sales calls
YOU WILL BE CHARGED FOR THESE CALLS!
To prevent this call the following #from your cell phone
888-382-1222
it's the Nationational DO NOT CALL list it will only take a minute
it blocks your cell phone for 5 years you must call from the cell phone you want
blocked
HELP OTHERS..PASS THIS ON...

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 2 replies

Getting your groove back.

Ron — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 16:34:02 GMT

Hey Sexy Guys and the ones who love them.

Lately I've not had much of a groove on. Just can't seem to get into that mode where everything I do clicks into place. Yesterday I felt like a walking jumble. Couldn't get anything done at all...

What do you guys do to get your groove back on?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 17 replies

Men and emotional maturity?

aschleigh — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 02:37:18 GMT

What is emotional maturity to you? When and how did you develop it or have you? Is it something you consciously look for in a relationship? Is it a priority? Does it become more important with age?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 20 replies

how long is too long??

~*~RED~*~ — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 07:40:06 GMT

So, I have recently been seeing this wonderful guy, who I am really into....
but for the first time, since I was in high school, it has been over two weeks, and we have not slept together, I am sure that sounds kinda bad... but normally there is a strong sexual connection between me and someone I am interested in. And there definitely is with this guy, but I am just done with having nothing sexual relationships with guys, I want more. I have decided that I really want to care about the next person I sleep with. So, It is really nice that I have been seeing this great guy who is a gentlemen who really wants to get to know me, and not just get into my pants. But this is kinda uncharted territory for me.... and I am just curious if it can be a bad sign that we have not slept together yet. I have known him for about a year (not close, more acquaintances) and have only started being really interested in one another over the past few weeks....

so how long is too long till you do the deed with that special someone??

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 7 replies

what DON'T you like to hear?

alVacado — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 05:41:25 GMT

in thinking on Aschleigh's question, it made me wonder....

you're in bed with a new lover. what don't you like to hear? verbal/vocal turn-offs or just that...that...

bleh! i was getting there and now, i'm put five steps back or maybe, altogether.

minor annoyance for me, but may affect future consideration:

being told to hush. (understood if the timing is not perfect: roomates, family)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 31 replies

happy holidays

simon_p — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 01:35:12 GMT

Just wanted to wish everyone a happy holiday, whichever one you opt to celebrate or not celebrate. I hope that you are having a safe and sane one.

Simon

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 8 replies

So how do ya pick a mate

JSin — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:20:48 GMT

http://www.divinecaroline.com/article/22081/42913-science-sex--nose-know-

It seems that Pheromones play a huge part of it from a genetic sense... Interestingly near the end read what happens when a woman is on the pill.

JSin

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 9 replies

Artificial lubricants

Pineapple2 — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 21:34:08 GMT

Am I the only one who hates the taste of artificial lubricants?

And, do you think that taking more time to really prep a woman makes them not so necessary?

I used to love fresh whipped cream (no sugar) not so much for the taste, but milk fat seems to keep slick for much longer than any "personal lube" I have tried.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 8 replies

What do you think women want in a relationship?

aschleigh — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 00:27:43 GMT

Big things, small things, What do you think women really want in their relationship?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 51 replies

What a real man would do....

Kai — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:37:24 GMT

Yes I was spammed with this one. But it makes me think a bit about what is required by me to be a suitable boyfriend.

Numbers 5 & 12 seem to be very similar in tone and would indicate to me an issue of trust with the author. But the rest seem to be a bit fluffy and/or things that I would normally do in a relationship.

I will also admit that some of these have back-fired on me in the past in the worst possible way. Which leads me to believe that I couldn’t stick to this list even if I tried.

Guys is this a list you would adhere to?

What a real man would do....

1. Grab her neck when you kiss her, it's a real turn on. Not her butt/boobs.
2. Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
3. When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go then kiss her
4. When she says she's ok dont believe it talk with her
5. Never cheat on her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
6. Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
7. Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
8. Treat her like a person and not something to show off for
9. Tease her and let her tease you back.
10. Stay up all night with her when she's sick.
11. Watch her favorite movie with her.
12. TRUST HER WITH HER GUY FRIENDS
13. Let her wear your clothes.
14. When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.
15. Let her know she's important.
16. Kiss her in the pouring rain.
17. When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 11 replies

Real love exists or it's just hype?

aschleigh — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 17:00:24 GMT

( from a web site called real love.com)

What is Real Love? Learn More
Real Love: The Love We’ve All Been Looking For — Unconditional Love

We've heard songs about it, seen it in the movies, heard it talked about on Oprah by relationship experts, and read about it in thousands of self help books. But, what is unconditional love? We all want to feel loved. We think about it, hope for it, fantasize about it, go to great lengths to achieve it, and feel that our lives are incomplete without it. The lack of unconditional love is the cause of most of our anger and confusion. It is no exaggeration to say that our emotional need for unconditional love is just as great as our physical need for air and food.

It is especially unfortunate, then, that most of us have no idea what unconditional love really is, and we prove our ignorance with our horrifying divorce rate, the incidence of alcohol and drug addiction in our country, the violence in our schools, and our overflowing jails.

Our misconceptions of unconditional love began in early childhood, where we saw that when we did all the right things—when we were clean, quiet, obedient and otherwise “good”—people “loved” us. They smiled at us and spoke in gentle tones. But we also saw that when we were “bad,” all those signs of “love” instantly vanished. In short, we were taught by consistent experience that love was conditional, that we had to buy “love” from the people around us with our words and behavior.

So what’s wrong with conditional love? We see it everywhere we look, so what could be wrong with it? Imagine that every time you pay me fifty dollars, I tell you I love you. We could do that all day, but at the end of the day would you feel loved? No, because you’d know that I “loved” you only because you paid me. We simply can’t feel fulfilled by love we pay for. We can feel loved only when it is freely, unconditionally given to us. The instant we do anything at all to win the approval or respect of other people—with what we say, what we do, how we look—we are paying for the attention and affection we receive, and we can’t feel genuinely loved.

A New Definition of Love: Real Love

There’s only one kind of love that can fill us up, make us whole, and give us the happiness we all want: unconditional love or true love. It is unconditional love that we all seek, and somehow we intuitively realize that anything other than that kind of love isn’t really love at all—it’s an imitation of the real thing.

Unconditional love—true love—is so different from the kind of love most of us have known all our lives that it deserves both a name—Real Love—and definition of its own: Real Love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves. It’s also Real Love when other people care about our happiness unconditionally. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. Under those conditions we’re just paying for love again. We can be certain that we’re receiving Real Love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they don’t feel disappointed or irritated at us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and that love alone has the power to heal all wounds, bind people together, and create relationships quite beyond our present capacity to imagine.

What we Do Without Real Love: Imitation Love

If we don’t have enough Real Love in our lives, the resulting emptiness is unbearable. We then compulsively try to fill our emptiness with whatever feels good in the moment—money, anger, sex, alcohol, drugs, violence, power, and the conditional approval of others. Anything we use as a substitute for Real Love becomes a form of Imitation Love, and although Imitation Love feels good for a moment, it never lasts and never gives us the feeling of genuine happiness that Real Love provides.
Most people spend their entire lives trying to fill their emptiness with Imitation Love, but all they achieve is an ever-deepening frustration, punctuated by brief moments of superficial satisfaction. All the unhappiness in our lives is due to that lack of Real Love and to the frustration we experience as we desperately and hopelessly try to create happiness from a flawed foundation of Imitation Love. The beauty of Real Love is that it ALWAYS will eliminate our anger, confusion, and pain. So how do we find this universal cure?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 28 replies

How do you like a man's privates?

none — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 04:40:32 GMT

I guess to be fair the same question goes..
How do you like a man's privates?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 18 replies

Mommy's Boys

Lotusflower — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 17:36:25 GMT

I would like to get a man's opinion on this (women feel free to chime in)...Do you think a man who is over 40, doesn't have job, lives with his mother and smokes weed EVERY day is capable of maintaining a serious relationship? Just going on the description I gave you, what is the FIRST impression you have of this man?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 37 replies

Body Hair

Eden — Thu, 06 Apr 2006 21:58:05 GMT

So there was a thread about back hair on the AASWA tribe, so I thought it would be interesting to see how guys felt about the same issue.

How do you guys feel about women with body hair? Back, arms, legs, torso, butt- whatever. I don't mean body hair like guys have, just noticeable- I think it would be pretty hard for a woman to get as hairy as some guys I've seen.

For instance, what if it was just peach fuzz, but maybe noticeable because it was dark hair? Not like she's wearing a sweater, but noticeable. Would it be a deal breaker even if everything else about the woman was great? How picky are you about it? What does it depend on? Would you date a woman who chose not to do hair removal, or who was hairier than some women?

Share your thoughts! :D

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 103 replies

Monogamy as Single Point of Failure

rorybowman — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 17:24:34 GMT

"Single point of failure" (SPoF) is a term I learned for computer systems, where failure of a single component brings down everything. The classic example is a single, central router, but individual computers (such as a server) may be built with redundant components so that this does not happen. Looking at the thread on married men, affairs and open relationships, I begin to think on monogamy as a single point of failure (SPoF) for many heterosexual relationships and wonder if that is design failure on the part of the participants.

I am, for example, in an ongoing men's support group, and have been for going on ten years. It is part of an international group, which contains hundreds of these groups, most of which meet 1-4 times each month and provide emotional help and support to each other toward the general goal of being better men. Although men who are new to the group may have had a variety of affairs, to the best of my knowledge, none of the men who have been active in the group has ever begun an affair while participating. Part of this is, I suspect, because the group provides emotional support and feedback that allows them to meet their emotional needs without breaking their emotional vows. Unhappy men may divorce to get more or different sex, if that is important, but tend to be clean in this decision.

I am wondering if the problem with monogamy is not biological, but sociological. If the dominant mythology and expectation is of happily-ever-after perfection in a supremely atomized society, how can many relationships NOT fail? I find that the stronger my general social network (colleagues, family, friends, etc) the less strained my romantic relationships are.

Does expecting one person to meet all of one's needs inevitably lead toward failure for most people? Can a richer life with more realistic expectations decrease overall deception, unhappiness, hypocrisy and "affairs?" What are your thoughts?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 36 replies

VS

Sprout — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 10:15:55 GMT

How often do you want it vs how often you get it..........

Do you get cranky if you don't get it once a week (in a relationship)?

Do you believe that women "put out" to get a man and then pull back?

Sorry for all the questions. Needed male opinions.........

Of course, you are exceptional males, but the input still helps :)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 15 replies

what do you like to hear? Dirty talk

hennatat — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 13:42:03 GMT

swear words/explatives?
things about your anatomy?
future ( what i would do ...kind of things)

tone of voice...
soft?
forceful?
non chalant?

Any inside appriciated :-)

Amy:-)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 18 replies

Huh??!!??

dragonlady247 — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 18:32:36 GMT

Whatdya make of a guy that calls on you* for support everytime he has a crisis and then dumps on you when he has another new GF?? Makes you* feel guilty when you need a little help, even though you* rarely ask for favors?

*"You" bein the platonic, female friend.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 25 replies

Public Displays of Affection <cross posted and lifted>

JSin — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 03:02:41 GMT

Ok so how do ya weigh in on PDAs.

For me the limits in general are hand holding and a brief kiss.. The rational being others need not be exposed to the extent of the relationship.

One may ask why? I have to draw the line somewhere. In a no limits kinda world what is the real difference between making out and her blowing me on the bus, or me chaining her to a stop sign and beating her then licking her dripping twat?

To me some things have an essential element of privacy. Non consensual viewers need not be involved and I would question the ethics of non consensually involving them.

I tend to like the privacy of knowing what I do with a woman is between me and her. Let others wonder.

JSin

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 15 replies

Is anal sex the new blowjob?

astrea — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 23:53:39 GMT

It seems so passe to give head these days... not that that's stopping me...

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 51 replies

Ever really want to make Smoke on a Woman's water?

Shells — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 07:07:41 GMT

Darling, darling...when it's comes down to it, doesn't your world revolve around a woman's plea for your desire?

Don't you yearn for the touch of her sweet passion? Do you have what it takes to burn the anticipation of a woman for as long as you are? Or do you, like so many men, fall quick to the inability and knowledge of how to treat/please a woman to absolutely make her yours?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 29 replies

The "break-up fight" is essential to move on...

Rossco — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 12:37:23 GMT

I have finally found a reason to be pissed off with my on again off again lady friend Carolyn and I think she pissed me off on purpose, so we could have our break up fight.

Is it essential to have a fight with your lover so she can be an ex?

Is it essential in today's world to have the breakup fight so you can move on and give yourself to the next person?

Without it, is there room for rekindling that old flame into a roaring fire again as we did several times without the breakup fight?

I propose the idea that the breakup fight is essential and that without it there will always be room for what if's and if only's, not just for myself, but for any future partner as well.

I also believe that with a bit of time, we can be friends again, but not as we once were.

Anyone else got a view on this?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 25 replies

The kiss?

Pineapple2 — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 20:53:13 GMT

I was just considering some research "facts" that came up in another thread.

It stated that well over 65% of men will "have sex" with women they would never... kiss.

?????

And, that a very high percentage of women will abort romantic interest if upon the very first kiss they think he's a "bad kisser"

So, here's my question? Have you kissed every woman you've had sex with?

Why not? What makes you want to kiss a woman, in the first place?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 9 replies

Penile issues

Schirin — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 08:42:29 GMT

So have any of you men had anything called a thrombosed vein or lymphocele‏ on their penis? It can be caused by strenuous jerking off or sex. Apparently it's pretty common, and no, it's not an STD. My boyfriend has experienced this for the first time recently. Basically, it looks like an enlarged vein near the head of his penis, with small hard round 'balls' inside caused by a lymphatic system issue. If you have experienced this, how long did it take for it to go away? He/we are having a hard time "laying off' which is the only recommendation we're finding online. I'd like him to see a doc to see if he might recommend any antibiotics, but he has no insurance as he is self-employed so he's having to put it off for now.

Thanks for any advice. My man is fairly worried (as any man would be when they find something odd on their penis).

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 2 replies

For the ladies :what makes a man sexy?

Wanderingwolf — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 17:03:28 GMT

Id like a list please, lol, physical attributes, mental, emotional, spiritual. and why this is so sexy to you ladies.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 46 replies

Little Doses

ReachOut — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:44:31 GMT

Have you ever loved someone or even just lusted after someone... but knew that you could only take them in little doses? More emotionally and mentally than physically (unless that's the topic you want to take ;-)...)

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 4 replies

Tribe is back & I am here

simon_p — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 13:15:51 GMT

Sorry I have been absent recently but a combination of Tribe outages and crazy work has kept me tied up. But rest assured I am here and do not plan on going anywhere, will try to post some new threads, stir things up in here now that Tribe is up again & hopefully it will stay up.

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 18 replies

Just in case your woman doesn't think you're romantic enough

still_shiney — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 21:27:21 GMT

http://www.impactlab.com/2008/04/04/men-are-more-likely-to-die-of-a-broken-heart/

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 8 replies

Ning - in case tribe dies

simon_p — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 23:17:51 GMT

I have started up Ask A Sexy man over on Ning just in case, please feel free to join ;)

http://askasexyman.ning.com/

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 10 replies

x-post: Is text messaging the new calling?

Jennifer — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 15:37:58 GMT

Curious what people think of text messaging in the dating world? I know it's an excellent tool for short notes, reminders, etc, but when it becomes the primary mode of communication what are your thoughts? Part of me thinks communication is communication, yet the flipside is if someone is truely interested they call. Thanks for your feedback!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 19 replies

My 9 year old saw our sex tape by accident

Rossco — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 02:05:59 GMT

Bloody hell...shit shit shit

My son picked up the Camera and was playing around and I forgot to take out the tape of me and my girlfriend having sex. He saw enough to worry him and told my ex wife who picked him up that afternoon, he wont come over now. My ex wife had to call me about it... that went down well. After I apologised for abusing her (I was ashamed and embarrassed that she was the one to call) we agreed we should talk to him.

WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A 9 YEAR OLD WHO HAS SEEN YOU ON A SEX TAPE

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 13 replies

Men and Power ......

aschleigh — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:46:10 GMT

What is power to you? How do you feel about power? Is it power over someone or something you hear when you hear power or is it power over yourself?
Is power a good thing or bad? Do you feel like you have equal power in your relationships or unequal? At work or home?
In your primary relationship ( gay or straight) is there a power balance or ineqaulity? Do you feel power comes from within or without?
Do power relationships play out in the bedroom? If so how? Do you feel powerful in your own life? If not who has the power in your life?
If you had the choice would you have the ultimate power over everything or would you rather someone else have it, who, why?
Men and power is fascinating to me. ( Women are power is fascinating but that's another thread)
Who do you see as the most powerful man and why? Is it money, intelligence, location, consciousness, what is it that makes them powerful?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 34 replies

"Self help" books in general?

sturmeyarcher — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 18:12:30 GMT

I've always felt there was *something* to be gained there, but there are so many titles it's a little overwhelming.
Then there's the fact that some of them are unreadable. Or, that they seem to spend as much time convincing you that you have whatever problem it is that's at question before they can sell you the snake oil.
But some must be good.

I have a strong resistance to ever cracking the covers of one, but I've recently discovered books on tape and cd from the library. I can listen to the stuff while I cook and wash dishes.

Be prepared to check your ego at the door on this one, because my experience so far has been that there's both gems and trash between the "covers" of all of them, thus some readers will focus on the trash and find those parts unconscionable, while others will marvel at having found some pithy way of viewing an old problem in a new light. One person's trash is another's treasure.

And some lofty thinkers will place themselves above the entire genre by branding it hopelessly plodding and mundane.

That said, though; any you've found particularly insightful or useful or maybe just interesting?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 24 replies

Wounded Man in a Cage

rorybowman — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:19:29 GMT

This year's presidential race in the United States offers an interesting opportunity to consider masculinity and masculine psychology. Whether one is comparing and contrasting Barack Obama and John McCain, or simply examining each as a case study himself, there is a lot of material to work with. One of the reasons that kings and generals figure so strongly in the great works of the Greek playwrights and Shakespeare, I suspect, is because they are so large and so grotesque. The ambition or defect that drives one to become a tycoon or senator is unusual, such that these men are an excellent mirror for others. Like Captain Renault in Casablanca, they are "like most men, only more so.”

Although Barack Obama will prove an interesting study, for the moment I am noticing much more in John McCain. The son and grandson of admirals, he had a remarkably undistinguished military career, if by "distinguished" one means "successfully respectable." Getting into Annapolis almost entirely on family connections, he graduated 894th of 899 in his class. How much of his ability to avoid expulsion was his own skill and how much connections, I cannot say, but after graduating he crashed two planes and once collided with some power lines before barely escaping one of the worst fires in naval history aboard the USS Forestal, after which he may have been evacuated for his own safety. The fourth plain he destroyed was the one he was shot down in while bombing civilians near the city of Hanoi, an incident he survived with the help of some Vietnamese civilians who helped rescue him from a lake. Injured and tortured as a prisoner of war, he may or may not have received preferential treatment because of his bloodline but did what most people would do, succumbing to threats and torture to save his own life. He received some fairly standard military awards for his capture and time as a POW, has studiously avoided all contact with fellow prisoners since then and has cultivated the political persona of a "maverick" war hero ever since.

However long dead his father-line may be and however far he may try to distance himself from Hanoi, John McCain remains a wounded man in a cage. He has clearly never addressed the woundings he received as a boy, nor lived up to the hopes he had for himself. He blusters as if he has, because that wins promotions, but in his heart of hearts he is failure and fraud, as surely as Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are shrewd pleasers.

McCain is what George W. Bush might have become, had he had the courage to advance into military service and fail at that as well. The child of privilege has not embraced his full humanity, and so cannot be trusted.

What do you think?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 17 replies

Swallow or Spit

simon_p — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:44:47 GMT

Reading a friends blog this morning started me wondering if she was right, according to her only 10% of her female friends swallowed.... I found that rather shocking, I have never been with someone who spit out afterwards and frankly I wouldn't. Not that the spitting in of itself is so terrible but if someone has issues there it just suggests that they are going to be far to conservative / prudish to get along well with me.

So what do your partners do? Do you care one way or another? Ladies of the tribe what do you do and why?

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 39 replies

tips for online dating from a real woman...

triplefire — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 16:19:02 GMT

This is my list I posted on OKCupid. Does anyone have anything to add? I have encountered a number of men who seem to be clueless so I thought I would help them out...and a list for us girls done by the guys would be fun too!

#1. DON'T lie about your age as we always find out and what is the point?
#2. Please dont email nude pics unless she has asked to see them as most women find it just plain creepy.
#3. When IMing a real turnoff is to start it out with..."can I ask you a personal question?"...which usually leads into something sexual and I dont know why a stranger you have never talked to or met would expect an answer?
#4. If someone does respond to an IM realize that they may have just left the computer online and not be anywhere near it therefore oblivious to your IM. If they keep closing the window then they are not interested!
#5. If you are just playing an internet game with girls be upfront about it and let them choose whether they want to play with you. Telling them you are for real and want to meet them and then never following up is misleading and not honest as well as frustrating as all hell!
#6. When you have arranged a meeting be where and when you said you would be and dont make her come looking for you.
#7. Expecting or asking a woman to get into your car at the first meeting is not cool. In this day and age everyone should be conscious about personal safety issues. Keep the first date public and comfortable for her unless she has indicated that she desires more privacy *
#8. Adjust your speed of walking and talking to the woman's. Running ahead of her at your first meeting is a sign that you want to escape not stay and get to know her. Don't make her ask you to slow down. I know some people do this when they are nervous but be aware of what signals it gives the other person.
#9. Keep the first date short and allow each other to decide if you want to meet again and then plan something longer. If the woman is looking at her watch or wiggling in her seat she probably wants to leave so be a gentleman and let her go accepting that the energy connection does not always go both ways.
#10. After the date email a thank you and let her know if you would like to meet again to explore something, just want to be friends, or that there was not any attraction there for you so wish her luck in the dating scene. Honesty scores big points!
#11. Relax and Have Fun. Laughing together is a good bonding skill!

posted in Ask a Sexy Man ANYTHING - 9 replies